Becoming a Warrior: 5-MEO-DMT Retreat with Octavio Rettig + Martin Ball commentary

[Ar_Senses]

Almost a month ago I've had the Most Important Experience in my life, and here I want to put it all out because I want to be of service to those brave hearts, who entered this interesting and scary path of Truth, share some wisdom from Martin Ball and also I need your opinions and perspectives on what has happened and what it was about.

First, I will show the table of contents, so you understand what will be discussed:

Story itself

1. Who is Arsen and how he gets in
2. Barcelona - Me Casa Es Su Casa
3. The most beautiful people I've ever met
4. Kambo
5. Octavio Rettig - the bravest warrior
6. First session - Screaming Baby (With M.Ball comment)
7. Second Session - Am I Dead? 
8. Third Session - Birth of The Men (With M.Ball comment)

After-effects 

1. Ego strikes back (With M.Ball comment)
2. There is so much work to do

Ending

Questions

 

Story Itself

Who is Arsen and how he gets in

Okay, so I'm 23 y.o. and I'm from Russia, Saint-Petersburg

About 4 years ago I was lucky enough to know about the Leo's channel while searching in the Internet on "how to deal with depression". I was at my first course of getting a degree and life seemed very boring, very stupid and did not make any sense, so I've started to learn about life, going to psychotherapist, reading books and watching Actualized.org videos and meditating.

Years go by, I've improved myself and my despair turns into Curiosity. I was learning more about meditation, enlightenment, have some profound but stupid experience with Nbome (high harm potential), than I was on the Ayahuasca retreat and keep contemplating more about Nature of Reality and working with purification of self from traumas. Because of my ADHD (in Russia doctors know about it even less than an average American) it's hard for me to keep on long run for achieving something, so thats why when I've heard about 5-meo-dmt I become very intrested in working with it - I'm ready to do the steps which are better despite the fact that they are harder. In 2017 Leo leaked on the Blog information about Bufo Alvarius retreat in Barcelona. When I wrote to organisator there already was no room for participation. So the next year, when letter was dropped to my inbox I was excited so much, so I booked a place for myself immediately. I was very determined to go there and my goals were - 1) To realize the True Nature of Everything by my own experience 2) To connect more with my heart, which was really numb.

Barcelona - Me Casa Es Su Casa

For those, who are really interested in participation I want to share some information about environment and atmosphere around the place. The cost of the whole retreat was 550 euro, in that price was included: accommodation in the villa from 12th to 16th of July, three meals a day, Kambo ceremony, smoking toad venom with Octavio Rettig (I've made it 3 times). Villa was located in the Catalonian hills near little town, it's specifically prepared for events like Ayahuasca ceremony, San-Pedro etc. There is no houses around, so nobody can interrupt by accident. The house was big and very cozy, if you are alone you'll live in the common room for other men/women. But there was also a space for couples. Food was simple but very good (and Spanish). Environment was perfect - crickets made their natural trance music all the time, trees and mountains on the horizon was as beautiful as the night sky full of stars which you will never be able to see in a big city.

The most beautiful people I've ever met

The atmosphere was very cozy, the owners of villa - old spanish couple, which were very very kind and funny (they were hippies in the past).

There was 30 people who was participating in the retreat (about 50% women, 50% men) and you can't even imagine how deep I was fulfilled because of the reason that I can have a real-life conversations about life/death/purpose/enlightenment/psychedelics etc. Those were the bravest and the most open people I've met in my life and the whole retreat was bounded with love and compassion to each other. Of course it was possible also because of the atmosphere of retreat and maybe if we've met in the metro or bank queue I'd never feel anything like this. But thats why setting is very important and there it was very good.

I've met about 4 or 5 people who was watching Actualized.org - and those were the youngest ones). I've met a 21 girl from Europe, who already has had an experience with Bufo in the last year and after that she was going non-dual from time to time. Also I've met a guy from British Islands who has got his Life Purpose course done and his experience with 5-meo was very very profound, he has done a great job and it was very satisfying to see that we are not just mental masturabators, who pretend that they are Spiritual or Developed, but really are brave young human beings who are ready to do hard and scary work to become better and know what the fuck this strange Reality is!

