random jungle noise

[now is forever]

so it must be the mind/no mind behind the pictures.

i feel more home in this

Edited November 28, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

but then this picture (though it was once standing for itself without an ox) at this moment could also be an attempt to get a hold of one of the oxes/cows in the herd...what if there is not just one but many of them...phiu what if there are many muh‘s? and it’s more about keeping the muh‘s together.

one is business, one is health, one is ohhhh wait i‘m starting to juggle with muh‘s

Edited November 30, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

maybe the question is: what’s the difference between the muh and the mu.

[now is forever]

i think i need to grab the ox by the balls! i mean i need a rope. and then focusing on patterns and traces.

as i learned today: substance/form/purpose

(funny that’s not even a new rope it’s just that i never noticed it in that way - it’s a really good one to carry around in the pocket)

Edited November 29, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

so it’s good to focus on the parts where i still lack or gave up some substance at least the ones where we genarally always can improve in.

getting a grip on the grit.

found some answers here:

 

Edited November 30, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

just watched the video about derrida and deconstruction and i‘m a little confused because i don’t know if i have seen it before - somehow it feels like it and somehow i think i haven‘t - if i had i would have read the paper.

given the fact that i didn’t see any videos during the last maybe two years until last may, chances are kind of high i haven’t seen it - or did it just get recontextualized. there was certainly something new to it - i think it was the anecdote - usually i remember anecdotes.

very interesting dejavu experience.

anyhow it reminds me of how blurry memory can be.

also think i didn’t see it because i used to think what i call disconstruction in german was deconstruction... and i can remember where and when i first thought about disconstruction - still very disturbing not to know.

but maybe i shouldn’t care.

Edited November 30, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

so somehow mixing derrida with kōans leads me to dada.

so i am a little sad tonight - it feels a little insecure and lost.

morning edit:

it doesn’t matter, i still love dada especially the freedom of it - i love to love - and dada can’t hide well, maybe for now but certainly not forever.

somehow today the whole spongebubble seems like love and exsponges into this tiny spongebubble. maybe because it’s first of december? i don’t celebrate it this year but somehow - whatever.

i guess it’s shin - he looks differently green today. i can hear the tiny bells ring - he‘ll rather catch a reindeer than an ox.

Edited December 1, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

one of the things i‘ll have to get a grip on again is some kind of anticipation for the future while living every day - setting small goals while aiming for the vision might be good, planing some vacation might be good, and then just filling up the time inbetween with what i really want to do for now. so focusing on becoming a table again 

harry nilssons umbrella seems so big - think i can walk along.

Edited December 2, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

being openhearted and staying vulnerable demands the flexibility of a rubber band. 

today is kind of stormy.

(quiet water outside seems to be an illusion)

Edited December 2, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

there is some more reflection on the word mu - it can also be spoken as wu and is part of the word wuwei - it means not forcing. (it can also be not doing or not acting but in my understandment these are not really fitting translations) - maybe wuwei can’t be translated with one word only, as it is a more complex phenomenon described in the daodejing.

i’ll try to integrate that more, but it also means a person can’t stop breathing.

Edited December 2, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

just repaired a small clock with superglue and a disposable syringe.

my new favourite background music for small operations. it somehow gives the right mood to not mess it up.

 

Edited December 2, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

breathing - i‘m still not completely done with the way of the wu.

it‘s also connected to martial arts. found this small sequence of a bruce lee movie.

 

[now is forever]

today the sky is three d as there are two layers of clouds. the clouds closer to me are more like a fast mooving nebular, while the ones further away almost stand still and the sun and blue sky is shining through. 

the weather had disappeared somewhere in november.

[now is forever]

i literally became a table today - i started to brush wood with a drilling machine and a brass brush. i really missed working with wood it smells so good and i love how it feels - well i think i missed working on material and getting lost in it.

Edited December 3, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

this morning is filled with music. and woodwork.

Edited December 4, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

somehow i start to think about boundaries again - but that would mean building walls of words or silence. it’s interesting how people think vulnerability is naivety - yes maybe it is a little bit. but maybe it’s just the same way naive as someone who doesn’t speak ones language is dumb.

 

Edited December 4, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

today i want to start deviding my day a little bit better. one big chunk for the day and personal development and forum activities in the morning and evening, and i’ll experiment on the sleeping chunk. for some time it was not possible to devide anything for me as too much was going on. - we‘ll see if that’s more a cake or more a ladder.

maybe it‘s a cake/ladder

of course it will neither be a cake nor a ladder.

but maybe i‘ll need to still have bigger morning evening chunks in the beginning....and then i‘ll just reduce.

from the side it just looks like a hamster wheel. but it’s prepared with cake, so there is no need for a hamster a rat can still survive.

Edited December 5, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

mhhh - i‘m a cake hunter not a cheese hunter. and i‘m a sun hunter so night will have no chance to eat up all of my time - so i‘ll maybe implement some surya prayer in the morning to give all the love from the sun to the world.

even though winter, the sun can get really hot at some places on the world - time is timetravel.

Edited December 5, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

blog activities are quite interesting - it’s from 1996...

saturday night fever? prism is a dancer? spiral dynamics?

so thank you? now everyone knows everything about me? at least i‘ve been screened!

there is this saying in german once the reputation is ruined you can live entirely uninhibited. good they didn’t know stages above green then - maybe i‘m already over the problematic line then as a creative - and i‘m against the 3d printing of weapons just to use this as a platform now.

ah now i get it - it’s spiraldynamics shadow. phiu it’s quite a shadow.

Edited December 5, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

what makes me think about how to wash my own shadow - do you think it would fit into the washing machine. it’s really just a small one if you look at my avatar.

maybe i can just greenwash it.

Edited December 6, 2018 by now is forever