I've got too many problems

[Durka_Durka]

My thinking is just fucked. Every subconscious thought and action I take seems to drag me toward hell, and directly away from where I want to go and live. I self-sabotage is everything, even easy things. And the only way I can think to be free of all this is suicide. I just don't know what to do and my parents (especially my mum) are so fucking unconscious that they don't know that they've fucked me and my sister. But my sister is equally a cu** as well. I just don't kno what to do. Basic self-help stuff is so fucking hard for me, especially because I'm still in my family's house. Basic self-help stuff that everyone seems to be able to do and it helps them, I can't even do. Because my fucking programming won't even allow it to work. 

I feel so helpless and I can't deal with the world. Suicide seems like the only way to be free

[Nahm]

When I was 22, my thinking was fucked too. I was suicidal. So glad I tried therapy, medicine, meditation, reading, and patience. I never would have guessed how unbelievable my life was later to be. Don’t quit on yourself. Good that you acknowledge your programming is where your freedom from this is. Keep doing things to help yourself, it all adds up. Don’t quit. 

Why save yourself? You don’t know what Joy is yet. You save yourself, and you will be filled with a Joy that is presently incomprehensible.  That joy will bring people into your life who are where you are right now, and when you talk to them, the unseeable, intangible, ineffable power of Love will consume you and they will feel your conviction. They will see the truth in what you did, what you learned, and they will believe they can do it too, and then they will, and one day they will tell someone else. In this you change yourself, and you change the world. 

Just don’t quit now, this is just the hard part, the ticket to get in. It will pass. 

[egoeimai]

@Durka_Durka Come on! 

Suicide is not an option! 

I know,no matter how shitty you feel and think, it doesnt have to end like this.

Why end your life cause of those stupid thoughts? 

Have a little faith.Something to hold on to even if its totally fake,not existing,a bubble . Cause life is a bubble anyway. So why not? 

 

"I look out of this window and I think this is a cosmos, this is a huge creation, this is one small corner of it. The trees and birds and everything else and I'm part of it. I didn't ask to be put here, I've been lucky in finding myself here."

Morris West

 

[Hello from Russia]

I recommend to watch these 2 videos, they should be able to help you. The main point is to take responsibility for your life which means for your parent's mistakes too, just embrace it, let go, make a strategy how to unfuck up your life and move on (Many of us are doing simillar thing too, me included).

[Marks199]

Hey there I was reading your story, You are not the only one I am also stuck in my life but dammit I won't give up here is my short self-help advice: 

1. Play chess

2. Go jogging every two days

3. Or swimming if you have a swimming pool near

4. Walk barefoot you accumulate the energy from the earth

5. If you can go somewhere you can stay and don't come home until late night

5. Meditate 

6. mindfulness

 

[Timotheus]

@Nahm

7 hours ago, Nahm said:

They will see the truth in what you did, what you learned, and they will believe they can do it too, and then they will, and one day they will tell someone else. In this you change yourself, and you change the world. 

Just don’t quit now, this is just the hard part, the ticket to get in. It will pass. 

❤️

[Durka_Durka]

@Nahm Thank you. It was a dark day for me. I've made a plan for moving forward and I know what my next little steps are. Even those are scary but they're absolutely necessary

[Durka_Durka]

@Hello from Russia I have been reading the Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and these come under the pillar of self-responsibility, when I get to it, I'll be covering this, although it can't hurt to watch alongside

[Durka_Durka]

@Marks199 Can you please explain these?

[Nahm]

@Durka_Durka ❤️

[Widdle Puppy]

I feel like a complete fucking mess right now too. I'm neurotic and just feel worthless as well. Don't know why I'm a mess, wish I wasn't a mess on the inside. I don't understand why these emotions can exist but then at times not feel this way and feel like I got my shit under control. I hate it...

[Marks199]

On 7/24/2018 at 11:31 AM, Durka_Durka said:

@Marks199 Can you please explain these?

Wich one? 

 

[Arkandeus]

I absolutely despise self-sabotage as well