[Help] Reptilian brain - Feel genetically flawed - Artist PoV

[blazed]

Ok its been like 3-4 years since I started watching Leo's stuff, and at first I really got into his stuff because I was watching motivational things but around that time Leo started getting heavily into spirituality which I followed into my own practices.

But I think the spiritual practice kind of backfired and killed my egocistal desire that was building up, I mean truth be told I was always somewhat lazy, I had a bad upbringing with a step mother and was kind of isolated to my own bedroom and I got heavily into video games as child which was an escape for me, but in return it made me lazy, I mean i wasn't lazy I put a lot of effort and energy into the games I played but it was wasted energy with no returns.

Not to mention but I also had poor nutrition, lack of attention by others and i had learning difficulty as a child I'm pretty sure I had dyslexia growing up but no one bothered to get me help or a checkup.

Also I was overly a negative person but spirituality helped me somewhat in that sense.

Anyway I just can't seem to get this hard working mentally going, it's like every time I take 1 step forward I take 2 steps back its really ANNOYING me, I don't want to be a passive monk and do nothing all day, I actually want to excel at somelike like in my Arts but I'm too fucking lazy, seriously, nothing helps me. I'm progressing so slowly I'll be dead by the time I do anything with my life.

I also can't find any jobs or anything because the industry is shit here in the United Kingdom and if you ain't the BEST artist and you're not willing to work for £15K a year or minimum wage then no job for you basically. I've been doing short term side jobs that are awful (warehouse work, security, etc).

I try to create daily positve habits and do the things I read up, (theres too many tips to integrate all of them) but I get ego backslash and cower back into a comfort zone. I get burnt out too easily and get frustrated with the long journey ahead of me.

Working/Studying from home and in front of my computer also doesn't help with the distractions.

Any hardcore tips I could integrate? Anyone was like this who changed their life around??? Or am I destined for failure due to my fate and gene pool?!!

Why do I suck so bad at life?

Here's a few samples of work btw if anyone is interested:

 

Edited July 14, 2018 by blazed

[DocHoliday]

Okay, first of all I'd like you to know that this is my THIRD attempt at replying to you because both times prior I wrote for 15-20min repsepctively and both times I lost my internet connection to the forum. BUT I DON'T CARE, I'LL WRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN because that's what winners do in life! (joke, but also no joke. Seriously)

So look, what you need to do is to regain COMPLETE and FULL responsibility and ownership over your life, because whenever you do not own yourself - someone else will always gladly do it for you. We both know that success and prosperity are not things that are simply served on a silver plate, BUT, what you can actively decide and determine is whether or not you see yourself to be worthy of success. If you see yourself as a winner in life, then guess what: you'll win at it. But if you can't and you've already accustomed yourself long enough to the thought that you will not achieve more in life than minimum wage, then that's what you'll get, it's really that simple. You do create your entire reality all by yourself, including your beliefs of what you do and don't deserve. Ask yourself, do you really want success or do you not want it? It's totally fine either way, but just be aware of the fact that the regret you'll have to face by deciding not to grab life by its balls will be more painful, crushing and depressing than anything else you might needed to face instead of it. Make something out of your life while you still can! Your future self will thank you for that. And if it's not thanking you, than it's going to rip whatever will be left of your sane mind to shreds and pieces for having decided to be a victim instead. 

[blazed]

1 hour ago, DocHoliday said:

Okay, first of all I'd like you to know that this is my THIRD attempt at replying to you because both times prior I wrote for 15-20min repsepctively and both times I lost my internet connection to the forum. BUT I DON'T CARE, I'LL WRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN because that's what winners do in life! (joke, but also no joke. Seriously)

So look, what you need to do is to regain COMPLETE and FULL responsibility and ownership over your life, because whenever you do not own yourself - someone else will always gladly do it for you. We both know that success and prosperity are not things that are simply served on a silver plate, BUT, what you can actively decide and determine is whether or not you see yourself to be worthy of success. If you see yourself as a winner in life, then guess what: you'll win at it. But if you can't and you've already accustomed yourself long enough to the thought that you will not achieve more in life than minimum wage, then that's what you'll get, it's really that simple. You do create your entire reality all by yourself, including your beliefs of what you do and don't deserve. Ask yourself, do you really want success or do you not want it? It's totally fine either way, but just be aware of the fact that the regret you'll have to face by deciding not to grab life by its balls will be more painful, crushing and depressing than anything else you might needed to face instead of it. Make something out of your life while you still can! Your future self will thank you for that. And if it's not thanking you, than it's going to rip whatever will be left of your sane mind to shreds and pieces for having decided to be a victim instead. 

