How To Accept Death?

[TimStr]

As I am contemplating death more often, I find myself becoming extremely anxious about the fact, that my time on this earth is limited, and that sooner or later I won't be able to give my gifts.

I am sure that this question can only be dealt with on a spiritual level, and that theres no way to rationally accept this existential fear.

So what do I have to do to loose my fear of death?

[nbolt]

To lose the fear of death you must lose your current sense of self. If you do not exist, who exactly is dying?
 

 

Edited March 21, 2016 by Neill Bolton

[SkyPanther]

2 hours ago, Neill Bolton said:

To lose the fear of death you must lose your current sense of self. If you do not exist, who exactly is dying?
 

This is correct; you have to disidentify yourself with the ego, memories, etc, once this is done (essentially the ego is either greatly attenuated, or killed) the fear of death is gone.

Edited March 21, 2016 by SkyPanther

[Guest]

@TimStr Yes! This is happening to you because you realise you only have so much time left.

Time to live and love.

This is ego death. It's not a permanent fixture, but a reminder that you are alive. Live your life. Face your fear, there is no enlightement, there is only life and death. You chose death inside this life and the fear is reminding you to break out of the abstraction of thinking about life instead of living it.

Embrace your fear of death, if you don't and you repress it you will be a numbskull and will live in an internet chat room all.your life seeking enlightenment. 

[Natasha]

@TimStr Death is not opposite of life, it's only opposite of birth. It's the end of the illusion that there was somebody.

[Guest]

@Natasha

48 minutes ago, Natasha said:

@TimStr Death is not opposite of life, it's only opposite of birth. It's the end of the illusion that there was somebody.

This is another one of your comments that doesn't make sense.

You are saying that death is the opposite of birth.

OK, fine.  I agree.

But then you say that:

Death is the end of the illusion that there was somebody.

So there was nobody to begin with?

So where does life come into all this?

Have you even thought this through Natasha? 

[Guest]

@Nomad Have you studied enlightenment? You don't die because you never existed in the first place. You don't exist right now. You never have. You never will.

[SkyPanther]

12 minutes ago, Nomad said:

@Natasha

This is another one of your comments that doesn't make sense.

You are saying that death is the opposite of birth.

OK, fine.  I agree.

But then you say that:

Death is the end of the illusion that there was somebody.

So there was nobody to begin with?

So where does life come into all this?

Have you even thought this through Natasha? 

There was someone to begin with, an organism with memory, genetic tendencies, and habitual tendencies, emotions, etc.

The amalgamation of these is the "ego".  But the "Ego" as a construction is not "self".  Just like the "car" is not a whole, it is made of the body, wheel, engine, etc... there is no essential "car" in it.  So when the body dies, the thing that dies can either be the organism, or a frightened ego and the body/mind that supports it. 

 

 

 

[Guest]

@FocusOnTruth I just rubbed my nose.  All present and correct.

I can study the Lord of The Rings.  However, this doesn't mean I live on Middle Earth

So even if what Natasha says is true, it's not true for her, and is therefore a belief system.

And aren't beliefs supposed to be the opposite of "Enlightenment" ??

 

[Guest]

@Nomad Yes, but beliefs are necessary to orient oneself toward enlightenment and doing the work necessary to transcend belief. The beliefs themselves are falsehoods and illusions, but for the sake of communication and primary understanding they are a necessary preliminary ingredient when pursuing enlightenment. 

[cetus]

5 hours ago, TimStr said:

As I am contemplating death more often, I find myself becoming extremely anxious about the fact, that my time on this earth is limited, and that sooner or later I won't be able to give my gifts.

I am sure that this question can only be dealt with on a spiritual level, and that theres no way to rationally accept this existential fear.

So what do I have to do to loose my fear of death?

There is much more to "I" than meets the eye.  Something that needs to be experienced by you and you only. Otherwise you would never believe it. Turn your awareness inwards an find the answers there.

[Henri]

@TimStr  A good and important question...

The best and most complete answer is given by the Yoga Sutra`s of Patanjali.

Check this out http://www.yogastudies.org/wp-content/uploads/Science_of_Yoga-Taimni.pdf  You go to part 2 of the book 3-12 or page 120-143

To my knowledge one of the greatest books of mankind and the best translation I`m aware off. A must for the sincere seeker.

