What do I do with this?

[cetus]

1 minute ago, zoey101 said:

I am not happy with how things are going right now.. but I am not going to stop. I want to do this and will do it for me. 

@zoey101 That's the spirit!

[Nahm]

@zoey101

You’re adorable. You’ll be fine. Self discovery is an awesome adventure.  ❤️

[zoey101]

2 minutes ago, Feel Good said:

The important thing here is that his reaction does not matter.

What is crucial is that you must learn how to assert yourself in a non violent way, with no blaming and no asking your partner to change.

If you can learn this skill you can become directly aware of your feelings and you will understand that nobody is making you feel anything, that these are your responses.

When this happens you will wake up and understand what is happening between you two. You will be able to understand by direct experiemce the nature of your relationship and the nature of your partners issues. 

Just say:

"When you do X, I feel Y, and I need to do this work for myself"

Say your piece and let go of the results. 

Don't blame. Don't accuse. Don't make anyone responsible for you or your feelings or your life and something will shift. 

You will understand by direct experiemce without the need for me telling you how exaclty you have gotten yourself where you are now, and how to get out of it. 

You can do it.

That's funny. I actually kept this in mind yesterday when he first started getting upset. I didn't want to escalate the fight so I just decided to drop it and go start dinner. I honestly was not feeling mad about it the second I entered the kitchen. I decided to drop it and just keep going, with or without his "approval". HE came into the kitchen and blew up because "he knew I was mad". But I wasn't, at least not at that exact point. I can't say I didn't get mad when he started making it about him again...

@cetus56 @Nahm

[zoey101]

11 minutes ago, Feel Good said:

Be your own island and be 100% responsible for yourself. Eventually the tide will turn when he senses he had not got anybody to play this blame game with anymore. You will soon get a sense of your own authentic power and your partner will begin to look different to you ad you grow. You will see for yourself.

I do hope so  

8 minutes ago, Feel Good said:

@zoey101 What you're learning is emotional intelligence. This is the most valuable skill you can cultivate.. It will change your life 

Thank you  

I have been trying to think of at least one good thing to say about the "past me". And I did discover one thing I do want to get back, even though I was acting crazy, I was independent, strong, and sexy. I had my own place and car, went wherever I wanted to go, didn't have to answer to anyone. I thought to myself, 'I was very sexy back then'

And now I can't stop blushing from saying that lmao!  

[zoey101]

30 minutes ago, Feel Good said:

Incredible! 

How are you feeling in your body? 

 

Still really awkward, but I'm trying to see the good parts of my past self. I want to identify with her again.

[zoey101]

1 minute ago, Feel Good said:

@zoey101 Zoe I can't stop crying for you. This is beautiful  it's going to be difficult sometimes but I will be here to help and remind you until you can stand on your own and take back your life. 

God.. now I'm crying lol thank you 

[zoey101]

40 minutes ago, Feel Good said:

Its easy  she is ALL good. Even the bad bits, you will understand soon.

I do hope so, thank you