Yeah I hate when that happens and your post gets deleted, thanks for the post.

The mindset is there, I want ownership of my life, and I want to be indepedent worker (have a good career as a freelancer or similar), but its just so difficult to actually do it day after day, I don't know how people do it, they just seem genetically gifted, like their mind is just hard wired to pump work out dude, whilst it comes so hard for me.

I admire people like Leo who work for themselves and run all aspects of their life and sign their own paycheck.

PS. @Leo Gura If i remember the top left and top right noses are yours, your videos are good quality for facial references I should draw you one day fully, as some bad ass sage flying on mystical creatures haha.

Edited July 14, 2018 by blazed

[Scholar]

http://gettinbetter.com/addiction.html

And you might want to read "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield.

 

You need to realize that there is nothing really holding you back but your belief that you cannot face bad feelings. When you are about to procrastinate, just force yourself to sit down and do what you need to do. It actually is as simple as it sounds, but it's not easy. You don't want to suffer, but you have to so you can turn around your life. It won't kill you, in fact, the worse it feels the more you can grow. Visualize the bad feelings as a dragon that is actually trying to scare you from what you need to do, and then simply sit down and try to scare the dragon away. If you succeed remember that it will come back the next day, you'll have to scare it away every single day. The worst feeling is when you believe that you cannot scare it away, that you are helpless to the feeling that keeps you from doing what you need to do. You only do what you need to do when the dragon is asleep, which means the dragon actually controls your life, not you.

See the discomfort as a challenge, the worse it feels, the better. Always remind yourself of the fact that it will not kill you, nothing can really happen to you. You simply need to face it and embrace the suffering, every single day. It will never get easier, you simply will get stronger. The dragon will always come back, and that is very important to understand. It is literally Satan, it will do anything to keep you from doing what you need to do. It will scare you, it will bore you, it will make you anxious. It will use every single weapon, every little trick it has learned, to keep you in your comfort zone.

The dragon is winning a war, and the reason why it is winning the war is because you do not yet realize that there is even a war going on. You don't even know that there is something you need to fight, something you need to face despite fear. 

Also adopt a "Good." mentality: 

 

The thing is, and this is sadly something that you might not become conscious of no matter how many people try to communicate it to you, until you do not realize that you need to face the dragon and that you are capable of fighting it, nothing in your life will really change. You will try ever fix that you can find, and you will see that nothing will work. The ONLY solution to your problem is to face the dragon, and it is the most scary thing you can do. It is the most scary thing any human being can do. As Leo said in one of his videos, the most effective way to get what you want is to always do the emotionally most uncomfortable thing. Until you don't do that you will remain a pathetic, scared child that is not able to face true adversity.

I would go so far that most likely you won't have the courage to face your dragon. You will remain in your comfort zone for the rest of your life, and you will die with utter regret of what you have missed in life. Most people do, and the likelihood that you are an exception is extremely slim. Nature doesn't show mercy to the weak, and neither does the dragon.

Do you really believe that if it was easy to lead a life worth living everyone would choose to live the miserable life's they do? The odds are so much against you, you don't even realize it. To have a truly worthy life you need to put as much effort into it as a person does to become an astronaut. Every person on this planet, including you, is facing this challenge. It is a monumental task that only the fewest of us have the courage to face. You did not even attempt to enter the battlefield, and on the battlefield only warriors survive. That is what you need to become, there is no way around it. The sooner you get that more chances you have to even have a chance.

Steven Pressfield was an old man when he realized that, and he was still lucky. He might have never realized it, like most people. And you are in the same position, you might only realize it when you are old, or even older. But most likely you will never realize it, not until you truly suffer, which sadly might only happen in the moments before you face death.

Edited July 14, 2018 by Scholar

[blazed]

@Scholar

Thanks for reply, I already read the "War of Art" and I know everything you are speaking of, there's no need for the assumptions of "you dont know this or that", knowing doesnt make doing any easier though, everyone knows how to get muscles, hitting the weights everyday is what's hard through. Weird coincidence I was reading today the "Good" quote from Jacko on optimize.me. I think I need to read his book "extreme ownership" I think Leo talked about him in a previous video.