Kambo

For me it wasn't feeling very profound. I was doing it for the first time, so it was a little dosage of frog nectar for me. So, I've made a half bucket of my own vomit, let a lot of my shit on the toilet (this one about holding emotions inside). When you do Kambo ceremony the next day is the day, when you feel lighter, more energetic and free. But for me it was very hard to recognize is it working or not. I have hard times feeling my body and sensations which occur (I'm very "in mind" person) and also I was so happy for an opportunity to communicate with so much interesting people, so it felt like even without any medicine I would feel myself very energetic and happy!)

Octavio Rettig - the bravest Warrior

Oh, this one is huge, so I don't even want to go deep. I'll be short: this men touched the darkest bottom of his Ego while have been addicted to crack-cocaine in Mexico and from skinny half-dead junky he turned himself to be the most authentic, inspiring and selfless human being I've ever seen. I recommend you to read his book "The Toad of Dawn" and learn more about him and his work. But you'd better be prepared - he won't crouch with your Ego and expectations about reality and how something should be. If you had a cocaine addiction and came to him for cure, it's not necessary that he will be kind with your Ego. He will be as it is required, because he knows very very well in what kind of shit hole you are.

For me personally Octavio is a hero and an example of Man, who is not domesticated by collective Ego. It does not mean that he is cruel or harsh, quite the opposite. It feels like Universe is going through him without any filters and for those, who are used to politically correct media entertainment he can be shocking a little, so you better prepare yourself.

P.s. Dr. Rettig has more than 8000 ceremonies in his practice, but It is true, that he has lethal cases in his experience: 3 people died while participating in the ceremony. 2 old men by some heart issue and one 26 years old women, whose cause of death is unknown to me.  For 8000 - 3 people is a very little statistic, I guess more people die from skiing. So if you decide to participate you better know your health situation and know, that is not a fucking joke.

Go see some videos about him and his work: VICE Documentary about Bufo Alvarius

First Session - Screaming Baby

After the first breath, I remember just how much everything was before my eyes turned into a bunch of "pixels" that broke visible reality into thousands of energy circles. My whole body began to dissolve in infinity. There was only breathing and singing Octavio.

The energy was very very overwhelming for this unprepared mind and body

I remember how I was found myself lying down and screaming as loudly as it was possible. As I unwillingly shouted and tore the grass under my hands, and Octavio sang next to me and seemed to help me. My scream reminded me of myself.

When I came back conscious, I laid on my back and sat on me, speaking English: "Welcome brother, welcome." I looked at him and my heart was full of self-pity, I felt tears in my eyes and took his hand.

People gathered around me because of my scream, I looked around trying to understand what exactly happened. Octavio gathered people into a common circle and began to say gratitude to the earth, God and sun, and then to sing and jump.

I looked around and tried to understand what had happened. My knees shook and tears streamed down my cheeks.

P.s. When I come back to Russia I had questions which I've asked Martin Ball about some issues and reactions which had happened with me. Here are some of his answers on my screaming:

Quote

Martin Ball: "So, screaming: this is a very common reaction. Keep in mind that via the ego, most of us (especially men), don’t really fully embody our true energy, so when we take 5 and the control systems are transcended, big energy tends to come out. This is very common in early experiences with 5. As you get more accustomed to your genuine energy, you’re able to embody it more naturally and smoothly, and these big explosions and screaming and talking in a booming voice tend to die down over time as you recalibrate to your true nature."

Second Session - Am I Dead?

Surprisingly, almost all the times when I came to my senses after trips I felt the need to attract attention and hoped that something extraordinary had happened to me. This is some strange game of the Ego, which I still do not understand.

I completely do not remember what happened during the trip, but I remember when I started coming back, that the atmosphere around me seemed very restless. I had false memories of Octavio hanging over me with a worried look, I heard someone beside him nauseating and vomiting, Octavio spoke Spanish, and I thought he was worried. In the window the organizer was talking to someone on the street.

It seemed to me that everything went downhill. It seemed that I was dead and that's why people around are worried. I could not believe it, but at the same time I felt embarrassed and regretted that it happened. "Did I really die? That sucks." I tried to get up from the grass and see if my body remains on the ground. Fortunately, everything was in order.

