How do I know if this is the right thing?

[Max_V]

After a lot of digging, becoming a writer is what is most prominent in my mind. I think about it all the time. Yet, I have a lot of trouble deciding that this is what I will choose for life. From an early age I've always been someone with an all or nothing approach. If I decide I want to do something I commit to it until the end. This is exactly what is making it so difficult for me to fully commit to this path. How do I know I'm making the right choice? How do I know I won't regret this? So much fear and limiting beliefs are going through my mind that it's very difficult to separate if I truly don't feel sure about this or if my fears are effecting my perspective on becoming a writer.

It is just so frustrating not knowing what to do, it makes me crazy.

I'd like some help with this.

[RabbitHole]

I am also thinking about writing, because I really do love It and I write a lot, currently just for myself, but also have my future plans. Also as I'm studying now I see that in every project I get maximum grade and my projects are much more complicated and better formulated, styled etc, so I am actually able to write, also I can write a loooot in very short time. 

But as this is not something that you can trust as your main source as income, I study different field and will write in my free time until I feel like sharing my content with public. I would say going all in, in writing is kinda risky, because It might take a lot of time to be turned into source of income, so take another passion that can generate money, write in free time and when you see that you could be full time writer go for It.

I believe best start would be staring a blog, It's best place to start as writer, as It takes way less effort and time than writing a book. This is also very good money maker, when you start earning from It, start writing books.

This for sure is just my opinion, but I would say start with writing as side project and start with blogging.

[aurum]

10 hours ago, Max_V said:

How do I know I'm making the right choice? How do I know I won't regret this?

Here's some truth. You don't.

Everyone has life purpose confused. It's not something you're just handed, it's something you evolve into over time through ACTION. You have to dive into what is motivating you right now.

For instance, when I was 19 years old, I became obsessed with studying different religions. I was raised Catholic and had a lot of fucked up beliefs that needed to be released. Then after about a year of that, I was done. The motivation was gone.

That isn't a bad thing. That was a necessary experience for me to be able to do what I'm doing right now. 

The reality is that when you're young, you lack self-awareness and experience. You have to take the journey to discover these things.

As romantic as it sounds that you can just go into the woods for a weekend and discover your life purpose, I've never seen it happen that way. You evolve and adapt over time.

Let's say you write for a couple years and then eventually decide you want to quit. Good. All that means is you've gotten closer to your truth. I don't even expect that I'll do what I'm doing forever.

Take the thing that's right in front of you. If it's motivating you, IT IS GOOD.

[Hello from Russia]

 

[Max_V]

@aurum Thank you for your comment.

I've since found that I indeed want to write right now, it feels authentic. Even though there is still some doubt in how I feel about it, I will pursue it and see where it leads me.

Writing to make people have a deeper connection with life, seems to be my Life Purpose.

[Nahm]

On 7/22/2018 at 0:20 PM, Max_V said:

Writing to make people have a deeper connection with life, seems to be my Life Purpose

That’s beautiful. 

Take a few deep breaths, and feel into that. It powerful enough for ten lifetimes. Scary powerful, I know. Visualize it going ideally, comfortably, divinely for you - life is a divine gift, just for you to live and enjoy. Visualize the network connections unfolding for you in good time, just as needed. Know that you will have the confidence, as needed. You will grow, perfectly as needed. One step presenting itself perfectly as you’re ready; not too soon, and not too late. The intention is for life to unfold for you in a timely fashion, such that you enjoy it. 

Tune into the now of it - that is the only place you’ll find the joy.  

Implying there is too much to do and not enough time to do it (overthinking), is depressive. In this, do fun things just for you to feel great. 

Too much time and not doing enough (laziness), is frustrating. In this, look to better align your eating, sleeping, and clean up your thinking. 

 

There is a “Goldilocks”, or a Middle Way, which is to be present and satisfied with where everything is, right now. 

If you were to flash forward at lightening speed and have everything you want immediately accomplished - then what would be the point of living?

Would you want every delicious meal you’ll ever eat sitting in front of you right now to scarf down like a barbarian? Of course not. You want to enjoy each one, in time. 

The point of living, is to live it. Not to have some thing, or to have accomplished it - but to live it.

To not know, and do it anyways, that’s as beautiful as life can be. That is real personal development. That is faith. 

You will need this deep, deep connection with your life, if you are to write about it. You will need to live it, if you are to show others how.

I’d meditate, calm it all down with stomach breathe focus, and simply, humbly, ask the infinite within you - what’s the next step, what’s today’s step for me. What is this gift of today you have so graciously given me? Whatever arises, Let that be enough. 

You will need to make every single other facet of your life, and all of your choices secondary to being able to wake up in the morning, and sit, and be in that place - to be in right now. No choice in eating, drinking, how you use your word with others, how you think of others, etc...no choice can infringe. Every choice must support this vision. 

[ajasatya]

@Max_V getting lost in the mind instead of having the actual experience is a common mistake for human beings.

the answer is simple: don't commit. instead, start playing with it; start writing already. see how it feels and watch yourself grow as you dive deeper.

that's how i live. the only commitment i have is with the practice of virtues, which improve my life drastically.

[Max_V]

@Nahm Your message is so deep and carry so much wisdom, I'll have to go back to it again and again. 

I have a hard time trusting that wherever life leads me, it'll get me on the right path eventually. It feels like I need to neurotically control everything so that I can get the outcome of a fulfilling and beautiful life. How do I gain this trust? I'd like to just relax and let everything happen as it is supposed to happen, but something inside of me says that if I do that, I won't have control over what will happen and that will potentially lead me to tragedy.

