Entry 1- Dave’s Journal

[Davo124]

Ok, so for most of today I’ve felt this weird kinda of refreshing emptiness, it feels weird to feel different in the same places you always are...

It seems that I feel differently each time I walk from the studio to the house. There is infinite hope, but pressing acknowledgement of the dissatisfaction I feel towards the level of progress I’m making... 

I am aware that I ACTUALLY CAN have everything I want spiritually as well as materialistically, but there is an invisible barrier... a barrier that is clearly understood to be emotional (I find this as I meditate)

I meditated this morning as soon as I woke up for about 14 minutes... it was strenuous but dude you’ll get there

MATE you will one day be meditating for an hour a day, and experiencing the effects. You will be able to EXPECT shit you want to happen JUST like you currently expect to be an awkward fuck, making an alien outta yourself, not expressing your true self.

You have the power- and I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks- to induce happiness in EVERYONE you interact with, by just relaxing. Funny shit comes when you feel comfortable in the situation.

 

What seems to make you feel uncomfortable? (All of which are actually as completely natural and divine as bacon)

• Fucking incest.

• Engaging in the social hierarchy, actually being the hotshot in the room, and in doing so being able to reveal the true nature of everyone in the room (choosing to boost everyone’s self esteem)

• Understanding that at the most simple level reproduction is powering everything everyone does

• That I am not actually being arrogant when I have the thought ‘I can make friends with, attract, and have sex with ANY girl in here’, I can actually CHOOSE.

Who else but real alphas and rapey betas feel they can choose who they mate with? Even repa’s can only choose females that they can physically access

 

But yeah anyway I’m on the studio couch at the moment, the piss I accidentally pissed on it is starting to rot or what ever, the smell is strong I got my guitar back the other day, so now I can record that song (I could’ve anyway really couldn’t I?) 

I am wary not set any limit on bad boi davvy dav to: only be a musician, all mastery is, is being able to use something to sufficiently express yourself, like how you become a slave to a devil as it possesses you, fuckin possess the guitar

how to find genuine, down to earth musicians? Be genuine and down to earth

This means live true to yourself which means you can express how you feel

 

Also- no fap bitch I’m on like 2days, on probably my 20th try, it’s get hard af once your favourite genre becomes alien porn.

 

As soon as I give myself 5 seconds to observe my mind activity it’s just whirring audio memories like the chorus of happy house, and I know there is invisible video memory overplayed of even my keyboard as I type. 

 

I am fearful of getting shit I want because I’m fearful of the emotional discomfort I might experience to get it- 2 years ago I would have said shut the fuck up to myself you are fuelling the problem by believing it is integrated into you. What is YOU? Let go of being just this person, there is nothing you are not, you are the smell of piss

 

I am so insecure 

^^^^^^ ‘I’??? You’re believing again...

human, be freee

 

imagine if I said ‘you don’t have to give a fuck about David anymore, him, his neighbours, his friends and the global population are gonna live their lives and you get to watch’

 

Meditate meditate ate meditate meditate meditate meditate meditate 

 

one last thing- when you truly express yourself, I bet you’ll find that you’ll get people reacting like ‘oh damn, he just said exactly what I was feeling!’ ‘He understands me’. This is because the greatest illusion of all is true: what everyone believes they are... IS THE EXACT SAME (non)THING!!!!

a shitty green Volvo and a nice slick black Volvo are both Volvos

literally, when you see people walking down the street, the psychological apparatus you are using to be aware of them is identical to what they are using to look out at the passing Volvos

 Until tomorrow ??