A beautiful girl (assistant) came up to me and I told her that I was worried and thought that I was dead. She said that I lay still and looked peaceful. It turned out that in reality nothing extraordinary happened or disturbed. It just "seemed" like that for me. Later, when I approached Octavio and said "I thought I was dead," he said "Next time we'll kill you for sure".

Third Session - Birth Of The Man

For the third time, I inhaled the smoke of the substance and held it in my lungs. I looked straight ahead and tried to keep awareness. The grass, the horizon in front of me and the celestial vault again turned into "pixels." I can not track the time between when I was "cut down". But the video shows that I started screaming and rolling on the ground even more intensively than in the previous times. I grabbed my face and cried with all my might, it seemed to me that it was necessary to shout. It was so intense that at some point it seemed to me that from crying my head would burst in two, starting from the mouth. Several people took my hands and feet to move away from people who were sitting in the shade.

Then, as the video shows, I was blown into the nose of "Rapé", first into one nostril, then to the other. I paused and in half a minute Octavio pulled me up so that I would rise to my feet.

I stood opposite to him and held my hands to his shoulders. After a few seconds I began to make growling sounds and said, looking into his eyes: "You fucking made it!", And then "You are warrior!" And grabbed him by the hair. Octavio shouted and asked me to let go, but I did not. Several men came to the rescue. Octavio got out of my grip, and I teased and rambled incoherently. When Rodrigo helped Octavio break free from my hands, I turned my attention to him and began to tell him "I love you so much", "Let me kiss you!", "Do you find me sexy?". When I said these phrases I feel a sense of playfulness and insane self-confidence, as well as satisfaction. It was not a flirtation (I guess), it was a celebration of life in a healthy male young body. I was happy and showed everyone around that I'm alive and free, I love myself, life and the whole world!

Then I, enjoying the feeling of free energy and excitement and ecstasy from life, began to say "I love myself!" "I'm a beast!". I felt myself as if my entire body was free and spoke with sensations "Finally! At last everything is as it should have always been! ". I showed everyone around, to my friends who knew the Truth to a greater or lesser extent, that I'm free and happy. I felt and showed that life is the triumph of itself in all manifestations and we can only love, enjoy and express ourselves to the full, because everything is PERFECT in itself and nothing matters.

P.s. Here I also have a commentary from Martin Ball

Quote

Martin Ball: "Sexuality and sexual energy is a HUGE part of this process, and it arises in different ways with men and women and the medicine. At times, when it’s a male client and a male facilitator, things can get tense as many men will try and “compete” or “stand up” to the facilitator, and sometimes clients even attack the provider - it’s happened to me! Many men don’t know what to do with themselves when their full masculine energy rises up, so it gets displaced by displaying, screaming, or becoming very sexual or even violent. These are all natural reactions the opening and recalibration".

After Effects

Ego strikes back

So before plane has even touched mother Russia's ground, I was back to my weak-willed behaviour. Our last night in spain was in Barcelona so we went to a McDonalds , I've made some sandwiches with baloney and cheese etc. It's hard for me to keep a clean diet (I guess because of weak vision). When I was back to Russia the first couple of days was kinda normal. I met my friends, told them about my experience, even made a lot of notes about it. But without any doubts I was aware that I have not a fucking clue about what should I do with my life. I was anxious and knew that I've got commitments on a job which I must follow, but wasn't able to push myself and for a couple of weeks my After-life was about watching youtube and porn, reading books (cause I didn't have a problem with doing something that I love), eating unhealthy food and feeling myself not very good.

Also I've bought the Life Purpose course almost a year ago and couple month ago, almost at the end of it, I've started to procrastinate on it very badly. I was aware that my problem revolves around lack of vision and purpose. And as I understand it - enlightenment is something that is hard to make the purpose itself. Purpose is more about impact on the world. But even I was aware, I didn't have strength to work with the course.

But after the retreat I realized that beating and judging yourself is never an option. Love is really the answer, you can think about it like the gasoline, which needed to run the engine. The less love you have, the less strengths and ability to do something good you also have.

