Mini trip report

[Sevi]

My second mini trip on lsd. Very low dose but still there was a strong effect on me.

Took at 11:05, peaked at 2:10ish

My intentions were clear: the wounds and the blockages I carry on my psyche, that I was working on for a while; I wanted to look at them under the light of a activated brain.. And to meditate to a deeper state...

 

Well, what it did was it took me to my killer and hunter instinct, just like that. No emotions, no thinking.. Just very raw wild sensation of being alive. I wanted to bite something and not let it go like a dog.

No meditation whatsoever. I laid down, with heavy sensation in my brain and with this strong instinct.

I'm still a bit under the effect now. I know I 'shouldn't' be writing just yet.. But guess what. Who fucking cares.

Edited August 6, 2018 by Sevi

[Sevi]

I'm having difficulty to learn from this experience. Psychedelics can be a party drug or a tool in the way of enlightenment; okay. It's depend on the person. Now this experience I had can be a part of purging, maybe, in a way.. But really it doesn't seem to me right now that it haa anything to do with enlightenment. If it can be also a party drug how can you be sure you're utilizing it the right way? I am clear and confident where my intentions and desire on the enlightenment path but yet still I'm not sure that if I did it right, I also don't know if there is right or wrong either. I couldn't integrate the experience yet.

[Vipassana]

the distinction between a party drug & an enlightenment drug collapses when your sense of self is obliterated by the substance, low doses merely reveal the subconscious impurities. Whatever was revealed to you was simply the content of your life (the illusion leo talks about). What you experienced was the impermanent self, impermanent thoughts, impermanent sensations, what you potentially discover with larger doses is something eternal, something that was always here! so the right way to integrate would be to take a higher dose.  

[Sevi]

@Vipassana

Okay. Makes sense. Actually it makes perfect sense.. I'm still so scared to go that far tho.. I don't know if I ever be brave enough to do it before I die the way that I'm conditioned:)

 

*well.. maybe I can cure my fear with low doses of mushrooms:) then I go all the way out..

[Sevi]

To clear it out, I respect psychedelics. My intention wasn't to put 'pychedelics' into the category of drugs. What I wanted to say was 'The humans' who get them can utilize them in twisted ways (as drugs) or in a way which resonates with the nature of the substance. 'I' was questioning 'myself' if I am one of those people who mistreats the substance since my experience directed me into this questioning. That was what I meant by this phrase:

On 8/7/2018 at 10:38 AM, Sevi said:

Psychedelics can be a party drug or a tool in the way of enlightenment; okay. It's depend on the person.

 

 

Here:

On 8/7/2018 at 10:38 AM, Sevi said:

If it can be also a party drug how can you be sure you're utilizing it the right way?

What I wanted say was "since they can be abused as a party drug" how can I be sure of myself that I treated it the right way.

 

Also even a  person who doesn't have the enough consciousness yet, that person is still free to discover and learn on her own way; without faults and bumps who will really learn or transcend anything?

 

As an example, I teach dance, right; if someone trys it as a hobby, and at the beginning if they find it not helpful or interesting or sacred; as a teacher do I get resentful of them? Or be offended? Do I take it personally? Do I label them like: oh! I thought they were very nice people, now I see who they really are, oh I hate them now. What would that tell about myself?

If someone does identify herself/himself with a 'thing' even that thing is enlightenment or something so sacred; that will surely blur the perception and the communication.

 

And about relationships, if we are putting the other person under a constant need of explaining themselves for not be misunderstood, we'll loose some valuable connections. If we are breaking hearts due to nonstop evaluation and suspicion... Well in the end even the most loving ones gonna leave us that's for sure. Being too cautious and assuming others gonna take advantage of us is not a good sign. No one needs that much defence, none of us is that precious.

 

I am very thankful all the beautiful things actualized.org brought to my life, but I think when we get so involved unnecessarily, then that starts to take all the beauty away.

Enough is enough.