I Have Pretty SEVERE Social Anxiety

[The Don]

I'm always nervous around people I don't know & I sometimes get the feeling I can't even talk properly with friends.

Sometimes when I feel I said something stupid I get really self-conscious. I start thinking about how I always end up saying something stupid and don't pay attention to the conversation and start being silent and awkward again. This is pretty much my social life.

I've never had a girlfriend either...

I've heard from a friend who often trips that another friend of his cured his social anxiety by tripping. So I started researching and found a lot of forum posts about this, but no real good information.

Do you know anything about this? Any personal experience?

[Colin]

https://bebrainfit.com/social-anxiety/

[Colin]

 

[NoSelfSelf]

Stop looking what will happen etc and start being in the present

[Salvijus]

Inner engineering program. Took me to a much higher levels of stability, balance etc. Social anxiety dropped phenomenally. Only in certain very intense situations it comes, like job interviews etc. But still it's much less then it was before. If I continue with the practice even that will go away.

I have a theory that strong determination sits can help. But that is untested idea for me only. But shambhavi really works 100% i promise with my life.

Edited August 13, 2018 by Salvijus

[sleeperstakes]

Exposure therapy. Define your social goals, and create a fear ladder from 1-100, 100 being your worst fear and 1 being the smallest possible step you can take in the right direction towards your goal. Add as many steps as you can. Then, set up a schedule and go do it. 

If you need some guidance there are plenty of resources out there If you know where to look. The goodlookingloser has a great free social anxiety program, give it a try. 

Take the cognitive behavioural therapy course on the great courses plus/audible, it does wonders too. 

Fix your diet, exercise more and lastly try the wim-hof method/ Leo's shamanic breathing method followed by an ice bath. 

As someone who has been/is in exactly the same situation as me, these are the things that help.

Hope that helps @The Don

[Rinne]

@The Don I been there bro. What it took for me was just facing my fears straight on. Start a mindfulness meditation practice, this should help a lot you might not see immediate results but trust in the long term benefits.

More than likely if your severly anxious the area around your stomach is always contracted. Swallow and short breathes arent good in getting over anxiety. Expand you belly outwards when you breathe, allow yourself to relax. 

One thing that i found out in dealing with my anxiety is that its mainly self-created "getting anxious about being anxious making you more anxious."

Hope this helps.

Edited August 14, 2018 by Rinne

[SgtPepper]

Tripping does help. with anxiety in general. 

Id say the problem is you are so concerned about upholding an image of yourself in your mind especially in relation to others. You gotta not give a fuck and just fully accept yourself and all of your quirks. Everyone has them dude. People find authentic personalities attractive, so just be yourself, but also be present so that you can feel the situation. 

[2018]

Hey,

 

Social anxiety sucks. It can be something that is somewhat complicated and is an issue that can be definitely overcome with a bit of time and effort. You can start by paying attention to the thoughts you are having and learning how to substitute negative thoughts (ie. I'm uncool, I'm ugly, I'm not good enough) with replacing them with more positive ones (I'm a great person, people like me, I will succeed) It can be tuff when you are single without a girlfriend but think of it like this, when you start to realize how fast you can begin to work on yourself, you will have unlimited chances to find a beautiful girlfriend, but this is much more easier to do when your anxiety is under control and is not bothering you. Please understand that what you are going through is something that many have also gone through too and that if you decide to take action you will most definitely rise over this very upsetting and frustrating situation. Try talking to your family Doctor he or she is very familiar on how they can help. Google and Research (CBT) Cognitive Behaviour Therapy it's used to treat social anxiety among other things.

 

Hope this helps!

[Gabriel Antonio]

Dude, psychedelics can help A LOT with social anxiety. You just gotta do them properly. 

 

[AnthonyR]

Ask yourself: is it really the fear of being around people? Or the fact that you have no idea what to talk about when you are around people.  Go deeper than that and find the root cause of the overall social issue you’re dealing with.  

Perhaps read the news, so you have something to talk about.  Find a subject that interest you and read and learn everything you can on that subject.  Reading and learning is one way to expand your brain, but so is networking with people.  But don’t let the “Networking” word scare you.  It’s just a matter of finding some commonality on a subject or topic that interest both of you and then simply talking about it.  

On the other hand even being a listener is sufficient, you don’t always have to say something.  But you can seem interested in what the person is saying by showing interest and listening.  By listening you are also learning, and if you agree with what the person is saying you can thank them for their insight, their company and their ideas, and perhaps store that knowledge at the back of your mind as something you can perhaps talk about with someone else.

[denydritz]

Hi @The Don I recently read an article that says we overestimate how much other people pay attention to us. The experiment was for someone to wear an embarrassing shirt and walk into an office. The person thought at least half of the room would notice the shirt, but it turns out less than a quarter noticed it.

When you feel self-conscious, think that other people are self-conscious too. They pay attention, but they don't pay that much attention (not as much as we think or like). I had a friend who did an experiment: he didn't shower, didn't comb his hair, wore worn out clothes, went to a mall and chatted up random girls, and none of the girls noticed his 'messiness'.

I have disabled friends that can't speak right (they are deaf and can only mumble). But as long as they feel good about themselves, I notice other people feel good around them. So it could be that feeling self-conscious is an over reaction based on over expectation, a result of misunderstanding our environment, and missing the fact that other people are too distracted with their own thoughts to really notice anything weird about us.

Cheers.

[Staples]

@The Don Be conscious about how you feel when you get anxious. I still get social anxiety a fair bit, but I used to be WAY WORSE. 

Most people I've talked to feel anxiety differently, some feel it in their throat. Sometimes they can't stop their hands from shaking. Personally, I fidget. I incessantly fidget. I scratch my nose, adjust my posture, it's horribly obvious. I also feel the need to shit, really bad. Especially in the lead-up to the event, but once I'm there it goes away. 

If you can identify exactly how you feel, that will help a lot. 

Next, don't shy away from situations where you would feel anxious. You need to confront them with awareness, and the intention to alleviate the symptoms. That's what works for me at least. Hope it helps.