random jungle noise

[now is forever]

everyone talks about ego death and now that i‘m willing to die, i‘m included (or excluded) to everyone’s ego and can’t. how weird is it?

[mandyjw]

Oh my God the bunny, I've been noticing bunnies, I always hated that in Monty python, I went down to the stream from the cemetary a week ago and found a fox hole with the remains of a white bunny by it.

[now is forever]

8 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Oh my God the bunny, I've been noticing bunnies, I always hated that in Monty python, I went down to the stream from the cemetary a week ago and found a fox hole with the remains of a white bunny by it.

why it‘s super funny. they even call it a rabbit - but it’s a metaphor, because it’s protecting the holy grail 

?‍♀️

in germany we call people fear rabbits if they don’t want to do something because they don’t have the courage. even though it’s probbably because bunnies start to shiver and get big eyes when they are afraid. it’s still funny. they look so cute don’t they.

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[Shin]

I thought you were going ?

[now is forever]

32 minutes ago, Shin said:

I thought you were going ?

@Leo Gura doesn‘t react to me, asking to delete everything. i‘ll probably need to ask someone else.

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[now is forever]

you see this is like an addiction, i can’t get rid of it if i don’t force myself. i can’t have a way back. i need that help. i‘m clinging to this online identity, yes of course that’s also me, but i am not that.

at some point i didn’t like facebook anymore, well in a sense in the beginning i liked it because people could experiment on building a different identity. but also i hated the amount of applied self-projection. how people present their egos a constant struggle about who looks better who has more friends, blablablabla. it’s so orange. sometimes i even wondered how people could present their babies in their profile pics, does it mean they lost their identity and the child took over their identity? or what did they want to communicate?

for me the same thing is happening with actualized .org at the moment. it’s like a second facebook. no, thank you, i already had this shit. i‘m really good in seeing these group dynamics coming - it’s a prophecy  this place is going to be more orange than ever.

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[tsuki]

I don't think anybody is going to hide your posts for you. The posts are not the problem.
This place is already running through your veins, your soul is entangled with it. This is why it's difficult to leave.

Freeing myself from my masks is never about smashing anything, or even taking them off.
It's about a smile, laughter, the 'even me' phenomenon. It's shameless nakedness, having the audacity to not care.

[now is forever]

7 minutes ago, tsuki said:

I don't think anybody is going to hide your posts for you. The posts are not the problem.
This place is already running through your veins, your soul is entangled with it. This is why it's difficult to leave.

Freeing myself from my masks is never about smashing anything, or even taking them off.
It's about a smile, laughter, the 'even me' phenomenon. It's shameless nakedness, having the audacity to not care.

yes but i set myself the goal to erase data connected to my personality as far as possible - well then i will still have to do it with my own hands if i don’t get the right as everyone else. it is not that this data was ment for eternity. it was ment for the moment.

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[now is forever]

On 29.5.2018 at 9:23 PM, now is forever said:

do you realize it's like the schrödinger experiment?

i'm not sure what will be the outcome - but i expect it to be kind of a joke or not.

it's all about a cat in a box ?=> ? 

the question is who is the cat and who is the spectator.

this was a funny one. actually i‘m wondering how i will exit the box, alive or dead, at the moment i‘m smeared in space.

[mandyjw]

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

why it‘s super funny. they even call it a rabbit - but it’s a metaphor, because it’s protecting the holy grail 

?‍♀️

in germany we call people fear rabbits if they don’t want to do something because they don’t have the courage. even though it’s probbably because bunnies start to shiver and get big eyes when they are afraid. it’s still funny. they look so cute don’t they.

I used to have pet rabbits when I was a kid, I know that look exactly. 

Don't cling to your online identity, tell us your name. Group dynamics and color coding is so stage yellow. We need to integrate all the stages. I went back to my generic apple avatar for you. I wasn't nearly ready to put my face on here, it felt so gross you don't even know. 

[now is forever]

9 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

I used to have pet rabbits when I was a kid, I know that look exactly. 

Don't cling to your online identity, tell us your name. Group dynamics and color coding is so stage yellow. We need to integrate all the stages. I went back to my generic apple avatar for you. I wasn't nearly ready to put my face on here, it felt so gross you don't even know. 

i‘m sorry 

i liked the anonymity here. that was mainly why i even entered. i would never have started posting here otherwise. i liked it that you could be here whoever you where however you felt. it didn’t distract from personality, no other identity involved whatsoever. i don’t want to tell my name or show my face in connection to my intestines - why should i. it’s not something i want to dress myself up with. it’s not something i can be free about if i need to dress myself up with it.

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[mandyjw]

@now is forever Because you fragment yourself. You integrated, integrated and integrated and now you want to stop. 

Look at the "female topic" post. That is what she thinks are appropriate female topics? 

Please.

Don't.

Leave.

Me.

Edited May 30, 2019 by mandyjw

[now is forever]

8 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@now is forever Because you fragment yourself. You integrated, integrated and integrated and now you want to stop. 

no this is all connected to me, it doesn’t change who i am if i keep that content or not - it all came out of me, and so it will come out of me whatever the situation might be. i don’t need to put a name on it - it is like stepping back into the real world again out of phantasia and next time i step into it there is another world waiting for me.

we need to grow up and be concious about our data.

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[tsuki]

@now is forever You've been deliberately constructing yourself to your own liking? Haven't you learned that desires are fickle?

@mandyjw hahahahaha you should talk to her, she might teach you a few things.

[mandyjw]

@tsuki if only you knew how evolved I actually am that way. I am not having a mundane yet explicit discussion in public for people to jerk off to, sorry. That is exactly the last thing that will help women feel welcome and equal here. 

[now is forever]

11 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@now is forever You've been deliberately constructing yourself to your own liking? Haven't you learned that desires are fickle?

yes i already know that. but i also know what doesn’t die and i should returning to construct the connections to this in my real life. as this here will never become something touchable livable in the constellation it is here, i need to give up on most of the personal knotted connections as well. 

Edited May 30, 2019 by now is forever

[mandyjw]

@now is forever That's not true. It's going to be real. Unless you don't want it to be real that is. You have free choice, or so you think. 

[tsuki]

Hahaha, if that's what you're planning then go on. You could go in the opposite way by making this place more real by showing your face. That would cut right through your masks without deleting anything. One fell swoop.

Things are only as real as you make them. Only as sacred or mundane as you have them.

That's what Mandy seems to be missing too. Masturbation is a part of witchcraft.

[mandyjw]

@tsuki I told you, I ALREADY know all about it. 

@now is forever Have you ever considered I'm more uncomfortable about this than you? I am you. 

[now is forever]

2 minutes ago, tsuki said:

Hahaha, if that's what you're planning then go on. You could go in the opposite way by making this place more real by showing your face. That would cut right through your masks without deleting anything. One fell swoop.

Things are only as real as you make them. Only as sacred or mundane as you have them.

That's what Mandy seems to be missing too. Masturbation is a part of witchcraft.

there are no masks the identity here is faceless. it was never supposed to be more than that. i fell into wonderland and forgot to leave.