No Confidence In Relationships

[CuteCornDog]

I see relationships and humans as worthless except for stuff that's sexual.

Seven years ago, I wasn't this way.

I got along a lot better with people when I was younger and wasn't judgmental.

What happened was that I cared about people that ended up taking advantage of me and lost my confidence when those relationships ended.

Edited July 21, 2018 by CuteCornDog

[Truth]

30 minutes ago, CuteCornDog said:

I see relationships and humans as worthless except for stuff that's sexual.

Seven years ago, I wasn't this way.

I got along a lot better when I was younger and wasn't judgmental.

What happened was that I cared about people that ended up taking advantage of me and lost my confidence when those relationships ended.

So, it's not so much that you see relationships and humans as worthless, it's more that people took advantage of you. 

You gotta open your heart back up to having real love for yourself and others again. Matt Khan can help show you how to love yourself, what actual love is and how to create it. Also Leo has a video about tapping into unconditional love. 

If you're feeling any resistance going in this direction, then that's EXACTLY what you need. 

 

I'll also add doing some shamanic breath work.

 

Edited July 21, 2018 by Truth

[Prabhaker]

23 minutes ago, CuteCornDog said:

I see relationships and humans as worthless

Unfortunately yes, but idea of relationships arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. Somehow one wants to remain engaged. That engagement may be with people, may be with work.

We are born alone, we will be dying alone, and deep down we are living alone. To escape from it, the only way is to be in a crowd, to become part of a society, to have friends, to create a family, to have husbands and wives, to have children.

[CuteCornDog]

Wow.

Cool replies here.

[aurum]

4 hours ago, CuteCornDog said:

I see relationships and humans as worthless

"I see me as worthless".

They're your mirror.

I'd suggest doing some work on opening your heart chakra. Reiki can be a powerful tool for this. Also try socializing more.

[sargam]

On 7/21/2018 at 0:46 PM, CuteCornDog said:

I see relationships and humans as worthless except for stuff that's sexual.

Seven years ago, I wasn't this way.

I got along a lot better with people when I was younger and wasn't judgmental.

What happened was that I cared about people that ended up taking advantage of me and lost my confidence when those relationships ended.

Well, I see you have been hurt and you are disappointed.

Please don't get sad and hateful as not all people are the same.

You will find true love if you learn to stop sulking and start living with a joyous heart.

A positive attitude will take you a long way. 

This is preachy but will help you in long run and you will thank me for it.

[CuteCornDog]

19 hours ago, sargam said:

Well, I see you have been hurt and you are disappointed.

Please don't get sad and hateful as not all people are the same.

You will find true love if you learn to stop sulking and start living with a joyous heart.

A positive attitude will take you a long way. 

This is preachy but will help you in long run and you will thank me for it.

I like this post except the second part of the last sentence.

[NoSelfSelf]

You need people similar to you but first you need to be authentic and thats rare...

[CuteCornDog]

7 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You need people similar to you but first you need to be authentic and thats rare...

I don't believe good things exist in other people except for stuff that's sexual.

I get zero enjoyment out of connecting with anyone and don't think this is ever going to change.

Edited July 23, 2018 by CuteCornDog

[sargam]

@CuteCornDog I am sorry if the second part of the sentence hurt you.

What I wanted to say was the person may not realize the importance of a positive attitude now but if he develops it by following my words, he will be grateful that he listened to me

[Ayilton]

On 7/21/2018 at 9:16 AM, CuteCornDog said:

I see relationships and humans as worthless except for stuff that's sexual.

Seven years ago, I wasn't this way.

 

It seems that your sexual cravings are clouding all your human interaction . 

Maybe you are experiencing a period of non purpose... Meaningless in relationships. 

In either case the best solution is to contemplate and gain some self reflection. Remember non duality you are the other person. It's all one  ! 

First connect within 

[NoSelfSelf]

@CuteCornDog I know how it is but to say it will never change is bs you lack emphaty towards people and have a big ego 

[ajasatya]

20 hours ago, CuteCornDog said:

I don't believe good things exist in other people except for stuff that's sexual.

what good exists in you other than sexual stuff? if you're expecting something from others that you can't offer to yourself then you're just being hypocrite. hypocrisy makes your life miserable very quickly.

[CuteCornDog]

14 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@CuteCornDog I know how it is but to say it will never change is bs you lack emphaty towards people and have a big ego 

I think you're the one who lacks empathy for me.

I have been extremely nice to people and they haven't been that way towards me.

Big ego? I've met some people with big egos and I'm not one of them.

[Michael569]

@CuteCornDog  what happened to the dog's picture? 

[CuteCornDog]

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

@CuteCornDog  what happened to the dog's picture? 

I changed my avatar because I wanted to.

[NoSelfSelf]

@CuteCornDog see you are nice towards people with self agenda thats not being nice i think you have nice guy syndrome you should read no more mr nice guy and saying that other people have huge ego is your projection on them covering your huge ego thats not obvious to you obviously if you had no ego you wouldnt have problem with others and you could accept anyone its all on you it has always been

[CuteCornDog]

2 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@CuteCornDog see you are nice towards people with self agenda thats not being nice i think you have nice guy syndrome you should read no more mr nice guy and saying that other people have huge ego is your projection on them covering your huge ego thats not obvious to you obviously if you had no ego you wouldnt have problem with others and you could accept anyone its all on you it has always been

You don't know what I'm talking about with the ego crap.

Edited July 25, 2018 by CuteCornDog

[Arkandeus]

On 7/23/2018 at 5:04 PM, CuteCornDog said:

I don't believe good things exist in other people except for stuff that's sexual.

I get zero enjoyment out of connecting with anyone and don't think this is ever going to change.

you are right, the present moment is eternal, so what is now, is so for an eternity while it is now

sex is also connection, I say do it, be who you are

 but don't start disbelieving in your heart, your heart is still here and it can be your buddy in this exploration if this is how you want to do this

there is nothing wrong with wanting to connect sexually, even if that is your primary and sole purpose

dont let society make yourself believe that you're a heartless bastard, don't buy into it

sex is love

Edited July 26, 2018 by Arkandeus

[DavidBorja]

As long as you see people as a useable resource, you'll keep being frustrated by relationships. What are your interests? Maybe tapping into those will heal you more than forcing yourself to hang out with people if you're stuck in pessimism about the interactions.

Having interests and engaging them is really important for mental health and self worth. When you have those in place, you might feel yourself more "ready" to be around other people, because you won't need them to entertain you; you already know how to entertain yourself. Then you're a little bit more present to actually connecting with them about their life, interests, opinions, etc.

Also, you seem to have an argumentative streak and are discounting what people are saying in this thread. If you spend a lof of your time focusing on what people are saying that you think is wrong, instead of trying to find what you might agree with, you'll continue pushing people away. Online and in person.

Further, if people hurt you in the past, take a look at the Limiting Beliefs episode Leo shot a while back. It had some powerful questions regarding how we limit  ourselves as a form of self protection. I think what you've gone through fits the bill perfectly.

Lastly I'll quickly say that I've gone through similar issues myself. Struggling a lot with thoughts of "But what will people think of me! It's safer to just stay alone." That works short term for soul searching and healing. I found over time that some of my happiest moments have always been in the presence of other people, and my personal successes are only sweetened when I have close friends to cheer me on.

Hope that makes sense or helps in some way.