Is computer science is my life calling? Need advice

[littleBIG]

I've been dabbling in and out of programming since 13.

I loved building things because in childhood, I played with legos every single day. At 13 I got into programming and wrote various programs for myself to use. But I later gave up because I kept running into bugs that I did not know how to fix. Not just bugs with my code, but errors with the complier which i did not understand at all.

I got back into it at 15. I was learning java and wrote programs to do my homework for me. Remember you have to solve equations in Algebra and show each step? I wrote a program that takes an input of an equation and solves it and prints out every step for me to copy. This time I got frustrated with learning again, so many libraries, functions, theory, I got so overwhelmed I quit again.

I picked it up again at 17. I was learning HTML and javascript and made a website for my GF's birthday at the time and she loved it. And then I realized if I want to get serious about programming, I can't just keep dabbling around different languages here and there, I need strong foundations. So I decided to study computer science formally but without going to college, just with free MOOC's. I took a free intro to CS course from Harvard (CS50) and I got BORED TO DEATH. They taught sorting algorithms, manipulating memory, machine code, etc. I don't understand why I need to learn these. I decided computer science isn't for me, there's too much theory and math, and I gave up programming once and for all.

I'm 20 now. I was meditating one day and I had a realization, I need to study computer science. I like building things, and computer science is the "lego blocks" to build things with. I thought about the $100 million question: if money wasn't a problem, what would I do? Well, I would build a game and develop it everyday. I've been a gamer my whole life and one thing that bothered me is how developers rarely take input from the community. Players would ask for features and be ignored. If I made games, I would consider every single input from my players. 

The problem is, I will be absolutely miserable studying the CS theories and math. I still don't know if computer science is for me. Take a martial arts master for example, he might practice a single kick 10,000 times. Yes it's boring, but I personally wouldn't mind it. Every kick is an art itself. If this is compared to computer science, it would be like writing 10,000 programs, which, I wouldn't mind either. But reality is I'm forced to study math and other subjects, it is TORTURE. Life is about the journey, why make the journey miserable?

I don't know what to think. Any advice?

[RichardY]

Don't do it.

[Aimblack]

Hey I'm studying computer science myself and was in a similar situation to yours. I took the route of conventional education but you don't have to. In my personal opinion if you want to be a professional who gets hired then at the very least you will have to be good at understanding and implementing algorithms, math is not strictly necessary for many fields like web dev.

Maybe going to freecodecamp.org, learning the basics there, and then expanding on algorithms and a lot of projects is more your style?

[Michael569]

Whatever you decide to do you need to realise that there is no escaping pain, hard work and a lot of very repetitive and boring manual labour. How do you think all great businesses were created? In a jacuzzi on the top of Manhattan's tallest building? ...err, nope in a shitty garage or cellar somewhere by coding for hours and hours, meeting people who laugh at you and give you the middle finger,  being kicked into the butt by every investor and being mocked by friends, ridiculed by everybody around. 

If you really want to master the Computer Science, you may need to get the education. I don't know anything about this subject but from the experience of following my LP, you don't always have to go down the 5 year university path, these days there are 2-3 shorter courses that include things like weekend lectures or flexible attendance. They still include a lot of academical crap but not as heavy. Do your research and see what the options are. 

Or you can become a self learner. You are young and probably have some free time to spare. Surround yourself with books and devote your life to this thing. Read hundreds of books from different authors

Visualise every day for 10 minutes and try to see your future self. What is he doing? How did he do it? What were the obstacles? ...

Most of all don't become overly keen to find an immediate solution. Let it sit for a while and perhaps at some point you will get a new idea or a tip from someone. Carry a notebook and pen because your mind may come with a brilliant idea when you stand on the bus and if you forget about it, it may never come back. 

[littleBIG]

@RichardY Thanks for the input. Care to elaborate on why?

@Aimblack I agree with you 100%. I thought about just outsourcing the programming but it's really hard to control the quality without the fundamentals myself. My problems with algorithms and the like is I get really bored learning about them because I don't see how I'll use them. And if I don't use them I'll forget what I learn anyway. I think I should change my approach and learn things when I encounter the immediate need to.  

@see_on_see Appreciate the advice man.

@Michael569 Thanks for these advice man You are right on the money on the last part. That's how the idea of computer science came to me. I had another idea came around just now: I kept thinking about how studying math will make me miserable. Maybe it's not pursuing computer science that causes me misery, but the lack of emotional mastery and consciousness work. They are two different areas of pursuit. 

[non_nothing]

Go develop that game. It don't have to be perfect. Release the shittiest version you can have for first version. Slaggiest code blocks. Make it single player. Then you'd consider in 10 years moving into multiplayer maybe.

Edited August 7, 2018 by non_nothing

[ajasatya]

@littleBIG start developing the game asap. you'll feel the need to study what you need to study and it won't be boring.

eventually you'll find out that you need to know

1. computational complexity theory, so that your game runs smoothly

2. data structures, so that your game doesn't make the pc run out of memory

3. game design theory, so that your game is actually interesting for more people other than yourself

for instance: you want to allow the player to set a destination for his character by using the world map.

1. how can you compute the optimal path from your character's current position to the destination point?
2. how are you going to store the chosen path and its current state on memory without creating a mess among so much stuff that's already loaded up like textures, models, sprites and sounds effects?
3. how can you make the travel interesting in a way that the player doesn't feel boredoom as he watches his character move all by itself?

Edited August 7, 2018 by ajasatya

[B_Naz]

A lot of people make mistakes on not learning maths. Maths is needed in Computer science, so if you don't like it, then I wouldn't really suggest going for it. I mean you could? Some people get by it but you never know when you have to develop a program that requires maths. Even with your game, physics is needed to create the mechanics.

You don't need to study computer science either, it's more of a formality when getting hired. 

Programming is not equal to Computer Science, there is a lot more to CS. It's called Computer Science for a reason, it has the word science => maths. 

Develop the game if you want to do it. You don't need a degree to develop the game, but if you feel like you need the degree to create the game, then yeah go for the degree with the vision of the game

 

[non_nothing]

Fuck computer theory go create your game.

[eleveneleven]

I second what a lot of people here say: Just go make your game. Right now.

It's really not as complicated as it seems. You feel called to do something, so do it. Anything else is a distraction.

You don't need to "study" computer science at a university; just learn as you go, if that's what you're called to do. The information you need is out there for free, and nothing teaches quite like practice and experience, anyway.

Every "requirement" you set for yourself is a distraction. It's actually easier to slog through a bunch of math classes that you hate than it is to face The Thing that you truly want to do, because doing what you really want takes courage, the ability to surrender to destiny, and the ability to let go of all of the results that you're attached to.

Creating work that you genuinely love also takes extreme vulnerability, and this is all but impossible for most people. This is why people usually just go to school instead and take up a career that they don't like that much.

No one else can tell you what your life calling is, but I will tell you that it probably doesn't have a name or fit in a neat little box like "computer science." Still, since it's your calling, you should be able to recognize it when you see it.