Tension in the body

[ChimpBrain]

Sorry if another section would be more appropriate for this but nothing jumped out at me as obviously being a better fit. This is going to be a somewhat embarrassing thing to talk about but here it goes. I have a 6yr old daughter, when I found out her mother (now my wife) was pregnant with her we had only been dating for 2 months (accidental, obviously) and there was a 10yr age gap between us. I was 29, she was 19. The realization that I was going to be a dad and the sole provider for a child and mother who was a full time student hit me hard. I went from easy-going, working just enough to pay my bills (30hrs a week maybe), partying every weekend, etc., to being a workaholic who was deeply afraid of not having enough money to support my family in about a weeks time. Money became my first priority and I started working 70+ hours a week and stressing like crazy. With this came erectile dysfunction, more specifically, a condition called pelvic floor dysfunction in which the muscles of the pelvic floor basically contract unconsciously, and even against your will when you try to consciously relax them. This is the literal physical manifestation of someone being "uptight", a "tight ass", or "anal retentive". I've also had a sort of dull tension in my entire body, especially my jaw and traps for years now. I got myself into a mode where I'm always in a rush, obsessed with efficiency, always multi-tasking, always thinking about what's next on the agenda, etc. Granted, the mental side of things is much better since I discovered Leo and meditation, cut my work hours down, and my wife graduated and got a job, but the physical symptoms haven't improved. I've been working with a chiropractor for over a year with no improvement, although he has fixed several posture related problems. And I've just recently started working with a physical therapist who's a published author on the subject of pelvic floor dysfunction in men. The problem is, she says this is primarily a mental phenomenon, not physical, and recommends meditation, journaling, seeing a sex therapist or a psychiatrist, hypnosis, and getting your gut health in order because of the relationship of the microbiome to the brain. I've been meditating and journaling for about 2.5yrs now, and just had a stool analysis done so we can assess the state of my gut and have radically altered my diet based on the results. 

 

So, I thought I might ask here since this is problem appears to be more psychological than physical, if before I throw down more money on therapists and testing, anyone here has some reliable ways to relieve tension in the body. Meditation helps some but it's not significant. I've tried guided yoga nidra sessions but I just fall asleep every time. That's another thing, sleep doesn't fix it either. The tension I mean. I've tried affirmations too. Again things like meditation, mindfulness, journaling, affirmations, etc, have improved my life tremendously but I still can't shake this one symptom. I've also tried drugs like alpha blockers, beta blockers, and benzos. These help for a matter of a few days and then everything goes back to "normal". Also viagra and cialis do help slightly, but it's maybe like a 10% improvement, doesn't get me anywhere close to a normal level of sexual function, and does nothing for the pelvic floor tension I deal with 24/7.

 

Ok I feel like I'm rambling now. If you've read this far, thank you. If you have any methods you think might be useful in my situation, I'm all ears! 

[Solace]

I would highly recommend Acupuncture to release tension. Have an appointment with your local GP, and he may refer you to a acupuncturist for free treatment depending on where you live.

Also, hatha yoga is specifically designed to release the stress, knots and tension in the body to allow chi/prana to flow effortlessly through you. Something you could do right now while learning or instead of yoga would be to start doing stretching too. 

You are completely right, it is stress which caused your muscle tension, so I have just listed how to deal with the physical symptoms, but as you know the root cause is stress. The practice to remove stress is to start developing trust in the present moment, and that the universe has got your back. So whenever you start Worrying, Anticipating a undesirable future, or Regretting past actions (WAR) stop and focus on your breathe. Notice how nothing you are imagining is actually present in the room you are in. Breathe, take a break my friend.

Your mind is too wild to do proper meditation. So I recommend one of these practices instead until we can stop your mind from controlling you so much with these fear based thoughts  https://channelhigherself.com/blog/what-if-meditation-is-too-difficult/

I recommend this especially: https://channelhigherself.com/videos/satsang-with-the-self/10-minute-higher-self-meditation-ujjayi-victory-breath/. This breathe control practice will overpower the thoughts in your mind, and so will give each day a more and more silent, and peaceful mind. This I feel will be the most important practice for you because it deals with the root cause, it will purify your mind of stress, and replace it with peace and silence.  

You are the creator. Create more peace using the Ujjayi breath and watch your reality change. 

Namaste.

[Freethinking Guru]

Thanks for sharing something very personal. It does seem like an issue that's heavily psychological, and as a result, causes tension in your body.

This is one of those issues that's almost like a catch-22. You keep thinking about the problem and wanting it to go away --but that just causes more stress and tension -- then you get more stressed when it doesn't go away -- further exacerbating the issue.

As a way of not getting so worked up over it, I would completely surrender to the problem. Really accept that it's there.

There seems to be a lot of energetic blockage towards that area

Practice breathing while letting your body lose its tension completely. If your breathing is shallow in your daily life -- that's a problem. Allow your breath to come into your body and nourish and relax every part of your body.

Set the intention for that part of your that's tense and direct your awareness to that area.

It's one of those things you can't force. I understand the frustration, but I wouldn't want to delude you into thinking there's a quick fix for it. Your relaxation will come gradually. Just tie your breathing to the gradual easing of tension in your body.

- FreethinkingGuru.com

[Toby]

I am a little bit biased because of - imo - it's effectiveness in general, but I'd recommend TRE (Trauma and Tension Release Exercises).

[okulele]

IMO there ia nothing like bioenergetics when it comes to body tensions. It is stored in the body, you have to work with the body.

Here is a specific workout for pelvis:

I would recommend studying the guys channel a bit and learning how to do bioenergetics properly. Can take a bit of time, but the results should come.

