Anxiety - Your Stories & Solutions

[Anna]

Hello people!

I'm quite active in this forum and in nearly every secound topic someone talks about his/her problems with anxiety. So I thought about a separate entry where people can share their stories and solutions about this theme. I suffer from anxiety (social) as well, but I worked hardly on it.

I already posted an example of a way which worked well for me:

Quote

 

For example: Going to the city, Saturday about noon. I hate crowds, it makes me nervous.

(Solutions for me)

 

First I'm asking myself: What am I afraid of?

•  strangers coming too close (I can't stand strangers if they occur unsympathetic to me)

(keep calm, step aside)

• getting into a conflict, being offended

(interactions are normal, be polite, if offended smile and ignore or be sarcastic)

•  people judging me

(for what? be open-minded don't judge others as well, be confident with yourself)

• losing control over my feelings

(if aggressive: walk away from situation, calm down, breath slowly, it's not necessary)

 

What will happen physically if I throw myself into this?

• I feel stressed

• muscels especially shoulders will feel tensed

(relax muscels, shoulders down, head up, straight back)

• breathing will be hard

(breath deep and slowly)

• body temperature will increase rapidly, sweating

(walk slower, breath slowly, calm down)

 

This is what worked for me. Today walking in crowded (even foreign) cities is no longer a problem for me. I'm very happy walking around, always smiling and people smile back. That's a nice feeling, believe me.

You'll notice it's getting better day by day if you stick to it. I nearly overcame my anxiety, but it's not completely done.

 

So this was one example of what works for me. Meditation also helps a lot. Especially to calm down the mind.

In addition I found this video:

 

I guess it's quite helpful, too.

Now it's your turn. Tell us your story, your solutions or your thoughts on this theme.

I hope some of you will join this little project!

[Anna Konstantaki]

Hmm... Well I have no big problem with complete strangers, moreso I get into phases where I want to hide from people I actually know even if just from seeing... 

I once watched a video, I think it was from Noah Elkrief where he said: Nothing means anything about you. That mindset helped me. 

I do also have this other approach... I try to shine my little light into the world. Meaning that I try to give positivity to the people I interact with or randomly pass by. I think that when you are compassionate and nice most people somehow appreciate it and if not, I myself do at least know that I left the door with good intentions. I also tell myself that when someone happens to look at me like angry or jealous or annoyed or whatever that these people are just in pain and I should not judge them or change my mood because of that. The problem with this is that I kind of hesitate to go outside when I have bad days. Hmm... So this is terrible advice. I guess I just learned that people like you  when you are fine, when you are perfect so to speak...

Then there is this thing that people do not notice much and do forget a lot and that I can´t stop BEING because of them, because they might not like me... I have a right to walk through the world just like they do... I don´t know. I am bad at this... As I said, especially if it is about people where I need to have a certain image and I know how to give it to them. I have been procrastinating going to one of my professors offices for about a month now (pure anxiety) and I avoid going to the same supermarkets or stuff members to pay for my food. It is reallly ridiculous... I gather information about everyone and everything, I remember who had a scratch on their hand a week, month, year ago... I can´t help it. This always puts me into anxiety that someone might be doing the same but with bad intentions or absolute assumptions. When I feel good about my life and myself, I have no anxiety. 

[Anna]

@Anna Konstantaki I understand what you are talking about. If you aren't happy with your life anxiety levels rise. I experienced the same. 

I also like your attitude and your intentions to be a nice person even if other people behave in a bad way. 

I'm trying to do the same, but fail quite often in the last time.

I have to say I really appreciate people who spread positive vibes. It improves my mood.  

[Guest]

I had some anxieties before, but now my only anxiety is to waste my life. Not giving everything I have to achieve my dreams, not living to my fullest, selling my soul to the fucking devil. And I do it every day, which makes the anxiety even worse. I need to step my game up and get shit done, or I will never be free.

[Anna]

@Rasmus  Oh I know what you are talking about. This is my current situation and it somehow makes me depressed and feel stressed. 

[jenna]

Well, the big thing that has helped me with anxiety is daily meditation, daily gratitude, and reflections of self-love. Like for me, it mostly comes from body-dysphoria. And i still experience it, but mediation has helped two fold: 1) i can recognize the anxiety, and observe it-- but not let it affect me, and 2) the breathing techniques almost instantly help calm the nerves-- maybe not completely, but that's where the aforementioned "observing" without letting it affect me comes in. 