When I've reached the point of apathy, which made me too worried (cause I really started to behave in the direction of loosing job) I also asked Martin Ball about that issue, and here what he's answer was:

Quote

Martin Ball: "This is very common, and one of the reasons I recommend that people have lots of time and space to process their experiences and the aftereffects. In Entheogenic Liberation, I call it “swinging the other way, post-session,” in that many people suddenly find that previous activities that gave them meaning and purpose no longer do so, and it’s very common that people who were very active suddenly just find themselves needing to rest, for example.

Basically, what’s important is that you allow yourself to be authentic with what and how you feel, to the best of your ability, without judgement of yourself. This can be very difficult when you do have a job to go to, but you just want to stay home. It’s important not to indulge, but it is also equally important to be honest with yourself and not push yourself to be something other than what you are, in the current moment.

Power 5 experiences can inspire radical life changes. Relationships break apart. Jobs lose their attraction. Old identities fall away. It can be quite the unravelling process. I was fortunate that when I first started working with 5 I didn’t have steady work, had left my wife and family so didn’t have daily domestic duties, and was basically free-falling through reality. While it was scary and disorienting at the time, it provided me with the context I needed to really deconstruct all my ideas and patterns of the self. Most people don’t have that luxury.

So, you’ll need to find the authentic balance between what you feel you need to do, and what your social responsibilities are. There are always consequences for working with this medicine, and some of them are more difficult and challenging than others. Always remember that this is a process of learning how to really love yourself and be authentic with your embodied energy without judgement or expectation. The more you can relax into that, the easier it will be."

 

Yeah, so I tried to not hate myself and abuse with negative thinking and try to let everything go until something will happen by itself. My relatives asked me to live in their countryside apartments with cats and a dog, while they have a vacation. So I went there and first couple of days I wasn't doing anything except drinking coffee and racing in GTA Online. And what I find very nice - I was really having fun while playing. Really! I was laughing, while sitting alone because of excitement of races! I really started to feel something new inside my heart)

At some point, I even had a bad conversation with my boss, after which she said that I no longer need to come to work! I was very frustrated with my job, because I lost any sense of how is my job connected to my heart and generating love and fulfillment. And you need to understand, after I came back from retreat the option of me dying or going broke or getting fired was not scary for me as much. Because I testified by myself, not by Leo's or someone else video, books or articles - I'm THE FUCKING NOTHINGNESS! I am the NUCLEAR REACTOR which always on the half-life! I am THE MOST UNEXPECTED BY ANY MIND! I AM THE MOST LOVING CHILD AND THE MOST PERVERTED PEDOPHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY!

So do you really think I was bothered about the perspective of becoming broke or fired? No, not really.

There is so much work to do

But I was aware, that every game has its own rules. And now, when I become aware of the game very well It becomes even harder to do some stupid nonsense, which I don't love. And this makes me even more responsible. So I realized it and become very determined to finish my course. I've made all the remaining exercises and now I have my Life Purpose in the one concrete sentence and I have a vision which become more solid every day.

Now my goal is to embody my Purpose - understanding as deep as possible Spiral Dynamics, Mysticism and Spirituality, purify myself, move to Netherlands, become a consultant and become great, because I really want to love myself, without intimidation. At that point of my Journey I find hard to understand the nondual nature of everything to the point, where I can do some stupid work and still enjoying being.

P.s. After I've become aware of my Life Purpose and Vision it have become much easier to do stupid job for paying my bills, because I understand that it's a tool for sometheng bigger. I was searching for the Purpose, without it any job seems shitty. Now I'm doing it from the place of Love, not from worries, anxiety and fear. Here is something what Martin said about Love and Being:

Quote

Martin Ball: "For me, love, truth, reality, being, God, energy, are all synonyms - all ways of ultimately saying the same thing.  So to really experience love is to authentically experience all of these things. 

Loving yourself is equivalent to loving God, loving reality. Since God is all of reality, it does not judge, reject, hate, or fear any part of itself. The human heart and ego loves conditionally, and holds fear and judgement. The ego sets up conditions for love and being, and alternatively lets the heart open, and also closes it off and protects it. The universally loving heart is always open, seeing the beauty and divinity in all things, even things that seem ugly, fearful, etc.

So to love yourself means to keep your heart open without judgement, attachment, or expectation. It means to commit yourself to being true to yourself and how you really feel in any moment, regardless of what your mind is telling you or expecting of you. It means to live in radical freedom and acceptance."