@Etagnwo

My spiritual practice is fine, this is not a spiritual problem. Might as well tell a starving person "it's all an illusion, just forget about the thoughts". I do my daily practices and engage the fundamental self of emptiness on a daily basis. Again this does not help with "heroes journey" or "business" or "productivity" lol.

Edited July 15, 2018 by blazed

[Mad Cat]

Have you considered that you might have skipped around a critical phase of ego development by diving into ego-dissolving spiritual practices before you succeeded at developing a mature, healthy ego? You know, 'spiritual bypassing'?

[Nahm]

You’ve been suppressing & wasting your energy with being right, critical & superior for as long as I’ve been on this forum.

I did it too. 

Sucks huh?

Done yet?

 

 

[Scholar]

11 hours ago, blazed said:

@Scholar

Thanks for reply, I already read the "War of Art" and I know everything you are speaking of, there's no need for the assumptions of "you dont know this or that", knowing doesnt make doing any easier though, everyone knows how to get muscles, hitting the weights everyday is what's hard through. Weird coincidence I was reading today the "Good" quote from Jacko on optimize.me. I think I need to read his book "extreme ownership" I think Leo talked about him in a previous video.

I do not think you will get it. You already know what you need to know, you simply need to do it. There is no way around it, and the more you believe there is, the longer it will take for you to take action. As I said, the dragon is scaring the living shit out of you and you are completely scared to face it. All the seeking for a fix is just another manifestation of that fear.

It is not surprising though, your reaction was predictable and I think doom has already come upon you, it will just take you a few decades to realize that. 

Edited July 15, 2018 by Scholar

[Aakash Vijayan]

@Mad Cat It maybe an obvious thing to other people, but you have no idea what you've done to me with that reply. I realized ive been doing that for a year or two and have been consisitently failing in practical stuff in my life.

Thank you

 

 

[blazed]

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

You’ve been suppressing & wasting your energy with being right, critical & superior for as long as I’ve been on this forum.

I did it too. 

Sucks huh?

Done yet?

 

 

@Nahm What like how you're doing it now? I'm hardly active on the forums mate, come off it a 7500 post person telling me I'm wasting my time on the forum, you could see the irony right?

I knew some will use the opportunity of advice seeking as an element of weakness, I don't care. This is typical of humans that's why people are afraid to let people see their flaws.

As a mod you should at least refrain from a trolling post there is 0 constructive criticism in your post.

I'm forever learning.

@Mad Cat

It's not spiritual bypassing. I'm not doing spirituality to bypass anything I picked up spirituality as a balancing skill,  to help improve life and now my daily practices are enjoyable. A lot of productivity books have "meditation" as a productive habit. It's just these practices for me destroy the ego's agenda, as in you enjoy being more instead of striving for doing.  Also there is no concrete rule on when you should practice it, many people start it from childhood, some like eckhart tolle ad sadhguru get enlightened by sheer luck/mistake.

Edited July 15, 2018 by blazed

[blazed]

I'll share interesting story though.

When I quit my 3d job I was in a similar position as Leo I was getting a low salary and I asked for a pay rise I didn't get it so I quit my job to pursue love and live abroad instead with my girlfriend.

After I left the company some new guy got hired and took over my position,  the company also gave pay rises to everyone after a while and the new guy was promoted to a leader.

Anyway the new guy went on holiday and died in a motorbike accident which left me considering:

Would I have still been alive if I stayed?

Did my actions lead to the inevitable death of this guy?

What he thought was a blessing ended up being his death.

I mean who knows right?

Who knows if winning a billion dollars Is actually a good thing if for example the first business class flight you book crashes or you die on holiday or something.

It's hard to see whether something is good or bad, we see short term ramifications but we're unable to see long term ramifications.

Edited July 15, 2018 by blazed

[blazed]

I'll rephrase my question did any of you who had laziness issues overcome it? and how? what worked for you?

I know the "the just do it", "just start" or "your feelings don't matter" methods.

But you do realise this doesn't always work in the long run and for everyone right?

Otherwise everyone will be productive once they know these simple tips and tricks.

That's why I mentioned if some people are just genetically gifted and hard wired to be hard workers.

Some Scientist say they actually found laziness genes and if they give it to lab rats those rats become lazy naturally. Which is messed up as that means some of us are destined to be lazy.

