random jungle noise

[now is forever]

1 minute ago, jbram2002 said:

You say we don't understand, don't know you, that we're wrong. Help us understand. Why exactly are you leaving?  

You say you don't like the egos on the forum. Yes, there's a lot of ego. We all have ego. You included. If you didn't have a massive ego, you wouldn't be going through every post, rereading your own wisdom, and resharing it. You wouldn't delete your posts if you had no ego. You maybe think you're deleting your ego with it, but you're simply growing it.

You have several people here who are genuinely concerned about you. Some of what you're saying sounds like depression. Some of it sounds like the same walls many others have hit on their path to enlightenment. You are pushing hard against anyone who challenges your view. Why?

It's ok to want to leave. People grow and move on. But what you're doing here looks like a cry for help. The people who love you are standing up and asking how they can help. Open up to us. Even if you have to do so in PMs. But more importantly, open up to yourself. 

so first of all of course i have an ego, but i only share these past thoughts with myself - who do i talk to? to no one i just let the thoughts run. it’s like talking to myself. sorry you get concerned! i just try to creatively actively figure out myself - it’s a deconstruction process. i’m sorry you got involved. i’m sorry i made you integrate me as a friend. i’m probably not. i have not been from the beginning. we all just use each other to mirror ourselves as soon as the ego can it strikes. i’m not particularly talking about you. i just got tired of it. i thought the last video would bring people to reflect it actually did that to me. i thought about what needs to survive in me and the i saw what survives in others and it made me so sad and angry and empty. i don’t know whom i’m doing this for as i never did this just for myself - i didn’t even want to be here in the beginning.

it’s the outcome if people play with spirituality. there was a chaos storm going on here when i arrived now i am that. this is rage and the will to destroy.

[now is forever]

4 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

The dream is part of itself, part of your story including humanity. You won’t be able to escape/run away or end it 

bring love and acceptance to the demons you see “out there” in this world, THIS IS consciousness work  

who says, this is not? it is impossible. if it won’t work here, where will it work? it has always been impossible. i just didn’t mind before.

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[Zigzag Idiot]

When we see too much, we become inconsolable.

[DrewNows]

1 minute ago, now is forever said:

who says, this is not?

No escaping YOU, so what are you doing here...

[now is forever]

5 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

No escaping YOU, so what are you doing here...

i am journaling and you take part in it as you wish to. i don’t limit you. you project on me and i tell you where i don’t agree. you can stop taking part in it any minute. can you? obviously not! 

so what am i doing here. i process something - is this ok with you? do i need to ask you for permission? i’ll delete it afterwards - i’d do it somewhere else, but the problem is in this space connected to this space, my traces in this space. i told you i’m wrapping up loose ends.

[now is forever]

On 23.5.2018 at 0:06 PM, now is forever said:

yeah but there is no absence of thing. thing is made up of energy. and energy has rules.

be happy, you are a verry high organized being in an itself creating environment out of pure not nothingness, you are a mystery.

if you accept that, you can find out about every layer in between, everything has information to it you don't have to believe in just one point of view, you can create your own reality with it. but ultimatively you need a body for that, i love to create with my body heart and mind, my hands are the highest good i have, though.

 

On 23.5.2018 at 1:29 PM, now is forever said:

my favourite artist: robert montgomery:

 

maybe i forgot to mention the soul. without the soul the heart is junk food for the ego.

[now is forever]

this refrain came to my mind - as i know i have to destroy it. without destroying it i will not go on. i will stay trapped here forever. it’s time of the killing moon.

the moon is not a male symbol. in asia the moon stands for the feminine.

 

[DrewNows]

i constantly misunderstand/misinterpret  you in what you share with me. Do whatever you see fit for your own expansion ?

Btw I don’t appreciate your judgement against projection and seemingly against survival 

carry on with the processing of yourself, this seems strange ‘as if’ you might actually forget that which is you,

anyways it can certainly be as if I were never here, never even existed

“maybe you’re perfect now and you don’t wanna ruin that” 

“I think that’s a super philosophy; that way you can go through your entire life without really having to know anybody” 

love these quotes from good will hunting 

Have a great day or night 

Edited May 29, 2019 by DrewNows

[now is forever]

8 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

i constantly misunderstand/misinterpret  you in what you share with me. Do whatever you see fit for your own expansion ?

Btw I don’t appreciate your judgement against projection and seemingly against survival 

carry on with the processing of yourself, this seems strange ‘as if’ you might actually forget that which is you,

anyways it can certainly be as if I were never here, never even existed

“maybe you’re perfect now and you don’t wanna ruin that” 

“I think that’s a super philosophy; that way you can go through your your entire life without really having to know anybody” 

love these quotes from good will hunting 

Have a great day or night 

i appreciate your attempt. but you got me involved with you very late to my story here, and it’s not against you. i already forgot myself - i forgot myself here. even though i started to forget myself much earlier on. i probably started to forget myself the moment of my birth. i can know a person only when i spend time with them. and to spend time here i left other people alone. you see the problem. of course you will never know anybody in your life! you can only be there for them and understand them, or you won’t. 

it’s contraction/retreat not expansion.

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[tsuki]

You're disturbing her. Let her do her thing.

[DrewNows]

I don’t make any attempt, I support you. I was merely curious about all the fuss. Continue to contract/retreat into expansion  

@now is foreverdont wish to be a disruption  anymore 

 

 

Edited May 29, 2019 by DrewNows

[now is forever]

On 16.5.2018 at 7:57 AM, now is forever said:

it's about wanting something so much they will burn themselves.

the question i posted was:

why do moths burn themselves flying towards the light?

there is this german song:

in the free fall through space and time. towards infinity. moths fly towards the light, the same as you and me.

somewhere somewhen, somehow the future starts. i will not wait for long. love is made of courage. don’t think for long. we move on fire wheels towards the future through the night.

 

 

 

 

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[now is forever]

the manual cleaning takes to long. and i got headaches. i realize how the ego slowly softens it out again. i could keep it... i could still sometimes... no. no. NO

i really must go, i don’t like some developments here. i also understand why joseph had to do what he did! i also want to leave. he somehow inspires me, the deeper the bonding the more radical you must be with how you leave. emotions involved. people hurt. don’t want you to leave because we cling together like cow on ice.

i loved how zweistein left, she was so virtuous in ice skating she didn’t get stuck.

i=you=we

 

[now is forever]

i feel like waiting for godot

 

[tsuki]

I'm still missing @Zweistein.

She posted here a few days ago. I hoped she would drop by and say hi.

Edited May 29, 2019 by tsuki

[now is forever]

19 minutes ago, tsuki said:

I'm still missing @Zweistein.

She posted here a few days ago. I hoped she would drop by and say hi.

thought you where joking. also what she wrote seems like a prophecy - it was maybe the one grain of sand that brought out the sphinx.  we were both so much into the neverending story.

she even posted a bunny. although i can’t remember what the bunnies where about... ah it was about the monty python ?? fear bunny.

i actually wonder if they ever heard the story of the seven swabians.

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[now is forever]

 

@Hellspeed hehe i got it now ⛰?

always thought it was just about the bunny.

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[now is forever]

@Leo Gura are you ignoring me or are you ignoring me?

[Truth Addict]

13 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@Leo Gura are you ignoring me or are you ignoring me?

Start ranting and Santa will show up 

[now is forever]

12 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

Start ranting and Santa will show up 

i am not sure if i‘m on the ignore list.