Grateful To Balance Pride And Humility

[Salaam]

I wanted to share something I'm profoundly grateful for, for those who feel a passion for energy work and becoming more capable. I hope you find value in it.

I'm so thankful for not just understanding, but finally being able to apply balance to my Pride and Humility so they work in harmony, together at the same time. It's changed my experience of life and myself in such a subtle, but dramatic way (eventually we can become like a fighter jet with our growth, just a small shift of the throttle, creates big changes in direction).

I see how pride protects me and props me up, in the face of pain and doubt, but I also see how it can shroud my perception and distort my ability to process and understand life when under stress. I see how humility, can ease the "puffing up" that shrouds understanding when my pride reacts to my pain, opening me to more sensitivity and internalization, but I also see how humility can distort things, deflating my gratification in self-achievement and the proper internalization of my growing capability.

Basically, the pros and cons of pride and humility manifest depending on the chemistry you have with both characteristics and I can balance this chemistry with my energetic proprioception so a "charge" is created that bonds them in harmony and healthy connection. I can then feel the health of that bond and when it's chemistry shifts out of balance, towards either too much pride or humility I can take the necessary action to re-calibrate. For the more sceptical who have trouble believing such things, this is the same way covalent bonds work, like two hydrogen atoms sharing an electron pair. I'm balancing the charge of attractive and repulsive forces, but instead of between atoms, it's the chemistry between pride and humility.    

What's awesome is this small shift in harmony and health between these two facets not only enhances my rapport, but also creates a cascade through my other capabilities. I can trust my own feelings more and internalize them deeper because my pride doesn't shroud them and my humility doesn't doubt them in the improper contexts. I can feel both my authentic pleasure and pain longer, because my past imbalance is no longer there to cut them off "mid-breath" with some form of invalidation. Both of these then also contribute over time to building a better me, with higher quality feelings and experiences changing my story and enhancing my potential as well as my reflections on my past and the beliefs tied to them.

When I was in the shower over the weekend, I remember feeling like I had faced so much that every single letter in every single alphabet had been carved into the skin of my soul and as I sobbed with that wound I also felt so happy and close to my pain, because I could finally express and feel it, without questioning whether I was being too prideful or dramatic in that moment. I could trust it and internalize it deeper, without invalidating it and even in the midst of that pain I felt so much more free and more me than ever before. And with that experience, so too has my pleasure gone and it feels amazing, to basically just exist with a greater clarity in the connection with my own feelings and reactions.

Has anyone else done similar work on balancing these sides of themselves? I'd love to talk more about the process of this with other facets of our nature.  People so often automatically seek one thing to replace another feeling. but I find it much more sustainable to build and change through addition, harmony of contrast, chemistry, and synergy. I know people are super into the whole mindful "let it pass without identifying" but to me the former is also a valuable practice for adaptation and growth.  

Edited March 21, 2016 by Salaam