 

[Natasha]

@Nomad Our true self is immortal. The end is of the ego - the false sense of self. 

Edited March 21, 2016 by Natasha

[jjer94]

Hi there Tim,

You will lose your fear of death after enlightenment, when you realize that what you really are was never born and can never die. Surely the body and all of its faculties, including the sense of existing (i.e. "I Am") will die, since whatever is born must die (as of current technology). However, the Truth of you will always be, and that is at least something you can lay claim to. 

You're afraid of death because you've put your identity and its attachments in things that are transient, i.e. your body, beliefs, memories, family members, friends. Acquire a direct encounter that you are none of these things, and your fear of death will go away. Easier said than done! Enlightenment work will help you realize what you are not, as well as see through your attachments, so I suggest keep on trucking along with that if you're already doing it. 

IMHO, death is one of the greatest gifts to life, because it turns life itself into a gift. When you continually remind yourself that your time here is limited, you will begin to feel overwhelming gratitude for the mystery that is life. It will also put a fire in your ass to find out what you really are, because identifying yourself with a finite body can be pretty miserable. The process of dying may be unpleasant, but the idea of death itself is nothing to be afraid of, once you realize that what you really are is eternal. 

Here's some food for thought to get you started on contemplating death:

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. 
--Mark Twain

Cheers!

P.S. Here's two more quotes about death that are worth contemplating:

"Falsehood is invariably the child of fear in one form or another."
 Aleister Crowley

“Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.”
Naguib Mahfouz

Edited March 21, 2016 by jjer94

[Nic]

Fear = Lies = mind chatter =  reality conceptualized

The conceptualization of reality can be change at will by realizing you have a choice to do so. You can change perspective on anything you want, change the glasses, the filter through which you see the world. A secret to live happy in a conceptualized reality is to be able to see the glass half full instead of half empty. 

You can practice that by starting with the gratitude exercice, 5-10-20 min a day sending your profound gratitude (you got to feel it, not only say thank you) to things that people take for granted, starting with the fact that you have a bed, a roof, a fridge, then move to who is important to you, your friends and family but don't forget that farmer that made it possible to have a meal today, the post man etc, and then to every single part and organ of your body, finally see all the things they allowed you to do. You will be so thankful to be alive at the end, you will never want to stop being thankful. In that way you see life already through a different filter, the emotion has shifted. Make a habit out of it. 

This is the most simplest way to practice emotional shifting. They are billions of things to be thankful for at any moment in life, even in the worst moments, the trick is to feel it and to do it often! See the glass half full!

Edited March 22, 2016 by Nic

[Sarah Marie]

@TimStr What do you think happens when we die?

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, TimStr said:

As I am contemplating death more often, I find myself becoming extremely anxious about the fact, that my time on this earth is limited, and that sooner or later I won't be able to give my gifts.

I am sure that this question can only be dealt with on a spiritual level, and that theres no way to rationally accept this existential fear.

So what do I have to do to loose my fear of death?

You have to lose your identification with the ego to truly lose the fear of death.

Enlightenment is awakening to your true nature, which is eternal. It is the only authentic way to escape fear of death. All else is a repression and distraction from this fear.

When I had my two enlightenment experiences, I accepted fully that Emerald Wilkins would die one day. This would normally have made me feel insignificant and make me ask "What's the point?" But instead, I saw the beauty in the entire cycle. I knew I would die one day and be forgotten by everyone eventually. But I realized that that's exactly what's supposed to happen.

But as an integral part of the tapestry of god to which I am both part and whole, my death would be exactly what was supposed to happen. I preferred to live... but if I had to die, I would have had no resistance. These experiences were the only times in my life that I wasn't afraid of death. After them, I fell back asleep, and only some anxiety was permanently eliminated.

So, to escape the fear of death, you must kill the ego. Once the ego is dead, there is no one left there to die.

 

[Nic]

@Emerald Wilkins Let me suggest you another way to erase your fear of death.

