The infinate mushroom cloud of overwhelm

[Epiphany_Inspired]

Hey Super-Rad-Forum-Community,

@Nahm, @Henri, @Joseph Maynor, @Arman, @pluto, @Shin, @Soulbass, @Outer, @Spiral, @Arkandeus, @Stretch, @Enizeo, @Dodo, @msd, @Haumea, etc.... it won't let me type any more @so& so's... so @ "YOU" (reader) too

You are likely sick of my seemingly eternal mushroom cloud of issues with Family Court/ my ex... but I am really struggling again &  help!

1. How do I get back to a place of total acceptance of any outcome again? (In the material world, my child is too precious for a "bad" outcome)

2. How do I embody the Ultimate Truth Warrior? (in an arena where the lies of others are powerful weapons, and I still dwell behind a fear-shield)

3. How do I respectfully tolerate a "system" where an authoritarian individual seemingly controls much of our future fate? (in the material realm)

4.How can I focus on packing and moving etc to our new life, permanently, with this shit-storm constantly brewing? or, How can I maintain/regain my positive habits, with court-prep, whole property to pack, a whole life to physically shift for the higher good? (hard to focus on present, meditate, be clear, practice gratitude, etc, too overwhelmed, no concentration power, regression to survival mode)

Basically, my Ex lied again, and got yet another trial. They are trying to take away all of the amazing things I "won" back in October, including : A new life in an awesome new place (with incredible support/ friends for both of us), the no contact order that protects me (a tiny bit) from some of the harassment, plus my parenting rights re: health and education etc. For some reason, I have to keep fighting for that stuff, and now they are going further, attempting to totally discredit my mental functioning, physical capacity, etc as a parent in general!!! What is the universe saying? BTW, She sees her dad regardless, I am not preventing that. Thanks sooooo much if you comment... even if you swear at me and order me to get my shit on track, I will appreciate you  

[Nahm]

@Epiphany_Inspired

You sound clearly overwhelmed (overthinking). The only thing that helps is to sit and breathe and relax. Do your best to eat clean and get enough sleep at night.  In times like these, we can often have huge spiritual break throughs, but you have to be consistent with practices, and you have to CHOOSE to relax. No one’s ever going to swing by and relax you for you. It’s days exactly like this that can often give us the message just the way we need it, and the message is slow down, relax - you’re in an ocean of joy, no more overthinking, missing it. Get up 15 minutes earlier (or more) everyday, and just sit and let everything empty out. Crying is ideal; tension out, love in. Ya need some kind of release, maybe a few. Be mindful to keep moving from the head to the heart. If thinking comes up (court, uncertainty, etc), put your focus on the much big picture, the real reason, the source of all your strength - the love for your child - and know with every cell in your body that you are loved exactly like that. We indeed are all God’s children. 

Emotionally.... Is this is running through your mind all day everyday, without respit ? Do you meditate daily?  I know it’s like a broken record, but it does help tremendously. We all have shit going on, or at least I know I do. Meditation just simply works. The important difference lies between having a ton going on, even things with emotional triggers .... and not being triggered by means of doing the practices. They work. Also, don’t forget for a second, who you’ve become for all you’ve been through. That’s very important - not losing yourself in that way. You’ve always ‘got it done’, what needed to be done. You’re resilient. You’ve been through these things before, hang in there, you’ll see, like before, the situation is not the catalyst of the stress, the over thinking is. The situation is going to work out fine, you’re going to be fine. 

Pragmatically...Sounds like there is a no contact order, but there is contact anyways....? Confused.    Sounds like you’re “not preventing contact” but yet attempting to move away from the ex, preventing contact? Either I am misunderstanding, or there is cognitive dissonance, or two opposing views you’re holding about the situation. 

One way to frame up stress, is zooming in & zooming out. I’d say you are hyper zoomed in, as in, you’ve been mentally over focused on this for too many days in a row. Like looking at a situation through a microscope for days on end, without taking your eye off it to look around and see the much bigger picture. So, do some zooming out, do some ‘just for you’ things. If you can, get away for even one or two days - it’ll change everything as far as your outlook. If that’s not possible right now, be on purpose with taking some ‘me time’ through out the day. Do things simply to have some fun, to loosen up. Music is great for this, exercise, go to the park, watch a funny movie - don’t neglect the fun. 

Also, maybe it’s going to work out just fine no matter what happens. Have you thought of it that way? There’s probably a best case scenario in your head, and a worst case scenario. But however the details unfold, your child has your love, and you have your love, that much is certain, and that’s enough. Focus there. Let it be enough. 

