It makes no sense to earn money/make a living

[Leo Gura]

On 8/12/2018 at 2:37 AM, non_nothing said:

@Leo Gura I remember you quit game design which was your dream, so once you've believed that was your purpose, was it? So what or when was the point so clear that made you have it distinct on your path?

It was my passion and purpose for many many years.

Then when I actually started doing it, I saw that it didn't quite suit me. I had a thirst for something deeper. Game development is fun and very interesting (and I'm still passionate about it to some extent), but I needed something deeper. Which turned into my quest for metaphysical understanding, self-actualization, and enlightenment.

Life purpose evolves. It never starts out clear and perfect. You start with your best guess, you pursue it, and then you adjust on the fly. Sometimes large adjustments are needed, like quitting your entire career. Which is what I did. Twice!

[astrokeen]

On 8/11/2018 at 3:29 PM, non_nothing said:

@ajasatya It's not huge debt but still would equivalent of my half of salary. 

I have no idea what I want to offer to the world. I have computer scientist skills, musician skills, doing some digital music too but I don't really sure whether these all I should put myself to make a living. It's kind of hard to explain what's going on inside my head.

You sound depressed not enlightened.

You don't have an emotional engagement with the world - nothing that makes your heart beater faster and makes you keenly interested, no passion that you want to explore or accomplish. Your world is limited to your life and work. In order to find out what you want to do for the world, you need to know more about the world - its thinkers, its failures and crisis, of which there are plenty. Find a cause to support which engages you emotionally. Start reading! Read left leaning newspapers and magazines. If the big crisis, such as climate change, don't interest you, find something locally which engages you and you could get involved in. 

Edited August 22, 2018 by astrokeen

[non_nothing]

I thought I'd give some feedback to this thread.

After reading couple of you guys' responses, I started my own YouTube channel where I put my music work there.

It's been a week or so. The second day at morning when I woke up, I felt that amazing feeling. Feeling to produce even more music videos. As If were I don't care about whether it'll profit me or not. My ability is mostly focused on improvisation. I play piano non-stop for hours. I got a midi-controller where I can digitally record it. I'm currently generating tons of music and this is taking up my whole day. 

 

What I'm really struggling nowadays is at first I was being hard-ass on how to reach my audience. I discovered that's very difficult on music. I don't have keywords or topics that people can search upon and discover me. Now I'm in between " don't give a fuck about it " and " should I be giving fuck "  phase. I can do all that I can do right now i.e put genre keywords, post some related subs on reddit. I don't really wanna go " " ORANGE " ".

 

That's the thing with me right now. my mind is still struggling to find some bullshit way out to internet riches, which drains my energy. I'd not reject any help at this point.

Edited August 22, 2018 by non_nothing