Don't try to kill anything, especially your ego, nothing will or should die. Wanting to kill the ego will reinforce it. Your ego is beautiful and is everything but an enemy. In fact it is and should be seen as your best friend. It has done the best it could from day one until now and it has done the job it was designed to do, nothing more, nothing less. Wanting the ego to leave is another layer of judgment, not accepting the present moment and wanting to kill it shows the level of resistance to what is. If you want to live in peace, embrace your ego, embrace it all and send your gratitude, compassion and your endless love towards it and life in general.

Once you are aware of an emotion, always take into consideration that you have a choice, a choice to see and do things from a positive angle, emotions are something you can consciously choose. If you don't see any choice, practice the gratitude exercice that I describe above, make a habit out of it. Gratitude is an emotion based in love, this is what you need to do to erase fear and illusions, express your love. The light of love/truth/awareness will always outshine in the darkness of fear/lies/unconsciousness.

Take care and practice gratitude everyday!

Edited March 22, 2016 by Nic

[Emerald]

10 hours ago, Nic said:

@Emerald Wilkins Let me suggest you another way to erase your fear of death.

Don't try to kill anything, especially your ego, nothing will or should die. Wanting to kill the ego will reinforce it. Your ego is beautiful and is everything but an enemy. In fact it is and should be seen as your best friend. It has done the best it could from day one until now and it has done the job it was designed to do, nothing more, nothing less. Wanting the ego to leave is another layer of judgment, not accepting the present moment and wanting to kill it shows the level of resistance to what is. If you want to live in peace, embrace your ego, embrace it all and send your gratitude, compassion and your endless love towards it and life in general.

Once you are aware of an emotion, always take into consideration that you have a choice, a choice to see and do things from a positive angle, emotions are something you can consciously choose. If you don't see any choice, practice the gratitude exercice that I describe above, make a habit out of it. Gratitude is an emotion based in love, this is what you need to do to erase fear and illusions, express your love. The light of love/truth/awareness will always outshine in the darkness of fear/lies/unconsciousness.

Take care and practice gratitude everyday!

Great advice. Since watching other spiritual teachers and talking to people on here who are pursuing enlightenment, I have realized this. But if only you were there to tell me this after I first had my experiences, it would have saved me years of struggling against my ego. I have struggled with a weak ego for years because I haven't been allowing myself to have self-congratulatory thoughts... but the self-deprecating ones were harder for me to ignore. Prior to my experiences, I had a very strong ego but no awareness. Then I had awareness but only resistance to ego. Now I am starting to allow myself to think well of myself without resisting it... but I'm doing it mindfully now. Things are starting to spin in a better direction for me. Thanks.

[Steven]

Hi there

I hope you are not planning to become a suicide bomber and now you want to loose your fear of death.

I know the feeling ... but you have nothing to worry about... The nature will do just fine without you

* The fear you are having is constructed and conceptual only i.e. it's not in the present - you didn't swallow a poison and fighting with your death now...of course you know this

I'm not trying to sway you from having this fear, because it carries a rare golden opportunity with it to realize:

-  how powerful and real our thinking can be and 

- also deceptive

We know this because we can experiment with it. We can decrease or increase the fears even.

In fact try this:

Next time you are deep into your contemplation about death, go a bit deeper. Try to be even more rational and start asking questions:

What if your concept of death is not so simple and subtle as you put it...

On 3/21/2016 at 9:46 PM, TimStr said:

that my time on this earth is limited, and that sooner or later I won't be able to give my gifts

What if it does not end so conveniently?

What if this sooner means very soon ?

What if this later means very old and alone, with some agonizing illness? 

What if you don’t get an opportunity to die in peace?

What if you realize that your life was just a pile of suffering without true fulfilment ?

Keep asking these format of questions...

We as humans often speak of death as we are some kind of experts... as if we've been through it many times

This shows that the fear itself can be manipulated and doesn't have permanence ... which should tell you that maybe sooner or later, or just before you die, you may not actually have that fear. You may be feeling like totally fulfilled and ready... You may even feel a bit pissed off with yourself for having that fear and wasting your time... quite possible.

And if you want to rationalize about it? Then maybe put x instead of fear and replace it with some other concept (happiness for example) - this is kind of what some religions do

The reason I said above that the fear of death carries a golden opportunity is because - you can ask yourself "what is it that I am doing NOW since life is so short"

 

Edited March 22, 2016 by Steven