 

And a little bit about surrender:

Quote

Martin Ball: "To “let go” means that you can relax, trust, and allow reality to unfold without trying to control it, achieve anything, be anything, and just be with what is, as it presents itself. The less you try, the more you can just be present and be authentic".

 

Ending

That was a very big one, but after I went to the retreat where were so many people, who can share my pain and my joy, I'm starting to really appreciate the importance of Unity and Friendship. I want to feel a bound with those of you, who went through these trials and tribulation.

I want to say, that I am not 100% sure in any of what I've said. I'm really not sure that I get even 5% of my experience right and am not a deluded mothefucker with very slippery mind. Thank you very much for attention and now I dare to ask even more. Please, help me understand myself more and where I'm at. I will ask some of questions that occur, but I'm also waiting your honest comments and maybe even debunking of my thoughts and insights.

Also thank Leo very much for his work, I think I could probably have killed myself in the past, if not having had such a great tool for growth.

If anybody wants to communicate with me/ask about anything/participate in the next Retreat etc - You are very very welcome to my inbox

P.s. Sorry for my English, I'm not aware where exactly I have a mistakes, so it's hard to fix it)

Questions

Based on the text you read, where do you think I'm on the spiral dynamics?

Based on the text you read, where do you think I was and am on the Hero's Journey?

What do you think I really missed?

Where do you think I really delude myself?

What you feel or think about everything or something that you read?

What conclusions did you draw after reading?

Based on the text you read how you will characterized me in one sentence?

Do you have any advice for me? Why you think it can help growth or realize myself?

 

Edited August 15, 2018 by Ar_Senses

[Maycol]

Thank you very much for sharing your experience. 

[Ar_Senses]

Insights

I'm am the God

Peter Ralston author of these metaphor, which I heard from Leo. It perfectly fits in:

Imagine a cube of sand, in which each side expands into all dimensions indefinitely. Inside this cube of sand, there are potentially all kinds of shapes that you can imagine at the same time. And I'm that cube, and besides me there's nothing. And all that is is the potential figures in the cube that exist simultaneously. God is all that exists. There is no past, no present.

Truth is fucking scary

When you inhale the medicine and all the reality before you turns into spheres of energy stretched to infinity, and the noise of cicadas turns out to be you and turns into an echo that sounds endlessly ... When you feel that your body is split into this energy and you breathe yourself into yourself, feeling no more body or lungs ... This is an insanity, a great revelation, which is very difficult to accept for the small hologram "Arsen". I felt fear and felt the inability to understand all this with my mind, I was torn by the greatness of Truth.

But I know that God is not terrible, I believe that God is Love and Peace, I'm afraid only because I'm too attached to myself and this "reality", my body and mind were not ready for experience, and past injuries and the feeling of fear prevented seeing the Truth entirely and without fear. But everything is perfect and goes on as usual.

There was so much pain inside

I remember how regularly I felt the heaviness in the heart in my past. I remember how my friend psychologist, while he was on MDMA, told me that I carry a lot of pain inside. I remember how some traditional facilitator told me that I hold a claim inside myself either to my mother or to the world.

When I first inhaled Bufo's smoke, I plunged into a state that I can not remember. But I remember exactly what I felt when I shouted to the top of my lungs: my body freed itself from all the anger, hatred, resentment and bitterness that I had accumulated in my whole life. It was a pain that began right at the time of birth, once stuck energy created a "jam" in the harmonious circulation of the entire flow.

I screamed as much as I could. I breathed a cry, I released freedom of pain and confusion, dislike and hatred. They came out of me with a liberating, sincere and piercing cry.

P.s. Listen with opened mind this song from 10:25 till at least 11:40 and you can really feel what I felt:

There is no death

Whatever you or I think, it is not important. There is only God and he is everything. Death is an inaccurate name for the change that occurs with energy. Yes, Arsen will die, but what created Arsen, then what it consists of and what remains after it - God. He is forever. He was not and will not be, because He is all that exists. And He is all this at the same time. He is a father and mother, a murderer and a victim, love and hate, an angel and a demon. He is an infinite perfection, which is so great that a little man who thinks that he is a separate piece in all this, as it seems to him, is a mess, is scared to the death. I'm not a body, I'm not a spirit, I'm not thinking, I AM AN INFINITE ABSOLUTE EVERYTHING.