I know it's not easy. But you also have to be gentle with yourself-- don't be hard on yourself if or when you find you need to leave a social situation because the anxiety is kicking in. You're trying to work on it. Do you do any practices of self-love? Affirmations? 

If you're doing all of this, and i'm totally off base, I do apologize haha.

[Anna]

@jenna Sounds like a really good combination. I noticed that I definitely need to work on loving and accepting myself. I'm already on a good path. Anxiety is quite low and is not affecting me as much as it did before. 

Thanks for your response. 

[Evilwave Heddy]

22 hours ago, Anna said:

Hello people!

I'm quite active in this forum and in nearly every secound topic someone talks about his/her problems with anxiety. So I thought about a separate entry where people can share their stories and solutions about this theme. I suffer from anxiety (social) as well, but I worked hardly on it.

I already posted an example of a way which worked well for me:

So this was one example of what works for me. Meditation also helps a lot. Especially to calm down the mind.

In addition I found this video:

 

I guess it's quite helpful, too.

Now it's your turn. Tell us your story, your solutions or your thoughts on this theme.

I hope some of you will join this little project!

I was thinking that it was Melanie Murphy when I seen the thumbnail but it didn't look like her completely because she changed her hair last time I watched anything from her.

I used to have bad anxiety also.  When I began a 2 year course to redo my exams, the first 2-3 months I spent my lunch breaks eating in my car than sitting in the canteen where everyone else was.  I didn't know anyone so I just felt very uncomfortable sitting there even with my class mates who I didn't really get to know until a few months later, so they were still strangers for the first 2-3 months.  I communicated very little with them.  Since then though through constant class presentations (which made me nervous as hell even though I knew my class by then) and smiling at strangers(which surprisingly works) I overcame a lot of my anxiety.

[Anna]

@Evilwave Heddy Never thought anyone would get who this is. I'm impressed. But besides this: She is a wonderful person, isn't she? 

I understand, but I also believe this is a normal reaction. Ok, there are people who feel comfortable with strangers and start conversations right after they enter the room. But it's not that easy for everyone.

I also had those problems, but for now I'm confident in these situations.

Good to hear you overcame your anxiety. Keep going. 

[Evilwave Heddy]

Yeah, she's very grounded/down to earth and she has a real Irishness to her which reminds me of my sister.  Her Christmas Vlogs were funny to watch too, wish she'd vlog more. 

There is still anxiety there, but not as bad as it used to be.  I remember hanging out with one of my friends and a friend of his (who I didn't know) came over and started talking with him.  I became very quiet at that stage and tried think of ways to join the conversation otherwise he'd think I have a problem with him or something.  I was completely overthinking the whole situation rather than now where my mind feels calmer and flowy, by this I mean I don't have these random thoughts popping up out of everywhere "Do I look out of place?" "What does he think of me?" "Should I try join their conversation?" "Should I pretend to go to the toilet to get out of this awkward situation?" "My friend is gonna ask me why I was so quiet isn't he..how will I answer this?".  And this happened over 1 stranger.  Thinking back now...I was a mess. 

I still have much to overcome though and honestly look forward to it..  Thanks for the support. 

[Anna]

@Evilwave Heddy Hahaha oh yes. Vlogmas was lovely 

I can relate. I used to overthink like this too. It's torture for the mind and creates stress.

Today I'm quite calm in those situations. If I want to join a conversation, I do. If not I'm just listening, nothing wrong with that.

[Fishy]

Read "At last a life" by Paul David. It nails it

[Anicko]

There are some great stories here. I guess I feel inspired to share a small one of my own... 

So, I used to identify with anxiety and being an anxious person, but it's gotten so much better. I still get nervous, but it's different. 

One great example is when I get anxious I sweat a lot. It's awful. I was getting close to taking real person clients at school and I was getting myself ridiculously worked up over it. I was intensely interested in Eastern-style meditation at the time, and just beginning to explore shadow work and removing beliefs from my mind. Well! Somewhere in there, I managed to remove about 80-90% (for lack of a better description, words often fail) of my nervousness and anxiety. I did not drip sweat all over my clients! Fast forward, and now I may get a little anxious or nervous but it's under control. 