Edited July 15, 2018 by blazed

[blazed]

3 hours ago, Scholar said:

I do not think you will get it. You already know what you need to know, you simply need to do it. There is no way around it, and the more you believe there is, the longer it will take for you to take action. As I said, the dragon is scaring the living shit out of you and you are completely scared to face it. All the seeking for a fix is just another manifestation of that fear.

It is not surprising though, your reaction was predictable and I think doom has already come upon you, it will just take you a few decades to realize that. 

You're basically saying what this guy is saying (about the dragon);

Seen it, seen it long ago, seen it multiple times.

But...

What do you do when the dragon is there and your body is frozen and you can't move?

paralyzed.

You have to face the dragon everyday, some people win vs the dragon nearly everyday and some lose more often. Who's at fault for losing?

Edited July 15, 2018 by blazed

[isabel]

On 7/14/2018 at 9:12 AM, blazed said:

I actually want to excel at somelike like in my Arts but I'm too fucking lazy, seriously, nothing helps me. I'm progressing so slowly I'll be dead by the time I do anything with my life.

You believe that you're lazy and that nothing helps you and that you'll never do anything with your life.

If you don't like those beliefs, you can change them.

[blazed]

Just now, isabel said:

You believe that you're lazy and that nothing helps you and that you'll never do anything with your life.

If you don't like those beliefs, you can change them.

Any suggestions?  I've messed around with affirmations and hypnosis,  even  recorded my own specific realistic ones.

I also did Leo's 90 day me sheet, vision board,  affirmation, contemplation, visualisation.

Can't say it help a lot. It did a little I guess I should go back to it.

I seem to fall off the wagon too often and need to keep getting back on track.

[Scholar]

2 hours ago, blazed said:

You're basically saying what this guy is saying (about the dragon);

Seen it, seen it long ago, seen it multiple times.

But...

What do you do when the dragon is there and your body is frozen and you can't move?

paralyzed.

You have to face the dragon everyday, some people win vs the dragon nearly everyday and some lose more often. Who's at fault for losing?

None of this matters. The point is you need to face the dragon, no matter how much it makes you freeze. There is no other way around it, there never will be. 

There is no easy fix.

You are completely dishonest due to your own fear. When you don't feel like drawing, but you know you should be, simply sit down and do it. It will not kill you, it will not freeze you. Observe the suffering that will come, see it for what it is. There is no other way, stop avoiding it, stop being a little child, and face it like a grown man. You are asking us to make it easy for you, to find a way for you where you don't have to suffer. But there is no way. You have to face the dragon right now, not tomorrow, not in an hour, but right now. Do it every day, no matter how hard it gets.

That's all the advice I can give you, but as I said, your mind will use any trick it can to have you avoid the pain this will cause.

You might very well be genetically ungifted, so go ahead and give up. You are not meant to live a good life, you are made to suffer, and you will.

Edited July 15, 2018 by Scholar

[Nahm]

@blazed You have completely misunderstood what I said, and where I’m coming from, indicative of what is preventing you from progressing. 

[blazed]

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@blazed You have completely misunderstood what I said, and where I’m coming from, indicative of what is preventing you from progressing. 

I was going to ask if you meant something else, I found your message very vague and mistook it completely, I thought you were being negative by labelling me... forgive me.

Could you elaborate please.

[Nahm]

@blazed You’re a really tough nut to crack man. I want to be upfront, that of course I don’t have the skills, and I don’t know anything. My two cents, from life experience...this comes to mind...

You know that little scientific test that was done where basically it proves that the ‘choice’ was made by someone to click a button 6 seconds before they clicked the button, which is like 5 seconds before they were aware of the ‘choice’?

 

 

[blazed]

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@blazed You’re a really tough nut to crack man. I want to be upfront, that of course I don’t have the skills, and I don’t know anything. My two cents, from life experience...this comes to mind...

What...?

6 minutes ago, Nahm said:

You know that little scientific test that was done where basically it proves that the ‘choice’ was made by someone to click a button 6 seconds before they clicked the button, which is like 5 seconds before they were aware of the ‘choice’?

Yeah you talking about the experiement where someone can scan the brain and see someone made a choice before they said they made a choice? Wasn't that test debunked or did not tell the whole picture, that's what I concluded on it (nothing I can take away from it).

@Nahm Benjamin Libet Free will experiment?

Edited July 15, 2018 by blazed