Feel your body

The body is the vessel of God. It exists to be and to manifest through itself playfulness, happiness, creativity, love and all that is possible. The body is a suit that needs to be worn with love and pleasure. You can not participate in the race of Formula 1 on the wrecked car with the wheels down. If you want to experience a deep states and pass through a high flow of energy, you will have to prepare the body for this - to practice Kriya, Meditation, Sports, Dancing and other relaxing and liberating practices.

All we need is Love (and Trust)

Love and trust are what makes us better and closer to our true nature. This is the basis of a happy and easy life. Love is a compass that indicates that you are moving in the right direction. The more love - the better life. Trust is the basis of growth and love. Without trust and vulnerability, one can not discover the highest truth and feel good and happiness. The more confidence in yourself, the world, people, the more love, and therefore happiness.

The Purpose of Live is to Be

The Great and the Unnamed exists forever now. There is nothing except him and it is always there, manifesting itself in all possible forms. Perhaps because it can. Perhaps because it's fun. Life lives by itself and enjoys the tales that it tells. To be is the only thing that is true. The rest comes up with the mind, but it is not forbidden. If you love what you thought up and are happy pursuing it - then please, enjoy it! Nothing is important and everything is possible.

5-meo-dmt is not a magic pill

Octavio used Bufo throughout the year to clear himself of all that shit he had accumulated over the years of ignorant life, full of toxic drugs and unhealthy behavior. Bufo can show you the truth, can help pull it out and free you from the stagnant energy that prevents you from living and being happy, but you will have to work hard and hard. Bufo is a very effective tool, but more important than that is the desire to be happy and live according to the truth, whatever it is.

Being authentic is very pleasant

I really enjoyed that moment of becoming a sexual frivolous macho, who was suppressed for so long. Imagine - I'm tall, naturally muscular guy with southern roots, big dick and much love to dirty intimate sex with beautiful girls, but the most of my life I behave like a not very confident funny smart guy, which never express his true energy. Being "good" for everybody is not about happiness.

You can't recognize God, you can only be Him

It's kinda obvious. God - is every form that can exist, He is the source of them, so if you are trying to understand God it equals to attempts to put Him in some form.

Hide-and-seek - God's favorite game

God plays hide and seek with himself, each of us is him, but is in the illusion that this is not so. This is not so, God is everything, but we are experiencing only one of endless illusions. Quite interesting is the fact that children from the smallest age like to play hide-and-seek and find it very funny and cheerful. Surprisingly, you do not need to explain them rules, they understand those intuitively.

It's happening because it's fun

Why does all this happen? I don't know. But, perhaps, because it gives pleasure to God. It can be fun and exciting. We are used to complicate things and change our minds about obvious things, but maybe everything is really that simple. Just For Fun.

Stories - why we love it so much?

God is the basis of everything, the source and substance. Pay attention to how important spirals and fractals are in life. Fractals can be found in plants, animals, sky and water, earth and minerals, space and eyes, music and children of their parents. What is peculiar to God becomes characteristic of his creations.

And now pay attention to how much people love stories: people watch films, serials, read books, gossip, tell each other news, retell the children's tales and play video games.

God is all that exists, and so no one dies, no one suffers, and no one is happy except him. It's all just an endless number of movies, which He enjoys with great pleasure. Perhaps, because of this, we, in His image and likeness, like to watch good movies so much?

If the story becomes a mess - God remembers himself

What happens if a person dies? Let's suppose that consciousness will wake up and remember: "Oh yes! It's not me, I am Everything! ". Why does consciousness awaken after death? Because it has nothing more to associate with and it comes back to himself. But can it be done so that the consciousness awakens from the illusion and the body remains alive? I guess, the answer is "Yes"!

First, if I get it correctly, 5-meo-dmt does this. It's like if you were very passionate about playing a video game. With such zeal and immersion that for some time forgot that you are John Smith and you need to do some things for today. You play, you go through the mission, you worry that you can not get through the level, etc. You look at the screen, but you feel inside the game world. Suddenly the electricity in the house turns off and you like the flash of light "return to yourself." You're not even surprised to be very keen. Just get up and go to check electricity to play more or go do something else.

