Typical People Are Here To Serve Special And Non Typical People

[Sashaj]

@Cortex @StardewValley Did you become more aware of this over time? Did you get awareness through practice?

[StardewValley]

@Sashaj I've always been pretty aware, so I can't answer this question. I'm nineteen and I've been referring to certain people in my life as my "victims" since I was fourteen. 

[Sashaj]

5 minutes ago, StardewValley said:

@Sashaj I've always been pretty aware, so I can't answer this question. I'm nineteen and I've been referring to certain people in my life as my "victims" since I was fourteen. 

Are you looking for victims or supply people in this forum?

[StardewValley]

@Sashaj Not here. I'm here to feel like I'm not alone, since the people here are on my level of thinking and above, whereas the common people in the street are generally not as advanced as I am (or would like to think). Usually I look to the opposite sex for my supply; I pick one girl and she controls my mood for a few months to a few years. If she is attracted to me then I can do anything. If she is rejecting me then I become depressed. This is a cycle that I've had ever since I was fourteen, and it usually ends in my scaring them away, being angry at them for leaving, and eventually finding a new one. 

Edited August 13, 2018 by StardewValley
grammar

[Sashaj]

So it seems like this narcissistic persona is like an exaggerated version of normal human behaviour 

[Cortex]

StardewValley, Sam Vankin talks about it greatly, about our lack of Ego, you see when you talk about this with ordinary folks they cannot grasp this because they have never experienced it, and it's literally impossible for them to experience this, so they literally think that it's something that can be healed or something, but that's literally the dogma of people on this forum, they cannot grasp the fact that someone can be wired differently, but if someone is narcissistic from nature like I am for example then even our physiological responses are different, our Ego just doesn't develops and our body is in a sense made for Narcissism, Our Ego doesn't develops there is no Ego, it's like having dissociative identity disorder without amnesia and in a little bit different form,maybe secondary narcissists can be healed, but secondary narcissism isn't really a narcississm, the truth narcissist have no Ego, but cmon man, you clearly don't expect the people who are dogmatic in their way of looking at narcississm to accept the fact that it cannot be fixed, they literally believe that if they say something towards individual without ego who is this way from being 4 year old,just from birth, that it will somehow change our physiological responses and develop a real ego :D, it's literally like the M.C asher painting, I would say that if person who doesn't have it should think about it like dissociative identity disorder, or schizophrenia, or even enlightenment because it's very very far from their ability to comprehend and understand what it really is, just like the Leo likes to say- we are not so far away from dark ages, and you can even see in a way that I use my vocabulary that it's more like a Leo vocabulary, what do you think is the reason for this

[Consept]

@Cortex so what is it you want from the forum? Do you want your 'supply' from people here, like everyone to recognise how great you are? Or are you posting how you are because you think people won't get it and you can reassert that you are how you are and no one can change it? 

Genuine question

[Cortex]

Consept, I think I am here for my phylosophical side, I really like this type of stuff from actualized.org, plus I am here to learn more about human psychology, and when I am listening to Leo I can see myself in him and then as you can see I am even using the same kind of speech patterns on this forum as Leo does, even when I meditate I see myself as being a Leo or I've also use image of some Buddhist Monk or sometimes I identify myself with Eckhart Tolle, so I guess that my identity for this psychological and phylosophical stuff is Leo, so when I talk with someone about psychology or phylosophy Leo starts to emarge and I am literally seeing myself as him having a conversation, and for other stuff I have different identities but all of them serve my imaginery self, and it so happens that the aspect of this self likes psychology and phylosophy, so there you go I've just gave you pretty clear and brought explanation 

Edited August 13, 2018 by Cortex
Psychology And Phylosophy is really interesting

[Consept]

@Cortex

6 minutes ago, Cortex said:

Consept, I think I am here for my phylosophical side, I really like this type of stuff from actualized.org, plus I am here to learn more about human psychology, and when I am listening to Leo I can see myself in him and then as you can see I am even using the same kind of speech patterns on this forum as Leo does, even when I meditate I see myself as being a Leo or I've also use image of some Buddhist Monk or sometimes I identify myself with Eckhart Tolle, so I guess that my identity for this psychological and phylosophical stuff is Leo, so when I talk with someone about psychology or phylosophy Leo starts to emarge and I am literally seeing myself as him having a conversation, and for other stuff I have different identities but all of them serve my imaginery self, and it so happens that the aspect of this self likes psychology and phylosophy, so there you go I've just gave you pretty clear and brought explanation 

Ok cos honestly I don't get anything of Eckhart Tolle or even Leo from you, it's specifically because you sound nothing like them that I even asked the question. Having said that if you believe that you are like them and at their core they are teachers, is that what you want to do here, are you teaching? I appreciate your honesty 

[supremeyingyang]

@Cortex

...you seem to have the mindset to be a mainstream celebrity!

 

This is not a compliment.

[Sashaj]

@supremeyingyang that’s a bit mean

[Cortex]

I don't identify in this sense with them, if I have a psychological of phylosophical conversation I've literally see myself as them and use all of my knowledge from this identities to have a conversation, for example when I read I have a picture of myself as reading da Vinci, I've only identify with my imaginery identity when I accomplish something really big, then I feel so much rush of megalomania that you can't have it without some substances

Edited August 13, 2018 by Cortex
Megalomania

[Cortex]

Like I've said it it so complicated that it's impossible for people without it to understand it and we can only come to that conclusion, so again that's all that I have to say about it, the goal of this topic was not to talk about it but to share my funny story and goal for this year, so wish me luck 

[Consept]

Good luck, hope you get what you want, give us an update in a year 

[Joseph Maynor]

11 hours ago, ajasatya said:

the way that we treat others is a reflection of the way we treat ourselves.

Very profound.

Edited August 13, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[supremeyingyang]

1 hour ago, Sashaj said:

@supremeyingyang that’s a bit mean

I didn't posted it to insult him.

@Feel Good

What if some are aware of it but discuss anyway on a lower stage? Now everyone seems to be such an expert in spiral dynamics. I mean in general. I think you are damn right, @Feel Good. But Honestly. Think about the dynamic. "Oh, so you do activities that I interpret as low conscious, means you're on a stage below X. Stop what you do to achieve a higher stage". Again. I think you can't solve a problem on a higher stage as it is. I would like to discuss that further with you in pm by the way.

@Cortex

Good luck.

Edited August 13, 2018 by supremeyingyang

[Sashaj]

@supremeyingyang all good mate

[StardewValley]

@Cortex Yes I have read some pages of Sam Vankin's website before. It's nice to know that somebody knows how my mind works so intimately. I have hope for a better tomorrow though. I believe in miracles where brains are changed. 

I recommend the book The Science of Success by Wallace Wattles. I haven't put what it says to the test, but my intuition tells me that this book is a gold mine.

Edited August 13, 2018 by StardewValley
book recommendation

[now is forever]

@Cortex are you sure you are a narcissist? narcissists tend to have a huge ego and no self esteem. that’s a difference...

they usually misinterprete their ego for self esteem. 

or do you have really no ego? and only self esteem?

or do you have no ego and no self esteem?

is this triggering you?

Edited August 18, 2018 by now is forever

[martin_malin]

If you ever do a large dose of psychadelics, I would pay to read your trip report. I'm serious.