The fat unconfident EFFECTIVE man

[Truth]

37 minutes ago, Arkandeus said:

this to me my friend is the essence of my personal enlightenment, when I finally decided to stop putting on my student shoes, putting down my training belt, I started surfing the waves of the universe

Why would I not want things to be easy and comfortable? Isn't that the whole point, one cannot live happily if he does not chose to live a happy life

what you just said can pretty much sum up the entirety of my consciousness work, the decision for life to be easy, really easy

Yet, I still I don't think you've realized that the uncomfortable/hard life is actually where you want to ultimately rest your laurels. That is the process, that is the easy/comfortable life/happy life. That's the paradox/counter intuitive move here that I don't think you're understanding.

Because if you understood that then being out of your "stream" wouldn't be a problem at all and you wouldn't hate dates, or feel odd talking with them, and nothing would feel tiring or hollow, it would just be your natural happy go lucky process without passing judgements. (not to say judgements are bad but you understand)

Edited July 21, 2018 by Truth

[Arkandeus]

3 minutes ago, Truth said:

Yet, I still I don't think you've realized that the uncomfortable/hard life is actually where you want to ultimately rest your laurels. That is the process, that is the easy/comfortable life/happy life. That's the paradox/counter intuitive move here that I don't think you're understanding.

Because if you understood that being out of your "stream" wouldn't be a problem at all and you wouldn't hate dates, or feel odd talking with them, and nothing would feel tiring or hollow, it would just be your natural happy go lucky process without passing judgements. (not to say judgements are bad but you understand)

uncomfortable means uncomfortable

to try and ignore your feelings, to forge through, to create a mindset where suffering is beneficial in some way is the path of power, to continually sacrifice your present self for future prospects, projected assets, requires a created and a maintained model of the world

if you deem uncomfortableness and a hard life to be your temporary place of learning, then where do you get your good feelings from?

your prospected advantages, situated in a mental future, you mean to tell me this will ultimately bring you to genuinely feel good in the present moment?

perhaps you will be so resistant to suffering and uncomfortableness you will enlighten suddenly, who knows

if we apply this mindset to human relationships,one will feel less guilty maybe even proud to make someone else uncomfortable, after all its for their own good? any uncomfortableness that they feel is ultimately them getting one step closer to happiness

I know this is a ridiculous comparison, but actually it really isn't, if you deeply believe something you will end affecting others in regards to that belief, it is inevitable, this is the path of power and quick results, it is dark

 

have you considered that chosing the easy path does not mean no learning, it might mean learning when you dont expect it because you're not focused on it, you let go of learning

 

I'll even drop this one, have you considered that you're more comfortable making yourself uncomfortable and pushing through attaining a sense of power, then being comfortable, taking the easy way, cruising, and not really having this sense of struggle and power? this might be your real discomfort zone?

it comes down to the tough guy weak guy argument

who's tougher, the guy living life being tough, or the guy living life being weak? knowing that being weak makes life tougher to live

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Truth said:

--> Attraction/Curiosity

--> Attraction/Curiosity + Rapport

--> Attraction/Curiosity + Rapport + Seduction

Like I said. It's just a part. It's not the "one particular trait" that he has.

and I referred to it as the "big" part because personally I feel without seduction you can't really create the passion, which is what I'm ultimately for. 

What I'm saying is that my attractions come about spontaneously and without seduction. They happen when he's not even there. And part of the thing that makes me attracted is not knowing whether or not he's interested. So, the attraction happening (for me) is not active on the man's part. He's just being himself, and I start to get attracted without him doing anything other than being himself. 

[Truth]

 

4 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

uncomfortable means uncomfortable

to try and ignore your feelings, to forge through, to create a mindset where suffering is beneficial in some way is the path of power, to continually sacrifice your present self for future prospects, projected assets, requires a created and a maintained model of the world

if you deem uncomfortableness and a hard life to be your temporary place of learning, then where do you get your good feelings from?

your prospected advantages, situated in a mental future, you mean to tell me this will ultimately bring you to genuinely feel good in the present moment?

perhaps you will be so resistant to suffering and uncomfortableness you will enlighten suddenly, who knows

if we apply this mindset to human relationships,one will feel less guilty maybe even proud to make someone else uncomfortable, after all its for their own good? any uncomfortableness that they feel is ultimately them getting one step closer to happiness