 

[Arkandeus]

in my experience I get overwhelmed when I lose track of my good habits

these core habits keep me in clarity:

a 5 min meditation every day

going to sleep at a proper time, that being before midnight

drinking water

 

I would really recommend the small meditation, every day, like a daily tuning to your divinity

you could use the endurance and the clarity that a daily meditation practice offers up

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hard to focus on present, meditate, be clear, practice gratitude, etc, too overwhelmed, no concentration power, regression to survival mode

there's no way around it though, when it comes to meditation you have to do it, especially in those times of need, but it instantly reaps benefit, just keep it to a small meditation it doesn't have to be much really

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. How do I respectfully tolerate a "system" where an authoritarian individual seemingly controls much of our future fate? (in the material realm

no one controls anything, any verdict is given to with and by life itself in accordance to all of its creation, and its always about love, but there's this evolution aspect as well

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1. How do I get back to a place of total acceptance of any outcome again? (In the material world, my child is too precious for a "bad" outcome)

I do not have any kids so I know I do not see as a parent, but your child is primarily a child of life, a spiritual being just as courageous as yourself that came into this world, just as godly powerful as you, allowing your child to be part of life, not in a way that you actively seek out bad experiences for your child, but in a way that you let your child be part of life as it is,

this will liberate your child but also liberate yourself

this is of course my personal opinion

 

the moment you earnestly ask a question you already have the answer blooming inside you

to structure a question you have to structure the answer, 

the fact that you ask these 4 questions is amazing, to me I see 4 answers

I'll go as far as to say that an answer enters our large awareness, and to integrate this answer we ask a question

 

Edited August 5, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Nahm @Arkandeus , I haven't been able to meditate currently, too overwhelmed. I understand it is the best medicine... just not able to access the calm again/ yet... sadly, not even 5 minutes right now... He's been stalking me again ...and now my friends too... but it's always just slightly "legally within reason" for him to continue, and now it's his "evidence" too... (I am still waiting to see all of his new videos of me just submitted to court NOTE: I was stalked and filmed for 4 years by an insurance company  after I was run over, he is filming intentionally because of that )...  it's hard to even breathe when you are in survival mode... best metaphor I can think of right now: would most people have the capacity to sit and breathe/ meditate with a tiger hunting nearby?  

@Arkandeus, It's after midnight... Tomorrow I guess... I adore all that you said, truly, I wish my mind was as receptive as my heart to your words...thanks sooooo much!!! I know the Judge doesn't really control anything, and that my material life is finite... that said, the perception of suffering still exists, and the other parent would not be a good choice for my child to fully experience daily, regardless of any lessons she may learn.... I feel the urgency and importance of my protection, it's become so difficult to detach from that... yes, I would love to be liberated... thanks for your help!

@Nahm re: "no contact order" it exists... but it's a pretty bullshit piece of paper.... I am forced to see him to exchange the child, and the "contact" is super toxic... I've called the police etc for help, but the order from Family Court is "Not Police Enforceable".... I know I have said this 100 times on the forum alone, but when you have a child, it's the only scenario when you can't get away from a toxic human... the other parent... it's like a perpetual prison I can never escape from... the rest of life can be bliss, amazing friends, stunning days, infinite possibilities.... but 6 times a month (so far) I am back in that jail, and the recovery takes time too.... ideas? Yes, I have little respite. Choosing to relax, does not enable it now. Zooming in, or out, I see the best and worst, but the worst is too intolerable. I really like the last things you said! I will do that! Thanks!

 

 

[Arkandeus]

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I understand it is the best medicine... just not able to access the calm again/ yet... sadly, not even 5 minutes right now

@Epiphany_Inspired

I know its hard, but this is the best time to meditate, it is the meditation that will bring you back into your calm

if is not 5 minutes do it for 2 minutes, or even 1 minute a day, that should be possible right?

meditation will give you clarity, will make things way less underwhelming, you will know what to do

 

Regarding your situation whenever you get thrown into a mess and you can't seem to make out what to do or how to go about it, it is always about love and trust

love & trust is the true north, whatever these values mean to you, they will bring you home

[Nahm]

@Epiphany_Inspired There is no tiger, that’s what you’ll see. What are you afraid of in terms of meditation?  

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Nahm @Arkandeus  You guys are amazing! I can meditate somewhat again now It kind of threw me for a loop that I could loose that ability with a major trauma trigger.... I even thought about giving up personal development ...after years of doing this stuff, just because the trauma seems to be stored so deeply... and it was so frustrating that all of my PD work seemed for nothing... when I am really triggered.

Your comments REALLY helped me! I also found a really cool gift from infinity! ... it was in a burn pile but a friend saved it...a drawing I did at a PD workshop...it was of my daughter and I, of where we wanted to be with this big move... and it looks almost exactly like where we ended up even the placement and appearance of the barn and house! I hadn't realized it was a visualization manifestation at all! Our heads have no bodies, only magic sparkles and wings The court has to let us keep this dream!

This song helped me too, and finding some new ways to counter my Ex's bullshit for court. The song, to me, is about how these challenges that bring me back to basic animal survival mode, are there to strengthen my spirit  

 

[Nahm]

@Epiphany_Inspired ♥️????

[Laymen]

no video this week? @Nahm

Edited August 13, 2018 by Laymen

[Nahm]

@Laymen huh?

[Laymen]

@Nahm I mean do you know if Leo will shoot a video this week?

 

[Nahm]

@Laymen oh gotcha.  No, I have no idea. 

[Enizeo]

Okay, so it has been a while now. Any status updates? Have you been able to implement what was said? Did you find you way back to a steady meditation practice?