random jungle noise

[now is forever]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

That must be the sweetest thing someone told me in a decade.

I don't know what to say ...

I'm a heartless bastard so maybe that's why ?

i don’t believe that you are heartless - you have humor and that’s probably ten of ten bananas in a scale of ten!

but the last post was confusing. so maybe you are a bastard. 

[Shin]

13 minutes ago, now is forever said:

i don’t believe that you are heartless - you have humor and that’s probably ten of ten bananas in a scale of ten!

but the last post was confusing. so maybe you are a bastard. 

How was it confusing ?

[now is forever]

1 minute ago, Shin said:

How was it confusing ?

the y was.

and in a sense it’s not because to answer it: you where here all along.

[Shin]

Just now, now is forever said:

the y was.

and in a sense it’s not because to answer it: you where here all along.

You gotta make sentences that I can understand

[now is forever]

13 minutes ago, Shin said:

You gotta make sentences that I can understand

i‘d love to, but in this case it’s difficult.

i remember the story where you talked to your neighbor - i was sure you had an opened heart chacra then. didn’t you?

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, now is forever said:

i‘d love to, but in this case it’s difficult.

i remember the story where you talked to your neighbor - i was sure you had an opened heart chacra then. didn’t you?

There is lots of "good-will", but there is a point where if I sense that the person is reprocicating, and is very loving, I can't get past it.

And it's not like I close intentionally or flee (even though sometimes I do), it's just that the love isn't coming out.

It's behind a wall and it just can't get out (I can feel it wants to come out).

[now is forever]

@Shin so you need to find a cold as ice bitch to do the job.

[DrewNows]

6 minutes ago, Shin said:

There is lots of "good-will", but there is a point where if I sense that the person is reprocicating, and is very loving, I can't get past it.

And it's not like I close intentionally or flee (even though sometimes I do), it's just that the love isn't coming out.

It's behind a wall and it just can't get out (I can feel it wants to come out).

Weird like you start reacting with conditioning? 

Maybe you have an idea of how love should look and your expression is not going to mirror this so you put up the wall? 

 

@now is forever@Shin pardon my intrusion! 

Edited May 16, 2019 by DrewNows

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Weird like you start reacting with conditioning? 

Maybe you have an idea of how love should look and your expression is not going to mirror this so you put up the wall? 

 

@now is forever@Shin pardon my intrusion! 

I don't know, I'll try to remember that next time.

It's also, if the person is really loving, like really really, it's almost like that person will "debunk" me.

It's super subtil though,

13 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@Shin so you need to find a cold as ice bitch to do the job.

That theory sucks

[DrewNows]

12 minutes ago, Shin said:

it's almost like that person will "debunk" me.

 

Oooh that’s fear right there! Don’t think it isn’t love, but definitely something to observe. 

@now is foreverI just wanted to say you are one of the more parculier individuals on the forum, maybe cuz you’re French.

Most of your posts fly far over my head. It’s almost always inconceivable...like a UFO ? 

thanks for the mind fuckery wake up calls  

mb now is the time to read this journal, cheers

Edited May 16, 2019 by DrewNows

[Shin]

Just now, DrewNows said:

Oooh that’s fear right there! Don’t think it isn’t love, but definitely something to observe. 

@now is foreverI just wanted to say you are one of the more parculier individuals on the forum, maybe cuz you’re French.

Most of your posts fly far over my head. It’s almost always inconceivable...like a UFO ? 

thanks for the mind fuckery wake up calls  

I'm almost always sarcastic, unless there isn't a smiley in the post

Yes it's fear, fear of love, to let it consume me totally.

It's different than fearing to be intimate, I have no problem with that at all,
Or to show affection physically or not.

It's more a metaphysical fear of love, if that make any sense.

[now is forever]

2 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Oooh that’s fear right there! Don’t think it isn’t love, but definitely something to observe. 

@now is foreverI just wanted to say you are one of the more parculier individuals on the forum, maybe cuz you’re French.

Most of your posts fly far over my head. It’s almost always inconceivable...like a UFO ? 

thanks for the mind fuckery wake up calls  

i‘m not french... i‘m german but for a german i‘m quite alienated.

[DrewNows]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

It's more a metaphysical fear of love, if that make any sense

Nope. Not a fan of that woo woo stuff ?

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

i‘m not french... i‘m german but for a german i‘m quite alienated.

Omg I’m embarrassed now. You know I was born in Germany (sadly only lived there a year before going to America) 

“alienated” glad you know what I’m talking about with the  ? 

[now is forever]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

I'm almost always sarcastic, unless there isn't a smiley in the post

Yes it's fear, fear of love, to let it consume me totally.

It's different than fearing to be intimate, I have no problem with that at all,
Or to show affection physically or not.

It's more a metaphysical fear of love, if that make any sense.

so sarcasm and humor is sometimes like a shield isn’t it. it’s your magic to keep people on distance but simultaneously be close, that’s what humor is for. that’s why it’s important.

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

so sarcasm and humor is sometimes like a shield isn’t it. it’s your magic to keep people on distance but simultaneously be close, that’s what humor is for. that’s why it’s important.

Yes it totally is.

But again, I have no problem to be intimate, and that's the paradox  

It's like there is a invisible shield that is formed, and I can't do anything about it myself.

3 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Nope. Not a fan of that woo woo stuff ?

 

So why are you even talking to Now is forever ?

You seen his journal ?

[now is forever]

@DrewNows nothing to be embarrassed about - i like being different, i celebrate it even a little bit. and some people even tell me i‘m so typical german - so maybe both is true 

@Shin no - i guess now i have to.

[Shin]

Just now, now is forever said:

@DrewNows

@Shin no - i guess now i have to.

You have to what ?

[DrewNows]

@Shin maybe you’re fearful of being boring AF 

i don’t sure what metaphysical love is precisely...maybe love for metaphysics  

@now is forever thank you sometimes I feel shame in relation to my own peculiarity (or rather how I see myself, and how I see how others might see me) 

[now is forever]

11 minutes ago, Shin said:

You have to what ?

read his journal.

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

read his journal.

I was talking about your journal  

He says he doesn't like "woo hoo" stuff, but in your journal you have lots of that.