I know this is a ridiculous comparison, but actually it really isn't, if you deeply believe something you will end affecting others in regards to that belief, it is inevitable, this is the path of power and quick results, it is dark

 

have you considered that chosing the easy path does not mean no learning, it might mean learning when you dont expect it because you're not focused on it, you let go of learning

 

I'll even drop this one, have you considered that you're more comfortable making yourself uncomfortable and pushing through attaining a sense of power, then being comfortable, taking the easy way, cruising, and not really having this sense of struggle and power? this might be your real discomfort zone?

it comes down to the tough guy weak guy argument

who's tougher, the guy living life being tough, or the guy living life being weak? knowing that being weak makes life tougher to live

I'm not ignoring my feelings, I'm just not being overtaken by them. There's nothing wrong with seeing how your suffering is helping you. And there's nothing wrong with maintaining a sense of confidence (what you're calling power), "sacrificing" your present self for future prospects is what I call hope and faith. You can't maintain a mental model of the world if you don't know the future, unless you KNOW that that future is unknowable. It might surprise you to know that your cultivation of faith is proportionate to your level of happiness. So yes it does ultimately make me feel good in the present moment knowing I have the confidence to face the unknown.

My good feelings come from choosing to let people elicit them out of me and letting people affect me, and also by loving myself more not less if I don't feel like I'm getting the love I think I deserve. 

I'm not resisting suffering and uncomfortableness, I'm actually embracing it. There definitely is a possibly of being proud to make someone uncomfortable but you gotta understand I don't assume they're thinking like I do, that would be a mistake. For most people I find that discomfort does not equal happiness because I wouldn't get this "uncomfortable" vibe/reaction in the first place. 

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if you deeply believe something you will end affecting others in regards to that belief,

Exactly. What do you show someone when you're comfortable being uncomfortable? Confidence. There's nothing dark about it depending on their own interpretations.

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have you considered that chosing the easy path does not mean no learning, it might mean learning when you dont expect it because you're not focused on it, you let go of learning

I don't know about you but for me being caught off guard or not expecting something is not a good strategy in life. Yeah, you can let go of learning but it's not gonna stop the pattern from potentially reoccurring in the future.

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have you considered that you're more comfortable making yourself uncomfortable and pushing through attaining a sense of power, then being comfortable, taking the easy way, cruising, and not really having this sense of struggle and power? this might be your real discomfort zone?

I am comfortable being uncomfortable that's what creates the faith and confidence in myself. My ultimate goal is not focused on struggle and discomfort. I just recognize that struggle and discomfort is something to be embraced fully. 

A "tough" guy is confident and secure in himself dealing with the biggest obstacles and challenges in life. a "weak" guy isn't, it's really that simple. It's not about some competitive dynamic of someone being tougher than someone else. It's about how grounded and imperturbable are you in the storms? I don't know about you but for me I want my girl to have that trust and confidence in me that I can handle her emotions and whatever life throws at me.  

Edited July 22, 2018 by Truth

[Truth]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

What I'm saying is that my attractions come about spontaneously and without seduction. They happen when he's not even there. And part of the thing that makes me attracted is not knowing whether or not he's interested. So, the attraction happening (for me) is not active on the man's part. He's just being himself, and I start to get attracted without him doing anything other than being himself. 

Unless his intent and seduction method is to show he's not interested because he's seeing signs from you that it's making you attracted  But I get what you're saying. I'm a guy. Just the sight of a beautiful women especially if she's smiling I'm instantly attracted. But when it comes to a relationship and there's no seduction/touching then what do you really have? Do you really have the highest quality relationship possible? you have a good friendship at best with a splash of intimacy. And I don't know about you but that's not what I want for me and for my girl, I want to bring everything to the table at max capacity if I am capable.