8 hours ago, Nahm said:

You will need this deep, deep connection with your life, if you are to write about it. You will need to live it, if you are to show others how.

I've been trying to find a way to deepen this connection with life. One of the most beautiful moments during my day lately is going to the park, sitting under a tree, and start admiring how the branches and leaves move when the wind blows through it. Moments like that really make realise that life is happening, and most of the time I'm unaware of it's essence.

How do I reach a point where I'm connected enough with life to help others? It's a question I ask myself a lot, and have a lot of trouble answering.

Thank you.

 

@ajasatya  Even though I'd say your suggestion is very interesting, I don't know how I will find the motivation to master something without there being complete and deep commitment. I don't know how I can go all the way with something without completely committing. 

I usually have a very all or nothing approach to everything. Commitment is one of my top values.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Max_V said:

I have a hard time trusting that wherever life leads me, it'll get me on the right path eventually. It feels like I need to neurotically control everything so that I can get the outcome of a fulfilling and beautiful life. How do I gain this trust? I'd like to just relax and let everything happen as it is supposed to happen, but something inside of me says that if I do that, I won't have control over what will happen and that will potentially lead me to tragedy

Trust daily morning meditation. If that’s not enough, then meditate again in the afternoon, 30 mins each. I believe mental stress is 99% induced by sugar, bread, and lack of meditation & exercise. 

Beyond that, increase awareness of what is controllable in life; your decisions, your actions, and your words. Accept that is all you have control over. If you are feeling stressed, it is not because of what is happening (almost always) it’s because you are not controlling what you know you can, or worrying about what you know you can’t. Writing these things on paper makes it intensely clearer than floating around in your head. Make two columns, “what I can control”, “What I can’t control”, and whatever is on your mind, whatever is worrisome, write it in one of the columns. It’s a simple yet emotionally powerful thing to do, very liberating. 

You are already living a “fulfilling & beautiful” life, you just have some monkey mind going which is thinking that it is other than that. (Meditation, twice a day...trust me on this, it’ll enhance the rest of your life cumulatively)

I think there’s a significant event in your past which leads you to take an uncertain unknown and exciting future, and project onto it “potentially lead me to tragedy”. Try to realize where you learned that habit of thinking / worrying about the future, shine the awareness on it, and be free from it. The most exciting thing in life, is not knowing the future. Imagine if you did...what would there be to do? Why would there be you living this life? Consider making a vision board. It’s very powerful. I use half of my basement walls. It works. 

The point of life, is to enjoy it - the adventure is that we don’t know what will happen. We are very lucky for that. I don’t know what will happen five minutes from right now, and I find that fascinating. Impossibly possible.  

2 hours ago, Max_V said:

've been trying to find a way to deepen this connection with life. One of the most beautiful moments during my day lately is going to the park, sitting under a tree, and start admiring how the branches and leaves move when the wind blows through it. Moments like that really make realise that life is happening, and most of the time I'm unaware of it's essence.

How do I reach a point where I'm connected enough with life to help others? It's a question I ask myself a lot, and have a lot of trouble answering

That’s awesome. Deepening the connection with life, is through deepening the connection with yourself. Again, meditation is the way. 

You are already ‘connected enough to help others’, and doing so will bring you exactly what you’re wanting - a deeper connection. 

[Nahm]

@Max_V 2 practices came to mind that you can do any time of day, and after a few days you’ll start to notice a shift. 

One is to consider that all that is within your awareness, what you see, hear, smell, touch, etc - that - is all there is. There is nothing beyond the tree line in the distance, there is nothing on the other side of the wall. After a few days of being mindful of this, there is a sort of shrinking down of everything, and life begins to feel very manageable, and far less overwhelming, which helps reduce monkey mind & increase focus and awareness.

The other, is to ‘bring it in’ closer & closer to your relativity. For example...you see a commercial on tv about starving / dying kids in Africa, and you don’t feel so good. Maybe you feel guilty, like you’re life is good, but you should be helping those kids. Now ‘bring it back to relativity’...as in, realize you did not see kids in Africa, you saw a screen. What you saw on the screen is part of your story, it gives you options for what to choose next. One person will not notice the commercial at all. Another person will be deeply moved, and get on a plane, and go help those kids in Africa. Either is fine. That may strike you as counterintuitive, me saying either is fine. That serves to help you realize how you are assigning meaning to what you are aware of. This will go full circle down the road, and when it does, you’ll have all the energy & inspiration in changing the world and helping others. This is a practice of changing yourself first. The important thing is to make the distinction of what you’re actually aware of. 

[St Clair]

Hey Max! Good to see you are on the precipice of your life purpose - definitely just start doing it, and calibrate later. In writing, particularly in a blog, I see it to be a brilliant way to blaze a righteous path. If you diligently focus on consciousness work, and write about all your experiences, it will be gold because it is telling a story of how one human being found God. This is an immensely powerful thing! And as you get more conscious, you will surely develop a deep understanding of what words are really pointing to, and you will be able to communicate with much truth, wisdom, and clarity. Becoming a word wizard is most definitely a wise way to go bro ! 

[Max_V]

@St Clair Damn, awesome message!

Becoming a word wizard, i’ll keep that one  

Writing a blog is definitely a good idea, I’ll think about it. What I really want to do though is write a book that not necessarily directly points to consciousness but conveys it, just by reading the words. I don’t know how I’m going to do that, but if I find my way, It’ll be  something amazing.