Do mode stress

[brugluiz]

I realized that get stressed when I'm in do mode. For example, if I set the habit that I want to draw and paint for at least one hour per day, the first 3 days I do it calmly, but, after that, I start to get stressed. I think it has to do with my perfectionism. I'm also unable to relax.

I'm practicing meditation, but, even when I try to do it everyday, I become frustrated. I start to think a lot and, for me, it's like spending my time with practices that will get me nowhere.

Sometimes I can't grasp the big picture. If I spend my time drawing and painting everyday, I'll become a master at it. Sometimes I forget why I'm doing that. I do that for the sake of doing, and not for the sake of my passion. I'm astonished of how quickly I can forget it.

I create also mental prisons. I start a drawing of a horse and then, I think: "it would be great if I drew a dog. But, damn, I'm drawing this horse now and I have to finish it before drawing the dog." And then I get stressed again because I want to draw the dog, and not the horse anymore. The process of drawing and painting the horse starts to be very stressful and frustrating.

How can I deal with that? Should I work on two projects at the same time? Or should I be resilient and finish what I start before starting a new project? How do you guys deal with similar stuff?

I'm also thinking on reading two books at the same time. But maybe it can be too much.

[brugluiz]

2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

I think you would enjoy this video. Mooji was a very passionate about painting and he talks here about his painting experience.

 

Great video!

I didn't get everything, but I imagine that he found no more pleasure in painting after becoming enlightened. It made no sense for him anymore.

I still want to express many things through drawing and painting. I have a universe inside my mind.

Maybe Mooji is more in the Turquoise level of the spiral and now he has this understanding.

I would say I'm still in the Green level of the spiral without the lessons of the Orange. In fact, I have many shades of Blue as well.

I can't connect too much with Orange because I don't want to destroy the earth and Orange teachings are too much materialistic.

Anyway, I want to master painting and it will take time. I imagine myself doing it until I die. I still wonder how many paintings I will be able to create until I die.

[brugluiz]

17 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Lol I hope you achieve what you looking for. But that is what mooji tries to tell you. That this abssesion of yours about art is actually deeply connected with your true self.

Btw, I myself imagine myself becoming a highest level musician still long way to go, tho.

Thank you, @Salvijus!

I hope you also become a high level musician. Follow your passion and never give up!