Edited July 22, 2018 by Truth

[Arkandeus]

5 hours ago, Truth said:

a  "tough" guy is confident and secure in himself dealing with the biggest obstacles and challenges in life. a "weak" guy isn't, it's really that simple. It's not about some competitive dynamic of someone being tougher than someone else. It's about how grounded and imperturbable are you in the storms? I don't know about you but for me I want my girl to have that trust and confidence in me that I can handle her emotions and whatever life throws

allright I will admit that the tough guy weak argument is bullshit, I phrased it badly, what I meant by it is that to me there is no weak and tough, its quite relative. Anyhow it doesn't really make a point but I like your opinion on it, that love is good

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I don't know about you but for me being caught off guard or not expecting something is not a good strategy in life. Yeah, you can let go of learning but it's not gonna stop the pattern from potentially reoccurring in the future.

true but do your strategies have the power to oversee the past, the future and an infinite amount of parallel realities? 

the ability to directly communicate with any other soul on earth in order to create synchronisation events in your life for you to grow?

this is the higher self and he's I leave the strategies and quantum calculations in.

This my personal reality though, I'd understand if you do not believe in this.

 

Yes there is nothing wrong with a sense of power. It is a fine line to walk

my general sense is that one should never compare your power to someone else, the moment you start measuring you are in a dark mindset

I say this only as advice cause I can clearly feel your heart is in the right place, its pretty awesome what you're doing, the path to enlightenment are infinite thats what makes it so fun, you're def doing good in my opinion!

[sargam]

On 7/21/2018 at 0:05 PM, F A B said:

Recently I flirted with this girl. We had a couple of dates, but nothing happened.

Now I find out that she got involved with an ugly fat unconfident man. I'm shocked.

Not to brag, but I think I'm far more attractive than him.

I mean, I'm happy for them, but I feel bad about myself. I'm disappointed in me. I miss something here.

Well one cant catch all the fish in the sea, so there is no point to sulk or keep wondering why the girl you wanted to be with chose another man over you. Maybe he did or said something right that clicked. Being fat or ugly may not have bothered her as she chose him over you.

[Truth]

17 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

true but do your strategies have the power to oversee the past, the future and an infinite amount of parallel realities? 

There's the rub! lol

There are limitations here of course, you can't account for every contingency, but you can summon your highest wisdom and let your highest intuition take course and start developing the ability to trust in that (basically what you said about leaving the strategies to the higher self).

 

17 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

the ability to directly communicate with any other soul on earth in order to create synchronisation events in your life for you to grow?

What you call "synchronization events" I call balance. And that's the ultimate dynamic I think we're all going for. I want immaculate balance for everything I'm doing in my life, and being able to balance relationships and your entire life including other things is not easy work, but at the same time it's the best work I could ever be doing with my life. 

 

17 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

Yes there is nothing wrong with a sense of power. It is a fine line to walk

my general sense is that one should never compare your power to someone else, the moment you start measuring you are in a dark mindset

I say this only as advice cause I can clearly feel your heart is in the right place, its pretty awesome what you're doing, the path to enlightenment are infinite thats what makes it so fun, you're def doing good in my opinion!

As I said before, it's not about a competitive dynamic at all/ comparing power, so we're definitely in an agreement there  but at the same time that comparing power can reveal a lot of limitations within yourself that you can improve, so I feel it's necessary and it has it's place, it doesn't necessarily mean it's a "dark mindset", but it definitely can be in extreme cases and  it could potentially turn into neurosis so I see what you mean

Edited July 23, 2018 by Truth

[F A B]

On 22/7/2018 at 1:04 PM, sargam said:

Well one cant catch all the fish in the sea

Ahahaha nice metaphor. Simple and clear.

(Anyway I assure you I'm not that kind of guy)

Thank you

[sargam]

@F A B Glad I could make u smile

[Arkandeus]

On 7/22/2018 at 1:28 AM, Emerald said:

What I'm saying is that my attractions come about spontaneously and without seduction. They happen when he's not even there. And part of the thing that makes me attracted is not knowing whether or not he's interested. So, the attraction happening (for me) is not active on the man's part. He's just being himself, and I start to get attracted without him doing anything other than being himself. 

sort of weird to me

whats attractive about not knowing if a man is attracted to you or not?

there's always this strategy in pua that says not to act too invested in a girl, not to display too much attraction towards her

to me these are games I'm not willing to play but they seem to be effective

so Im a tad curious, what's attractive about not knowing if a man likes you?

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

sort of weird to me

whats attractive about not knowing if a man is attracted to you or not?

there's always this strategy in pua that says not to act too invested in a girl, not to display too much attraction towards her

to me these are games I'm not willing to play but they seem to be effective

so Im a tad curious, what's attractive about not knowing if a man likes you?

