Tired of not being enlightened, where can I find a master?

[abrakamowse]

@Jack River  thanks, that was a very helpful insight. Thanks a lot for that.

@Shin I think you are right about that. It's as Jack said, the ego/thought that thinks it has to get or achieve something in "time".

 

@Nahm  Do you know that fear is more and more disappearing and I am finding more and more trust in what is. That it doesn't matter what happens everything will end the way it is supposed to be. This is happening lately, I think it can be a little bit of spiritual grow in that sense.

Not being worried about anything, but anyway I continue working, and doing stuff that my "character" is supposed to do.

[abrakamowse]

31 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@abrakamowse Can you identify any fears? Doubts?   (Just in life, not really enlightenment related.)

On a second thought. This is what happens. I feel the character of me more and more like something that is not really me.

I am most of the time observing my body/soul/whatever how it acts and reacts. But I don't see his worries as mine. But anyway sometimes I am caught in the illusion and fear arises.

For example, I am having some problems with money (who doesn't right?) and I am worry of not being able to pay the rent, etc... things like that.

Mostly money problems.

Lol...

I am trying to open a business online to offer services and solve that problem. But as I said, there's a part of me that is not worried about anything that happens. And sometimes seeing what my "character" does can make me get caught in the game, but every moment that passes I feel more like an observer of him with his worries and anxiety... there's a pain in the chest (not a pain exactly, like a discomfort let's say) at the level of the chest. Like angst that is trying to get out but it can't... 

I think is all money related.

[Shin]

@abrakamowse

[abrakamowse]

@Shin Totally agree!

? 

[Charlotte]

1 hour ago, Jack River said:

For me I saw that motive=fear. And motive goes way deeper than the usual conscious awareness that is distorted by self. self does t recognize the subtle motive/fear. We think we are aware of all fear movement, but it slips through undetected. 

?♥️

[Patang]

@David Turcot meditate, look for yourself in the space between thoughts. when you'll realize that there is no one there to do anything, ignorance dissolves and wizdom appears.

[Nahm]

@abrakamowse That’s great it’s identified! ?? 

I remember when I was at this place where I started noticing how my energy / mood was always reactive to how those around me were behaving / being, and in general my energy was dictated by the highs and lows of my life, my day, if it was Friday or Monday, if I had things I was looking forward to, if I was holding a ‘good vibe’ vision of where life was headed, etc. Essentially, sometimes I was clear on a thought vs direct experience, but mostly I was reacting, still. When a thought or concern involved money, it was as if it had unique precedence like “well I’m a money worry/thought, so I cut right through to the front of the worry line  - I’m a real  problem, so we’re gonna justify worrying on this one - it’s a real / serious thing, it’s not that spiritual stuff”. Can you relate to that or no? 

[abrakamowse]

1 minute ago, Nahm said:

@abrakamowse That’s great it’s identified! ?? 

I remember when I was at this place where I started noticing how my energy / mood was always reactive to how those around me were behaving / being, and in general my energy was dictated by the highs and lows of my life, my day, if it was Friday or Monday, if I had things I was looking forward to, if I was holding a ‘good vibe’ vision of where life was headed, etc. Essentially, sometimes I was clear on a thought vs direct experience, but mostly I was reacting, still. When a thought or concern involved money, it was as if it had unique precedence like “well I’m a money worry/thought, so I cut right through to the front of the worry line  - I’m a real  problem, so we’re gonna justify worrying on this one - it’s a real / serious thing, it’s not that spiritual stuff”. Can you relate to that or no? 

A lot!

You know that you are helping me in that I didn't notice how it goes to the "most important worry" position. Lol....

You are right! Thanks! Money is "real" problem for sure! hahaha.... Thanks again!!!

[Nahm]

@abrakamowse This is just how tricky and deep rooted thought is, and the conditioning of our culture. The “money problem” (future) doesn’t actually exist. Notice how if I said in one week, you will have ZERO pocket lint....you’d probably not really think much about it. But replace pocket link with money, and you’d swear, right now, it was no longer an issue with overthinking, and an actual real problem. But “pocket lint” and “money”, right now, are actually equally powerless thoughts.  Can you really feel that difference in this moment? How one feels heavier, more important - but is just a thought, same as the other? 

Which do you want to be putting first; how you feel right now, or a thought about future/money?

Maybe you have made a habit of thinking, “I’ll feel better now, when I have more than enough money for the future? 

[Hellspeed]

21 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

@Hellspeed are you into alchemy? It seems to me you have studied it

I'm into Healing and Tantra. I have not studied this subjects or fields. I have not had a Master to teach me, only my Breath.