exhale

Question regarding mastering and controlling emotions

4 posts in this topic

I have made tremendous strides In recognizing and labelling my emotions.  I have become much less reactive over the past several years since practicing mindfulness and meditation.  Through these practices, my emotional intelligence has improved, and has resulted in a more even-keeled, mature temperament.

As I do not want to allow my ego to fool itself, I was doing some self-inquiry about this area. 

My questions is: 

How does one know they are learning to master and control their emotions, and not merely suppressing their emotions?

Thanks, have a great day everyone.

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  On 8/3/2018 at 0:44 PM, exhale said:

How does one know they are learning to master and control their emotions, and not merely suppressing their emotions?

@exhale I can only tell you what my personal criteria are, so here it goes:

If you recognize your emotions as they occur and give them their proper place in the context in which they arose.

For example: when in conflict with another human, you recognize that your suffering is exactly as important as their suffering.
Not less, not more important. Exactly as important, regardless of who they are.
You do not give ground, but you do not take ground. You stay exactly where you are and wait for the storm to pass.
Once it is gone, you address the problem that you know existed because of your (mutual) suffering.

When it comes to pleasurable emotions, my guidance is to enjoy them, but expect them to end.
It does not mean to get upset that the world is gloomy and you shouldn't be happy.
It is more like the world can be gloomy, so we should be happy every time we get the chance.

For me, emotions are like waves that come and go and they convey important information about myself.
They are just that: important information. They are, however the only reliable source of information about myself.
In a sense, they are like thoughts in that they show meaning, but the meaning is personal.

Edited by tsuki

Bearing with the conditioned in gentleness, fording the river with resolution, not neglecting what is distant, not regarding one's companions; thus one may manage to walk in the middle. H11L2

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Question regarding mastering and controlling emotions

One important thing to be aware of...

Mastering and controlling emotions, is one and the same movement of fear, which nourishes that very movement of reaction-action, (emotions). 

Controlling emotions breeds emotions. Self feeding loop of fear in reaction to itself.

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