While searching about self improvement, relationship and emotional work, I realized the things that are preventing me to really establish deep connections with other people is fear of intimacy. We go on day after day using this mask that is made to protect us from being seen for what we truly stand for. Also, we put in our heads the belief that if a friendship or a love attachment cools itself than it's for the better, and it means it is not meant to last - so it's better to let go. So, we end up being restricted to our daily relations that are built on the masks we wear and not for our true self. We limit ourselves to show only what people would most likely accept, and not for who we really are. In fact, I also realized in my personal experience that when I do show my true self to someone and that person shows appreciation for it, the feelings is so unusual and overwhelming that I end up closing my self. So, even when I receive, I don't know how to be grateful, and end up not trusting the offer and the person's intentions. Also, it's very funny and at the same time frightening how this fear also happens in other areas of my life (work, school, family, finances,... ). One can say the fear of intimacy and of deep love takes the form of fear of success and control. In sum, it is altogether fear of abundance.  I did some shadow work, to understand what is the core belief that is preventing me from accepting abundance. I've found episodes with my family and friends where I felt unaccepted for my true feelings, where I was laughed at and punished for being who I was, and for speaking my mind. I suffered from being me, I was bullied at school and eventually I felt like nothing I did could change the way I felt and the way people treated me. Every smile people gave me, every approval of my ideas, all the generosity I received was not worth it... and it was only to ask for favors in return. I ended up not being able to trust anyone, or in any situation. And as life goes by, it's as if the same emotion is present in what is unfolding in front of me. This is not making me any good... In fact, it never did. Now I would like to change my situation... So... what to do? Is anyone in here that relates to this too?