Crazy LSD experience - How to proceed?

[Ferdi Le]

Hello,

Couple days ago I took about 500mics of LSD. I took LSD before but this was by far the craziest trip. 

I started after 20 minutes with some nice visuals and more intense body sensations. Then the trip got more and more intense. I know about enlighnment and ego-death from a intellectual perspective but was not actively trying to achieve those states. The trip just went without me controlling anything.

What happened was that alot of "concepts" I just normally take for granted completely collapsed. For instance the concept of family seemed to be a complete illusion. My family members in my mind did not seem different anymore to any other people. I kind of left my identity and realized that an "ego" is pretty much a prison but when exposed an complete illusion. It suddenly was so fucking obvious. We dont actually exist!!!! It was so obvious that it was actually funny. The mere look on my passport caused laughter. We actually have IDs for our egos! What a joke!

Also Actualized.org seemed so silly. This forum! We debate and write so much about the most obvious thing! Or VIpassana retreats. People meditate 10hours to see the most ovious thing there is!

My question: How can one live with such insights in everyday life? Because everybody expects you (consciousness) to be your ego. Ego life just seemed soo silly. So how can enlighned being live while taking themselves seriously. From my state: Everything just seemed like a lie an illusion and fucking ridicilous.

 

I somehow left that state after a while and got into a rather uncomfortable phase of the trip. It lasted around 15hours but is not relevant for now.

Edited July 31, 2018 by Ferdi Le
spelling mistake

[Arkandeus]

you felt a truth in that moment

its important to know every moment is true

you want to integrate this truth into your daily life, but that's not the point

your daily life has a truth as well, every moment has a truth that needs to be heard

there are moments when your family will seem real, some where they will seem unreal, moments when id's seem silly and ridiculous, and moments when id cards seem serious and important

listen to the truth of every moment, there is no conflict, there is no moment that carries a greater truth then another, every truth deserves to be heard, this is infinity

 keep listening to life

Edited July 31, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Empty]

30 minutes ago, Ferdi Le said:

My question: How can one live with such insights in everyday life? Because everybody expects you (consciousness) to be your ego. Ego life just seemed soo silly. So how can enlighned being live while taking themselves seriously.

I think this answers pretty much everything. You can carry on doing  your ordinary stuff, empty of your self

Edited July 31, 2018 by Empty

[SoonHei]

30 minutes ago, Ferdi Le said:

 

. So how can enlighned being live while taking themselves seriously. From my state: Everything just seemed like a lie an illusion and fucking ridicilous.

 

 

This. Good question.

 

Now someone please answer lol 8( I need to know also

[Forestluv]

@Ferdi Le well said.

It’s sublime ridiculousness 

[MarkusSweden]

21 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

@Ferdi Le well said.

It’s sublime ridiculousness 

QFT 

That's what it is. 

[astrokeen]

@Ferdi Le , I had a similar experience via shrooms. As time goes past, intergrating this into your daily life is not such a problem. Primarily because one tends to forget the psych experience. However, the insights you had on the unimportance of the ego, which includes everyone's egos, remain helpful. They release you from being overly conscious of yourself and letting go of ridiculous anxieties as in: am I doing the right thing;  will I be thought of well, etc. One also becomes more confident and less in awe of people. I feel braver about pursuing my interests and approaching 'hight and mighty' people. Therefore, I am more likely to open doors and encounter more opportunities. If life is a mere illusion of meaning, I can create any meaning I want or enjoy. Overall, it's a freeing experience.

Edited July 31, 2018 by astrokeen

[Forestluv]

4 minutes ago, astrokeen said:

@Ferdi LeThey release you from being overly conscious of yourself and letting go of ridiculous anxieties as in: am I doing the right thing;  will I be thought of well, etc. 

Indeed. There is awareness of the self construct and loss of identification. This goes against millions of years of human evolution and a lifetime of social conditioning. I've had to return to that awareness over and over and over. . . Eventually, the self stops being the "Main Act".

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Ferdi Le said:

everybody expects you (consciousness) to be your ego

Don’t.

2 hours ago, Ferdi Le said:

while taking themselves seriously

Don’t.

[vibv]

2 hours ago, Ferdi Le said:

My question: How can one live with such insights in everyday life?

Life as we know it absolutely is completely silly. Just play and have fun with it.

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Ferdi Le said:

My question: How can one live with such insights in everyday life?

That's where the hard spiritual work begins.

That's why you have Vipassana, yoga, Actualized.org and all these other "silly" practices and theories.

It's easy to feel spiritual for 10 hours on 500ug of LSD. The real trick is grounding that level of consciousness into everyday life.

Are you still gonna think it's silly when someone pisses in your soup? How about when someone rapes your Mom? That is the real test of your development. How conscious will you be then?

[Dodo]

@Ferdi Le The great Alan Watts once said (and I'm paraphrasing): We do not do meditation and the likes in order to achieve something, we do them because it is a groovy thing to do. Like dancing  

[hundreth]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That's where the hard spiritual work begins.

