rocket fuel

[Arkandeus]

around the time that I awakened was the time that I experienced the most thoughts, that moment when I really questioned who I am my thoughts were racing I felt I was going mad

ever since being on the path of enlightenment, involving meditation and mindfulness in my daily life

it would seem that there is more space where I do not think, where I am, this space has evolved to form a galactic ocean and it sometimes feels bigger then the story of my daily life

paradoxically  I'm realizing I have not been thinking less, on the contrary, never have I paid more attention to my thoughts

ever since trying to enlighten, there has been more thoughts, more focus, but in the right direction

its as if now I think in a lethal way, multi-threaded, synchronistically, constructs of thoughts, dimensions of thought

thought has revealed itself for me to be as physical as throwing a punch

a thought is energy, every thought, every projection in the past or the future, it is all so much energy

it would seem that I am running out, coming to a stand stil, 

it takes so much energy to not be who you truly are

a thought is a projection in another dimension, when you think you are not here, its like a quantum leap, this is how far we go in our seeking

I'm at a point where I naturally go thoughtless at certain moments, actually for most of the day

no matter how you seek enlightenment you will get there

every effort, every thought, nothing is wasted, everything burns

every direction leads to home, eventually the mask will break

every single moment of seeking is going on endlessly, every moment of the past burning now, even those moments in the future, the plans you have already made, the efforts you are already doing in a mental dimension, months or years from now, those plans those projects, seeking there now

its pure rocket fuel being blasted, in every direction, till there's nothing left, too tired, no will to seek anymore, and then one arrives

Edited July 30, 2018 by Arkandeus