I'm even starting to manage my mistakes differently in my mind. 

I swear to you, there is a way out and it's worth the effort. Keep reading, keep asking and keep trying, you can figure it out! 

[Anna]

@Anicko Thanks for opening up and sharing!

I start to sweat a lot too when anxiety comes up.

Your story inspires me as well. I guess I will take the combination "shadow work & meditation" to my "how to cure my anxiety completely"-list. 

[Amplituda]

I don't get those unpleasant states of mind in the past10 years or so but going back in how I was able to overcome it I'd say the most important fact was to understand is that it's simply a state of mind which can do quite a damage to your general physical state  if you let it affect you. In essence it's not different from pleasant states which can also affect you physical and mental conditions in a positive way or negative way. So let's take the common example: you lost your job, tried several things perhaps even some interviews, nothing worked and you become anxious about making any steps forward and generally depressed with the whole situation.

What to do?

1. Understand it's a state of mind and for your Mind it's easiest to give up and get into this negative state after trying a few things.

2. understand this will not work for you and will bring you into worst situation comparing to reality ( in a nutshell your mind makes it even worse when it actually is)

3. Remember a similar situation and how you overcome it before

4. start believing in yourself and come up with a plan of getting more interviews and how to be successful on those interviews to get hired

5. execute your plan with positive attitude and land your perfect job.

I know it might be easy sound than do, but in the end of the day positive attitude will bring you energy to accomplish all these steps and you need this 360 degree change from where you're now to where you want to be. So you take 1 positive step and a time and build from there. Just remember start with building this positive momentum one step at a time and realize You're the one who does it and its all in Your hands.

 

[Anna]

@Amplituda This sounds like a good step by step instruction! Thanks for sharing. 

[Vercingetorix]

I have these periods of quite intense suffering, I guess It can be called anxiety?
mostly it's when I'm alone, and don't talk to people for a few days, and my negative thoughts are getting the better of me.
I tried a lot to solve this through mindfulness and being aware, not identifying with my thoughts/feelings, just watching, but so far my conclusion is that somewhat I only worsen the situation by doing so, my attention keeps energizing the negative thoughts/feeling.
Only trick for me that seems to work, most of the time, is seeing my negative thoughts, and telling myself, well yes maybe theses thoughts are true, but it's not for me to to tell if they are, it's not for me to judge them (the thoughts or people/situations). it must works together with an emotional "giving up" as well. (Then sometimes I follow it by saying, don't worry, trust the universe (or I guess god works too if you believe) , it will take care of you! It must work in a emotional level to work of course).

why I think it works? our mind is a tool to solve problem, doing a great job when used correctly. The problem arise when It try to solve a problem that he can't solve, or a problem that doesn't exist, or a problem that he is the own culprit of.
then he keep trying and trying and trying, without success because he can't solve it, and the frustration and suffering and anxiety arise.
The the solution is to make him understand that he can't solve it, and for me it works by telling him it's not his job ("it's not for you/me to judge").
thoughts? does this resonate with anyone else experiences?

 

 

 

[Anna]

@Kelley White what do you think about @Vercingetorix 's problem? You are always giving good advices, that's why I ask you. 

[Evilwave Heddy]

@Amplituda Thank you. <3

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Amplituda I think you have given a great answer. I feel anyone with almost any type of anxiety could use this formula by simply replacing " interviews, job, and hired" with words that suit their own situation. For me, my main anxieties come from ptsd after being stalked and filmed for years. Currently I have security related anxiety and I will definitely try this method.

@Anna I can relate to working on social anxiety too. I am one of those introverts that friends always mistake for an extrovert, BUT, so far, I can only converse on a relaxed level with people that are like minded and obviously not mainstream ( example; I am practically shaking talking to the lawyer in the suit, but I can blab away with the blue haired stranger with a banjo on her back... like we've known each other forever...lol....) I think once again we could use Amplitude's method and substitute the concept of speaking like friends with ANYONE.... by working hard on this, so far, I'm just making more of an effort to speak with the types of people that I feel I can't relate to....I am still anxious, but at least I'm talking to them... lol... what worked for you?