Negative thoughts

[Ingit]

I have problem of negative thinking and then getting anxiety with it... So lately Im working hard on myself and practising Meditation daily its my 16 th day and Today after meditating I felt very anxious and sad... of all that anxiety emotions... What are they and why?

[SoonHei]

@Ingit hey

 

 i am quite new to this stuff also

havent done very many sessions of meditation

 

but if ur having negative thoughts, feeling anxious and sad - then that's just normal from what i have heard. meditation allows you to look within yourself and in process, those emotions/feelings you have shunned away bubble up to the surface, you just need to surrender and allow them to pass thru and out of you. that's how an old emotion/feeling/trauma is overcome... not by shunning it away but facing it head-on and surrendering to its existence as it appears

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Ingit said:

What are they and why?

KIck it up to twice a day. You’re progressing. You’ll see the answer. Thoughts are like cars on the road, just passing, they’re not yours. 

[Ingit]

@Nahm why do I think negative always I think Like only one thing and that is- “Oh Am I really Living in my real life” and after that I think this I hate myself for thinking such and then would worry like why I would think like this and the emotions seems to be real.

[Nahm]

@Ingit Why is questioning the true nature of things negative? When did you first start this negative association? 

If it is real - then what? What comes to mind for you?

If it’s not real - then what? What comes to mind for you?

Let’s get to the bottom of this / be done with it. It’s not serving you anymore. 

[Ingit]

@Nahm Actually IM in a university... I live in a Dormitory so 2 years back I used to had problems with my two room mates... I get disturbed by them and I used to study a lot I mean I am a Type A personality person.. so those times I didn’t get enough sleep, my roommates always keep me down... then soon I had my eye treatment where I felt a little worried.. I worried about my health a lot even though I was fine.... As you know I studied psychiatric subject so During those times I started fearing.. after that I changed my roommates and what I got was another roommate who used to be a depressive and very narrow minded... after that I changed with one of my senior and Now I have no problem.. but during those time till now I start doubting things.. everything I would associate a Negative aspect with things.. and then feel worried for doing that... I’m a intelligent student... I want to put my all in studying but these days I’m serious about improving myself so going on with meditation habit and watching Leo video and gaining more and more about myself sometimes I will be Good and sometimes soon will pop and Think like J told you in previous message and feel sad for doing that.

[Nahm]

Stop caring about being understood. Then what anybody does or says, even to you, is seen as of them, not you. All you have is what you say and do. That’s it. Don’t need to concern yourself with what others do and say.  Your roommates never kept you down.  You kept you down by caring about what they said. They, and the rest of us, were doing their best with what consciousness we have. There is a momentum that builds through the practice of meditation of detachment, leaving you less reactive, less intense, less tension, a whole lot less hyper focused on what people say, and even & especially thoughts. 

I don’t understand that last part. But what I think you have going on is the pressure to know and only zooming in. 

I’m betting there’s a lot of pressure to know the information that will be on tests and the finals. I believe you, that you study hard and want to learn and succeed. You’re exceptionally practiced with this. 

But I don’t know if you’ve discovered the other half of the game, the zooming out; letting all that information go - and don’t worry, it’s a practice, all that you’ve learned will still be there when you need it. I’m talking about getting out of that closet sized living, into nature, and being alone for days. I’m talking about allowing your mind to zoom out of the intense finite things you’re focusing on daily for school.  Zooming out is not-knowing, having fun, laughing, doing some things you enjoy simply for the enjoyment of doing them. 

Also consider that the majority of your current life ongoings revolve around learning & knowing. When you then approach existentialism with that mindset, you’re in for a rough ride. Can you take a few deep breathes, relax every muscle from head to toe, and just sit, and not-know. Try it for 5 or 10 minutes. Just say, “I don’t know and that’s fine... I am and that is enough”.   

Maybe you’re soooo deep in learning & knowing....that you’re a little “stuck” on the thought about ‘is this life real or not’. Real & not real are the center piece of duality (this and that...this or that). 

Be at peace in understanding that is the limit of the brain (duality), and you have reached it. Well done. There’s more to learn of course, always will be, but for that ‘real or not real’ question - that’s not a “learn” thing, that is a “Be” thing. 

Also, when I was “stuck” on that, this helped me.... do some “research” (Youtube, google, etc) on Superposition. It’ll help loosen up your mind, which is holding that things must be real or unreal, real life or unreal life. 

 

(I use quotes for “stuck”, cause you’re not really stuck, you just have a natural desire to learn and understand. Anyone who faults you for that, is stuck)

One more thing...life is hard af from about 15 to 25. You’re going to be great at everything you set your mind to. I’m excited for you. Learn that letting something go is an art of living, and as important as learning. Practice zooming in (studying specific stuff) and zooming out (way more general “enjoying life” state). 

I think you’ve been grinding away without a retreat (a big ol zoom out, just for you).  

RETREAT BRO!

[Ingit]

@Nahm thanks i love how you explained... I inside knows IM thinking wrong and something that I stupid... So I dig to find more why did my brain did that... A stupid habit... Its over 1 and a half year.. that is why I feel a sad..

[Nahm]

@Ingit Thanks.  Careful ‘dividing’ yourself. There’s one you. The more you take ownership, the easier things get. 

[Ingit]

@Nahm APPRECIATE your words ❤️?

[Ingit]

@Nahm I wanted to ask you something cuz I  know you will provide me with best answer... Even though I believe in that I’m thinking wrong thought so why i do after some time I start focusing on them again and off track.

[Nahm]

@Ingit Cause it enables something...an addiction, something unhealthy like junk food / sugar, maybe laziness, being antisocial, and or keeps you from facing a fear that you want to work through like a past trauma or low self esteem. Could also simply be conditioning that you haven’t realized is conditioning. For example, I grew up in a house with an angry father - loving, non abusive, but chronic daily anger and stress that he felt was from work, so from 15 to around 21 - I was very angry, and introverted, so manic depressive. Then I started to realize not every dad was like that, not every job means stress. That all made me an incredibly hard worker, because my purpose had been carved out - it was to work myself out of having to work, and to see if it was possible to live without stress & anger. Started working at 13. Understood what the hell was going on with me around 21. He gave me the perfect gift in this way. Later,  I paid off his house, bought him a car and paid for health insurance, so he could retire. I introduced him to meditation, and we talk about body / mind, healthy eating & thinking. Also because you’re young and that shit is hard. 

So probably someone in your household did considerable negative thinking. You can take that baton, and keep it going, or you can realize the gift - and really start waking up.

 

 

 

[Tistepiste]

@Nahm I love you, the way you are able to express the concepts and ideas you have about being able to handle situations, and intrusive unwanted negative thoughts which mostly have a very complex origin is really inspiring. Never change that.

[Nahm]

@Tistepiste I love you too. You got a great big heart. Never change that. ❤️

[Ingit]

@Nahm Thanks and Love You,,,, Nahm,,,,,,, How Old Are you????

[Nahm]

@Ingit Love you.  43. Feels like 20, friends feel 60.      Observe this day man. You will see the beauty. Love just to love. Not to get. Just to love. ❤️  If you struggle, make a case, like a lawyer, on why it is logical to be serious, to see negatively. You’ll be laughing if you try hard enough. Can’t be done. It will never make sense. 

[Ingit]

@Nahm Great advice,,,,,, Stick with your wise thoughts.....