15g Magic Truffles Trip Report

[Frankie10]

This will be my first trip report, so I am not quite sure how I best should write it in terms of structure and how many ‘details’ to include, which brings me right into it…What the fuck do I call ‘details’ and what is ‘essential’ ?! I will just let myself guide by my feeling. But step by step…

Right now, I am so completely drained of energy that I wonder how I can still type this haha, I feel like I have climbed Mount Everest and came down again in one day… But let’s take a step back to the start of the day, which was at 5 am. I had to drive my girlfriend to the airport so I had a looong day ahead of me, which I used to trip on 15g of Dragon Slayer Magic Truffles. That’s a nice thing about Amsterdam, buying them from a confidential source and not having to worry about doing something illegal, which would otherwise have the potential to make me insecure while tripping outside. So after I had used the advantage of being up so early to go for a run, meditate etc. (I recognized that I LOVE early mornings and that getting up early has potential to change your life!!). I biked to the city to get the truffles and ate them back home on empty stomach, after which I biked to the spot I wanted to start my trip at, right next to a big lake and surrounded by lush green nature. I’ve had a few Mushroom trips before this one, but this was the first one I took outdoors and at a higher dose than the ones before. My approach with psychedelics is to slowly build up on the doses, to get a feeling for the nuances of this work. And YES I, respectively my ego, is afraid of just taking higher doses more or less cold turkey, so I prefer taking a more methodological approach and working myself up. And it definitely proves to be the right way to go!  
During the come up, I am quite relaxed but monkey mind is at full force I have set the intention of being fully open to all the information I receive and trying to absorb as much as possible coupled with just wanting to enjoy this beautiful day and place, because these trips have shown to be like therapy for me. After about an hour I feel energy filling my body and streaming relentlessly. I mainly just observe the beautiful nature around me including a swan just appearing and disappearing in front of me and just doing its thing -MAJESTIC! The Mushroom just connects me more with nature, it’s like penetrating to deeper levels of existence, away from ego and back to the roots of humanity and existence. You get placed right into nature and away from the usual view that WE are here and NATURE is there outside of us. It’s kind of funny trying to articulate and explain this experience, because it’s utterly indescribable, as everyone with psychedelic experience knows! But here I am trying to do this anyway  
    After staying at this spot for a while I eat the rest of the truffles and get going to explore the surrounding area. At this point, I am completely stunned by the beauty of this place and there is no ‘me’ to pinpoint , it is like existence is observing existence… Either way, the entity I call myself feels pure love and wonder seeing people chatting, meditating, reading, swimming etc. I see that being alive and experiencing all of this is the greatest gift there is, and we all received this gift but most of us do not accept/appreciate it… The peace and content I felt observing people, animals ,and plants was something I have never experienced before. For example, I crossed ways with a pit bull, who I probably would kind of avoid in a normal state but here I immediately felt that the dog is curious and wants to examine me but that he is not interested in petting or so, which was kind of a cool connection we had there, like communicating on a deeper level.
    Aftwerwards, I found myself a nice place under a big tree and just lay there, when I started to get one juicy nugget of wisdom (as Leo calls them ;)) after the other… WOW! I don’t remember many of them but they were just so accurate and you could really feel that they were true. It kind of felt like I already knew all these things and that they just came up from below the surface. At the same time though it did not feel as if ‘I’ thought these things, they just came to me, which must be something like a universal intelligence or something… but a deeply personal experience.
I really felt that all my theoretical knowledge from Leo’s videos, the books I read etc. was melting together and I experienced these things to be true, which felt so good and made me deeply appreciate the quality of Leo’s work and was kind of a gift to me for my work in the past 2 years. 
    Moreover, I lost every sense of time, 2 minutes could literally feel like an hour. I literally experienced the saying that: ‘No man steps into the same river twice, for the man is not the same man and the river is not the same river’ – nice stuff to actually experience one of your favorite quotes to be true. I also saw that existence has infinitely many different perspectives and facets, that it is twisted and counterintuitive, surely not only predictable and ‘dead’ stuff. I also got some insights into the problems I have with relationships, where I often doubt my love for my girlfriend, and I saw that I love her completely but that usually my needy self is at work and does not allow for true, genuine love. But love goes way deeper than just feelings, which is what I always get frustrated over because I do not feel as deeply as I want to/think to be ‘right’. 
    At this point, I really regret not having brought along my notebook I usually have around at trips, because this one was by far the deepest and I had to let go a lot of potentially transformative insights. But I know that they can still be found somewhere deeper in myself. After all of this, I walked back with a big grin on my face, just kind of laughing at myself and the irony of existence. I felt like a young boy trying to find the meaning of life and what it entails haha. But also saw the potential for delusion, asking questions like what is true? Are not all words and thus thoughts ‘false’ since they are only symbols? So I got a bit uneasy and nervous for a few seconds because I feared that I may never see the Truth. But I then got the insight that all these thoughts and nuggets of wisdom are still basically only distractions or side effects from just being, witnessing. I think that it is important to not paralyze in front of these HUGE questions but to just stay curious and open.
    After this, I was riding my rusty bike home, completely and utterly drained of energy, both emotionally, spiritually and physically but happy as rarely before! I felt connected to this life on a much deeper level and felt like I solved some of the uncountable mysteries of this life.

Main Takeaways/lessons from this trip: 
-     I see how focussing on one specific question or facet of existence with psychedelics can be so powerful, it seems like one has infinite creativity and intelligence -> have to start doing serious self-inquiry
-    I got more existential questions than answers but this is a good starting point for deeper investigation -> what is all of this REALLY?
-    seeing that raising consciousness is the most important thing there is to do! That basically everything else can be considered a distraction. I want to take it all to the end, solving the mystery of existence
-    the psychedelic will always give you an experience that matches your current level of awareness -> I went surprisingly deep with these truffles

In case someone read this until the very end, thank you! Leave me any remarks you may have. Either way this is a helpful report to come back on my own journey. Still left out A LOT but it is just not possible to conceive the whole experience in words. After doing some more consciousness work and theory, I want to explore LSD and higher doses of mushrooms.

Have a nice day, 

Fränk  
 

[PsiloPutty]

28 minutes ago, Frankie10 said:

I started to get one juicy nugget of wisdom (as Leo calls them ;)) after the other… WOW! I don’t remember many of them but they were just so accurate and you could really feel that they were true. It kind of felt like I already knew all these things and that they just came up from below the surface.

Cool, man. I can relate to what you said above.