Also Osho's dynamic mediation is similar in nature and could help.

[okulele]

@ChimpBrain and by the way, I know it is difficult to have strong blockages. It can feel like you are a prisoner of your own body. Don't despair, I am sure the release is around the corner 

Good luck.

[ChimpBrain]

Thank you all for the advice, support, and ideas! I'm going to start researching and experimenting with bioenergetics and trauma releasing exercises. I just tried about 10min of the bioenergetics and did get a diminishment of the tension, but it went back to normal within a few minutes of stopping the exercise. I'll experiment further when I have more time and if I find anything that works I'll be sure to report back. 

 

Thanks again! 

[Widdle Puppy]

It sounds like you are holding onto a ton of anxiety and negative emotions. Your body and mind hold onto these things and keep them in your subconscious. It's the habit pattern of the mind where it clings and clings to things it feels are important but often it is all illusory. 

Meditation is your best friend. Really anything that brings you awareness to your body like trauma releasing exercises, breathing, etc. I got into it myself (vipassana) because I had chronic headaches, facial sensations and was just somewhat aware of that I was carrying all this stuff around with me. I could feel it in my body. I'm far from releasing it all but it's a start. 

Edited July 27, 2018 by Widdle Puppy

[Leo Gura]

Shamanic breathing

Kriya yoga

Psychedelics

And many other techniques you could try (as folks have suggested above).

[Forestluv]

Yoga worked wonders for me. Mind-body-spirit balance.

[ChimpBrain]

I did yoga once every day for a month straight and it did seem to have some positive effect, although nothing drastic. I was just doing 30 minutes of Sun salutations followed by a simply Kundalini routine though. Leo I've been using psychedelics for over 20yrs, although a lot of it recreationally, but I've never had the opportunity to try 5meo.  I've only done shamanic breathing once at a retreat with Aubrey Marcus. It was a cool experience but had no effect on my symptoms. Maybe it'd be different trying it at home. I know the Wim Hoff breathing makes my symptoms worse, likely from the adrenaline release involved.

I did 20 minutes of the bioenergetics workout last night and again this morning and it does seem to have some effect, although it goes away within a few minutes of stopping the routine. I'm going to continue it every day for 2wks and see what happens. If there are no noticeable results, I'll move on to Trauma releasing exercises.

 

Thanks again everyone for the input and suggestions!

[Solace]

@ChimpBrain Use your creative power to change the belief: “My body is tense”, and change it something uplifting and inspiring such as: “Yes! I have an infinitely relaxed, agile and flexible body.” Feel it as if right now you truly do have a relaxed, agile and flexible body; and maintain this knowing now and forever. Reality must reflect back to you what you beleive for you are a cocreator and on some level you created a tense body by not believing in yourself, and your infinite power.

Know this, and feel this flexibility in your body, and do the same physical steps as someone who is flexible and agile would be doing daily  

[Leo Gura]

@ChimpBrain That is like saying "I meditated for 1 day and saw no results".

You know better than that.

[Widdle Puppy]

Does anyone else have problems finding one method and sticking to it? I think it's possible to try these different methods only for about a few days/weeks/months but slack around with it and then go off to another method. It's a distraction of sorts. I think part of the process is maybe finding one or two things and sticking to them consistently. It's kind of like going to the gym. For sure it will be hard at times to do them consistently and there will be times you wont want to or you'll be in a place emotionally where it feels like hell but you need to just show and be present in some form and know when to push yourself. I don't think there is a single method where you start it and it just flows completely effortlessly for you and you make progress every day. It's a long term commitment which does require grit if you want to make those big leaps and at the same time requires patience and accepting when the going gets hard but just keep practicing. Overthinking the method can be a distraction. 

[Leo Gura]

@Widdle Puppy I like to think of it as two phases:

1. Exploration phase: where you learn about and sample lots of various methods. Little results but lots of options and new ideas.
2. Consolidation phase: where you get serious, buckle down, choose a few methods to master, and get to work. Lots of results but kinda boring and grindy.

Both are important.

[Emerald]

@ChimpBrain The thing that jumps to my mind right now is that perhaps you have an issue with the root chakra, that is then affecting the sacral chakra above it. The root chakra has everything to do with life's most basic needs: your survival and the survival of your family. The sacral chakra has everything to do with pleasure and sexuality. Perhaps, when you were jettisoned into fatherhood unexpectedly, you knew that a huge change had to happen in a very short time. So, you may have started "straining" your root chakra to get by. And now that's the mode that you're stuck in and the root chakra is jammed into overdrive. Then, because it's where the Kundalini resides, you're also not getting proper energy upwards toward the sacral chakra and the others as well. 

Now, this is just a thought. But it seems to fit pretty well. Perhaps try some grounding exercises where you can assure yourself of your own safety and security to live and to exist here. 

Edited July 30, 2018 by Emerald

[hundreth]

Hey man, sorry to hear you're going through this. It definitely is psychological. The best thing you can do for yourself is to drop the label of "I have pelvic floor kalamazoo whatever." That's going to keep you stuck indefinitely. Your body is way more complex than these labels, and can change. The main cause for this type of issue is depression and anxiety. Not to give you more labels, but work on stress reduction and not thinking about this issue. You will naturally relax, don't give yourself performance anxiety. It's important to remember that just as quick as you got into this state, you can get out.

Work on meditation. Definitely do yoga as this addresses both stress and tension in the body. Take Maca root extract as this helps with both libido and general health. Stop trying to directly solve the pelvic whatever, it's just a label. You already know the root issue, anxiety.

Listen to this guided meditation every night while falling asleep:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tF14GnCJqk&t=0s&list=WL&index=19

Best of luck.