That's why you have Vipassana, yoga, Actualized.org and all these other "silly" practices and theories.

It's easy to feel spiritual for 10 hours on 500ug of LSD. The real trick is grounding that level of consciousness into everyday life.

Are you still gonna think it's silly when someone pisses in your soup? How about when someone rapes your Mom? That is the real test of your development. How conscious will you be then?

This is so true. Life will test how conscious you really are by pissing in your soup over and over.

That is if you allow it to. Have to accept those calls to adventure where you're forced to put everything into practice.

[SoonHei]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Are you still gonna think it's silly when someone pisses in your soup? How about when someone rapes your Mom?

muhfukkin Leo <3 puts it down in perspective like no other, but it hits its mark hard. bless

[Rilles]

Id be so shocked if i was eating some Minestrone one day and someone whipped out their dick and starting pissing it lol. True test of consciousness!  

[WelcometoReality]

 

On 2018-07-31 at 6:25 PM, Ferdi Le said:

My question: How can one live with such insights in everyday life? Because everybody expects you (consciousness) to be your ego. Ego life just seemed soo silly. So how can enlighned being live while taking themselves seriously. From my state: Everything just seemed like a lie an illusion and fucking ridicilous.

If you want to go deeper start living your life in the way that was realized. Embody the realizatio. I.e Without fulfilling peoples expectations of being the ego. Without doing that your realization will start to fade away until it's just a vague memory.

[tsuki]

On 31.07.2018 at 6:25 PM, Ferdi Le said:

My question: How can one live with such insights in everyday life? Because everybody expects you (consciousness) to be your ego. Ego life just seemed soo silly. So how can enlighned being live while taking themselves seriously. From my state: Everything just seemed like a lie an illusion and fucking ridicilous.

@Ferdi Le You think that because you live in a paradigm in which there is a one single truth that we all try to arrive at.
This understanding is superficial.

Just like @Arkandeus said: everything you experience is true. That is, at the same time, saying that nothing is true.
The fact that a large chunk of your identity fell off, doesn't mean that it was not real.
When you were in the middle school and had a fight over your crayons, was that real or not?
You had your fight because your crayons were the most important thing there was at that moment.
This is how an enlightened being can treat himself seriously. 

Edited August 2, 2018 by tsuki

[Arkandeus]

4 hours ago, tsuki said:

@Ferdi Le You think that because you live in a paradigm in which there is a one single truth that we all try to arrive at.
This understanding is superficial.

Just like @Arkandeus said: everything you experience is true. That is, at the same time, saying that nothing is true.
The fact that a large chunk of your identity fell off, doesn't mean that it was not real.
When you were in the middle school and had a fight over your crayons, was that real or not?
You had your fight because your crayons were the most important thing there was at that moment.
This is how an enlightened being can treat himself seriously. 

exactly!

[Ferdi Le]

On 2.8.2018 at 1:22 PM, Joseph Maynor said:

This is a good trip.  I had one like that.  My question to you is what didn't change when you were tripping?  And what do you see getting red-flagged post-tripping?  And why?  You gotta have some insight that's drawn from the trip.  And there's a cornucopia of insights there, you just gotta see it and you gotta let it permeate you over time after the trip.

One hint I can give you is that you see everything through your own Perspective.  And when you trip, that 'Paradigm of Self' falls away.  And that really enables you to get up under the hood of the prejudice of your Perspective as a 'Self'.  I like to think of LSD as a Mindfulness enhancer.  That's the best way to think about it, from my perspective and experience.  It's a great tool in Personal Development.

I contemplated this trip for some time now and want to share my main insight/ "action step" with you.

So on LSD I realized that my ego is an illusion. This leads to a very neurotic and needy perception of reality (always judging everything based on my self agenda). The problem is that the western lifestyle is just like this huge Ego-Feast. So its pretty hard to simultaneously be aware of the illusion of the ego and live in a western country (from my current perspective)

So the logical step for me would be to become a monk. Because when you think about it a monk lifestyle pretty much does not require an identity. You just eat, sleep and meditate. There cant be much of a illusion because you (as a monk) spend almost all time just being conscious

But this right now is not really an option for me (various reasons but porbably courage issues)

So I asked myself: How can I implement this? How can I not just "go back as usual? And my main insight is (besides meditating more etc.) to just not take my ego seriously anymore. I still have to live in a society and do various kinds of things but I want to try to always be self-aware of the fact that all these issues my ego takes to fucking seriously dont have to be that way. Instead of actually being pissed when the traffic is bad, I want to laugh about my ego actually wanting to be pissed about such a banality.

So basically being self-aware of "my egos life" and seing it as this extremely funny comedy.

 

Of course this is just my perspective as of right now and my views can very likely change. But I contemplated a lot and this was what felt best for right now (lets wait what Lucy will tell me next tme )

Edited August 7, 2018 by Ferdi Le