For me, context and anticipation matter a ton. So, if I know that a guy likes me right off the bat and it's obvious right away, it takes all the tension away. And I need tension to build up strong emotion towards him, which is necessary for me to want to be with him romantically. 

And if he comes off as interested right away, I don't get to wonder and fantasize about that moment when the tension of not knowing his feelings or intentions gives way to intimacy. 

Plus, if a guy leads right away with his sexuality and interest in me, it makes me feel like he's not very selective with his mates and (perhaps) that he doesn't have very good self control. And because feeling like he wants me in particular is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs, if I feel like he's approaching a lot of girls just like he approached me it just takes all the fun out of it because it takes the specialness out of it. 

So, it's all about tension, anticipation, and mystery and wondering if I've gotten into his head like he has mine. 

And I would imagine that most women are similar. 

Edited July 25, 2018 by Emerald

[Arkandeus]

28 minutes ago, Emerald said:

For me, context and anticipation matter a ton. So, if I know that a guy likes me right off the bat and it's obvious right away, it takes all the tension away. And I need tension to build up strong emotion towards him, which is necessary for me to want to be with him romantically. 

And if he comes off as interested right away, I don't get to wonder and fantasize about that moment when the tension of not knowing his feelings or intentions gives way to intimacy. 

Plus, if a guy leads right away with his sexuality and interest in me, it makes me feel like he's not very selective with his mates and (perhaps) that he doesn't have very good self control. And because feeling like he wants me in particular is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs, if I feel like he's approaching a lot of girls just like he approached me it just takes all the fun out of it because it takes the specialness out of it. 

So, it's all about tension, anticipation, and mystery and wondering if I've gotten into his head like he has mine. 

And I would imagine that most women are similar. 

very interesting, thanks for sharing

In my personal experience of masculinity I just go straight to the point, that's my motto, I like to act how it is

Edited July 25, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Truth]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

So, it's all about tension, anticipation, and mystery

Jeez, you sound like a kid on christmas eve lol

Edited July 25, 2018 by Truth

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Truth said:

Jeez, you sound like a kid on christmas eve lol

That's a pretty good analogy. Like I said it's all about context and anticipation. 

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

very interesting, thanks for sharing

In my personal experience of masculinity I just go straight to the point, that's my motto, I like to act how it is

You're welcome.

But I have to be honest when I say, (generally speaking) that 'straight to the point' stuff is really boring and unsatisfying for women. Chances are, you're going to put your lady to sleep because you're not giving her any intellectual stimulation and you're not really optimally emotionally stimulating her either.

Women don't get aroused with their body until their minds and emotions are stimulated. But the way that intellectual/emotional stimulation happens is to guess what's going on in the mind of the guy she's attracted to and how he thinks and feels about her. That's why a good sign that a woman likes you is if she asks what you're thinking about. 

So, by employing a bit of mystery and ambiguity, she will appreciate that a lot more because she gets to figure you out and pick up on your intentions in a subtle way. 

So, a man saying "I like getting straight to the point", is the equivalent of a woman saying "I like to skip the sex and go straight to the cuddling."

And if you're nice (like most women in these matters), you'll just kind of go along with it and do what she likes. Plus, even if she did tell you that's what she wants, it would ruin the mystery by default. So, she's really hoping that you will just get it. And she will NEVER tell you this is what she wants because telling your ruins the guessing game and the tension and anticipation it creates. 

[Truth]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

That's a pretty good analogy. Like I said it's all about context and anticipation.

Sorry, I couldn't help it.

[Emerald]

14 minutes ago, Truth said:

Sorry, I couldn't help it.

There have been times when this was an apt analogy for what the anticipation lead to... 

[Truth]

50 minutes ago, Emerald said:

There have been times when this was an apt analogy for what the anticipation lead to... 

Holy shizz, your right, also that entire movie is a perfect analogy but obviously the movie is more on the dark side hahaha.

Edited July 26, 2018 by Truth

[Barbarian Number 8]

@F A B  You look fit. The outside is ok. Maybe the inside needs some work?

Also, consider that we go for what we want and need. She went for that variation of company. What does that tell you?

 

As a sidenote, women are not that visiual, as men are, they are emotional, as men aren´t. ...To point out the extremes. So there is a differens in value estimation.

 

It all boils down to making a good match. The lists of attributes must be compatible as can be. There is no "better than", only matching to one.