Dealing With Intimidation

[Phoenix]

In my job, (which involves customer service), I deal with all types of people. Most of them are powerful. They have business, wealth, status.. etc. When they interact with you, they won't feel good about themselves unless they try to intimidate you in some way. I suppose it stimulates their big ego. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with such personality types? I will love for Leo to make a video on this. It's somewhat unnerving. I need to learn how to conquer these types of individuals.

[Truth]

Being present in the moment is huge in these type of situations, personally when I started doing this the emotions and feelings in my body were just churning, and did my best to stay present and not let them emotionally "dominate" me. The more I did this the less I cared what they had to say in fact over time I spun it back on them in a positive way, their "shots" over time got easier and easier the more I did this. This can be incredibly difficult if you don't have a meditation habit in place, because without this your stuck in the reactive-response orientation. Always reacting instead of holding your ground or creating your own dominance. I can't stress enough how important meditation is here. 

Edited March 20, 2016 by Truth

[Guest]

49 minutes ago, Tineil Riley said:

In my job, (which involves customer service), I deal with all types of people. Most of them are powerful. They have business, wealth, status.. etc. When they interact with you, they won't feel good about themselves unless they try to intimidate you in some way. I suppose it stimulates their big ego. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with such personality types? I will love for Leo to make a video on this. It's somewhat unnerving. I need to learn how to conquer these types of individuals.

Why do you want to conquer them?  

The behaviour is not the person.  Personality "types" are not absolute models, all people have different things going on.  

The best way I know how to shift a persons behaviour is to:

a) Find out if I'm projecting an aspect of myself into them.

b) If I'm not projecting then I accept their behaviour and try to appeal to the "adult" in them, or their "true Self" which is the part of them that treats themselves and others as equals.  Some people's true Self might be completely disabled which means they are completely run by sub-personalities (the selves that are impacting you negatively).  However, it is possible to awaken their true Self if you are centred enough to communicate with it (aka not coming from a sub-personality yourself) - you might have a sub-personality that is subservient, or judgemental etc.  If you are negatively impacted by a persons false self then it's a sign you are viewing the situation through a false self belonging to you. 

*Sub-personalities are parts of the personality that we identify strongly with and take over in certain situations in order to cope with life.  They are called sub-personalities because they act independently on autopilot. We mistake them for who we are.  

So effective communication is being aware of the dynamic between ourselves and another person in the moment and recognising if either of us are coming from an unaware sub-personality.  As soon as you become aware that you're possibly playing victim / perpetrator / judge etc etc then the true Self automatically takes charge.  In my experience activating my true Self usually deactivates the others sub-personality.  Not always, but most of the time.

Edited March 20, 2016 by Nomad

[Phoenix]

Thanks @Truth and @Nomad for taking the time to respond. I have considered what you both said, and it has helped redefine how I will be thinking about this issue going forward. But what really put the last nail in this coffin for me to finally bury it was this video by Leo: http://www.actualized.org/articles/30-ways-society-fucks-you-in-the-ass. Now I understand that the materialistic things that people use to puff themselves up to a level of fake superiority, where they now feel as though they are in a position to make you feel small, is all actually based on a social matrix. It's an illusion.  

[Guest]

@Tineil Riley Yes the video is pefect for you. Its resonating with your worldview.  I imagine now you will be able to "conquer" them completely armed with the information in the video.  Bloody bullies and puffed up bastards that they are! Jeezuz!

Edited March 22, 2016 by Nomad

[Anicko]

They see themselves as powerful (or try to), and they project their feelings of powerlessness onto you. When you start to feel it, you must recognize it and not accept it. 

It's an incredibly challenging thing to do, but as you practice, you'll figure it out. 

You have to understand, though, when you reject their projections, they are going to get angry. And you might be tempted to take their anger personally, but you must not! Then you do give them your power. 

I think of all the stuff I've learned about self actualization, projecting is the most fascinating thing to learn about. I'm still a long ways from completely recognizing and understanding it, but it gets easier over time. 

[Ayla]

On 3/20/2016 at 3:37 PM, Tineil Riley said:

In my job, (which involves customer service), I deal with all types of people. Most of them are powerful. They have business, wealth, status.. etc. When they interact with you, they won't feel good about themselves unless they try to intimidate you in some way. I suppose it stimulates their big ego. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with such personality types? I will love for Leo to make a video on this. It's somewhat unnerving. I need to learn how to conquer these types of individuals.

The answer is in your question actually. The way they talk is THEIR issue, not yours.  

Respond in the way that is YOU. Any other alternative will burn you out in the long run. What helped me in the same situation, was the thought that even the king makes funny faces when he's constipated  

LOL 

[vizual]

You have to first realize you can not "conquer" anyone. You do what you do and they do what they do, that's the way it's supposed to work. 

The only way you can sabotage this - and thus sabotaging yourself - is by sacrificing yourself to comply to the other. Try to see these people not as "powerful" or intimidating. That thought alone will throw you  off balance. They are people who are trying the best they can by what they have learned in THEIR life. Their life has learned them that people will comply the easiest if they use their power and intimidate people. That's not their fault. Only when they see that their intimidation tactics won't work anymore will they 'learn' that it's not congruent with source. 

When you stay true to yourself and these people still try to intimidate you they will be the ones who will feel bad about themselves, not you. And when they get to the point where they are encountering this a lot they will realize they are the one's who will have to change.

[Nathalie]

@Tineil Riley I lately saw this short video with Obama

 

 

Only a few seconds it tell you so much about style and respect.. It's amazing isn't it?

[Guest]

@MartineF @MartineFThe way we feel about ourselves has an impact on how we learn.

I don't see an arsehole.  I see a wounded person who has a right to be who he is.  It's upto him if he wants to develop.

Energy would be better spent campaigning to raise awareness of the route of these behaviours and attitudes rather than campaigning against the people and social matrix.

It takes some degree of awareness to see if we are subtly taking a side "against" certain people or behaviours, creating a polarity.

If anybody here thinks that they are some kind of moral virtuoso and that they don't have polar opposite aggressions going on then I suggest some shadow work.  

[Nathalie]

@Nomad .. yes and everybody has the right to express what he or she thinks, right?

[Guest]

@MartineF Sure.  Including me.  And seeing as I'm more self aware than you, who's apparently still stuck in being a victim of these people and making monsters of them, I'll comment on what I see is unhealthy thinking around this issue.

Including Leo's bizarre contributions

[Nathalie]

8 minutes ago, Nomad said:

 And seeing as I'm more self aware than you

congratulations, I'm fine with it.. Besides, i never claimed the opposite

10 minutes ago, Nomad said:

who's apparently still stuck in being a victim

and I don't feel as a victim at all.. Maybe I'm rather like the premier minister in the video.. Who knows?

[Guest]

@MartineF You have a point!

[Anicko]

@MartineF That clip was hilarious to me. I feel a little sorry for the cop- he probably felt like the humiliated asshole at the time, but perspective is everything. Thank you for sharing it. 

I also get the sense you are a class act. I hope you have an excellent day.