Secondly, you can begin to disassemble the world in which you are on the detail, so meticulously and so deeply that at some point it will be impossible to deny the true nature of what is happening. Big Picture Understanding.

I went through Universal Initiation process from boy to Warrior

The tradition of initiation from a young man to a man (warrior) exists almost as long ago as the man himself. In South America and Africa, in some tribes today natural plants are used to make the youth experience transcendental states and understand the deep nature of all existence. After this happened to a boy, he understands: "My body is the machine of God. Life is eternity. God is everything. The meaning of life is to live." After that, he returns to the "real" world and lives, survives, struggles for existence and realizes himself.

[Ar_Senses]

@Maycol my pleasure. What your thoughts about it?

[Maycol]

@Ar_Senses I don't really have any thoughts about it, Arsen. I enjoy reading your experience and insights.

As with any intense and profound experience, the integration into daily life is what makes a difference in this human story. I'm more curious and interested in learning how you evolve and your life unfold, based on this experience that not many people are privileged to have in their lifetime.

From my personal experience, the toughest thing I've done was Ayahuasca in Peru in 2015. I'm still integrating and learning lessons from those ceremonies. I feel I'm ready now for 5MEO, but haven't had the good fortune to find a source yet. I'll be patient and trust that I'll have the experience when the timing is right.

Please continue sharing your insights. I enjoy reading them.

[Leo Gura]

@Ar_Senses Great report!

Glad some folks here are willing to put in the work to get the results.

[DoubleYou]

Man, that sounds intense. Yet also very exciting. 

Thanks for sharing. ??

[Lynnel]

@Ar_Senses  Quick question, how come you have access to Martin Ball personally ?

[Ar_Senses]

@Lynnel just asked him on his Instagram to help with understanding of some issues.

[Ar_Senses]

@Leo Gura Of course, last year you going so hard and deep. I really feel that I need to work hard simply for understanding your content! ?

Episodes like “What is God” and “Leo Hits Rock Bottom” are very inspiring.

Based on text, do you have any thoughts or advice?

[peanutspathtotruth]

Wow this was so interesting to read, thank you so much for sharing. You made a very important and brave step and some of the insights show me that this is already paying off. Of course as was already said, integration is key. You specifically asked some questions but I can't really answer them for you. You're on the right path. Go on and stick to truth and you will get there. Much love my friend.

[Ar_Senses]

@peanutspathtotruth Thank you for warm words, bro!

[cirkussmile]

Haha wow! That really got you going

 

[Empty]

@Ar_Senses Thanks for sharing, man  

 

You motivated us to do the same in the future, God willing 

[Ar_Senses]

@Outer You can't even imagine how much satisfaction I get from your words!

Finally I've made something really really true, authentic and meaningful for my higher self, which is become beneficial for someone else!) 

Thank you! 

[Ar_Senses]

@Empty Thank you!)

See you in Barcelona in the next year?)

[MrDmitriiV]

On 8/14/2018 at 0:33 AM, Ar_Senses said:

Based on the text you read, where do you think I'm on the spiral dynamics?

I would say very strong stage Green, because:

1. Stage Yellow or Torquise have no problem identifying themselves on the spiral.

2. You display lots of need to be inside a community/group of people. 

3. Stage Yellow talks/writes considerably less. Yellow talks in a more distilled manner.

4. You shared a Vice documentary (Vice=stage Green).

5. You found enjoyment when you got into a group of clearly stage Green individuals, (I read your other retreat).

6. A stage Yellow would do psychedelic retreats SOLO to keep the external distractions/noise to the minimum. 

 

[Ar_Senses]

@MrDmitriiV Cool! Now I'm reading Don Beck's "Spiral Dynamics" and becoming more familiar with the whole spiral. But your clues are very clear! Thank you!)

[Lynnel]

@Ar_Senses  Thanks it was an amazing read. I'm glad you got so much out of it.

I'll definitely consider doing such a retreat in the future. Is it only happening in the summer ? Does Octav have a website or something of the sort ?

[Ar_Senses]

@Lynnel Thanks!

There will be a retreat in October. Same place, same organization. You can ask me a contacts in private.

Idk about Octavio’s schedule, you can find his page in the Facebook and yeah, he has a webpage