What Stage Would you Classify your Parents in? (Poll)

[DocHoliday]

Let's see what background we all come from and how we've been brought up. You can also share your story of how you relate to your parents presently and how you dealt with your upbringing being in (potential) conflict with advancing yourself and finding your own way in life. 

Edited July 14, 2018 by DocHoliday

[DocHoliday]

Unfortunately I can't vote myself, but if I could, I'd vote Heavy heavy Blue for my mom and Light Blue/Orange for my dad. As I'm currently still living at home with my parents (at age ~20) it has become a really intense struggle to put up with my mom because she's extreeemely rigid in her behaviour and super moralistic in addition to that. She still values old-fashioned family-values and traditions and always tries to establish a certain "order of decency, authority and power" which is unbelievably limiting in terms of progress and advance in general, let alone self-actualisation. I could go into more detail on her that would be pages long but essentially she's making everyone's life in our family much more difficult than it would need to be, and especially mine, since I'm the one who always tries to point out to her how she's behaving and how it is limiting everybody else (which of course only ever results in very negative reactions and consequences for me in return). Subconsciously and sometimes even consciously she intentionally refuses to learn new things or to make any progress whatsoever as she obviously very firmly believes that she should be correct and right about everything she says and does. I couldn't classify myself as yellow if I dind't say that I wouldn't understand her position and that I don't really blame her for the way she is, but sometimes it's just flat-out frustrating nonetheless.

Edited July 14, 2018 by DocHoliday
Reason for Edit: Grammar

[Soulbass]

As they get older, Green.

[RoaldKamman]

my mom is green and my dad is blue/orange

[Raphael]

Mom : Blue / Orange / Green
Dad : Red / Blue / Orange

[Elisabeth]

@DocHoliday Huh, why would you put in four shades of blue and no orange-green mixture? Biased?

My parents are hard to peg. 

My dad is a scientist. Not being in reaction against the other tier-one stages, he's the best kind of orange -- sadly not aware enough of his own emotional world to move to real green. 

I'd say my mom is blue-green mostly, having green compassion but lacking spirituality, with an orange rational world-view but in heavy reaction against orange libertarianism and marketing, with some blue limiting ideas about how life is supposed to be. 

Their shared values would be a stable love for each other, work and responsibility, pragmatism, an ethics that includes solidarity with others. So it's a real mixture of all colors. 

[DocHoliday]

@Elisabeth Yeah I have to admit, that selection was created slightly biased because I already assumed that there would be way more votes for the blue section than for any other one for that matter. But it's indeed stories like yours that make it that much more interesting to see where intentionally prejudicial assumptions do not apply perfectly:) 

Edited July 14, 2018 by DocHoliday

[Elisabeth]

3 hours ago, DocHoliday said:

But it's indeed stories like yours that make it that much more interesting to see where intentionally prejudicial assumptions do not apply perfectly:) 

 

Yeah, trying to apply the model on my mom actually makes me doubt it a lot

[Greenbirch]

I voted blue-orange, although I have to admit my dad had a lot of green. He was raised blue but became a very orange, highly educated entrepreneur who chased money. However, he was surprisingly open-minded. He left a plethora of books, including topics such as "how to heal with your hands", which I really started to notice only after having advanced to more green myself. My mom's open-minded reaction to the book topics has been a nice surprise; it seems she is not as rigid in her beliefs and materialistic as I thought

I think I have avoided "color conflict" for most of my life by adopting a kind of a blue right-wrong attitude: what your parents say is right ("you have to go to university"), and it is your duty to adhere to their values.

[Antonius]

Very dysfunctional orange

[DocHoliday]

36 minutes ago, Greenbirch said:

I think I have avoided "color conflict" for most of my life by adopting a kind of a blue right-wrong attitude: what your parents say is right ("you have to go to university"), and it is your duty to adhere to their values.

@Greenbirch Yeah, that shit is killing me man... since I can remember I always had to fight and rebel against my parents sense of "proper" values and morals; it was always way too limiting for me, and still is to this day. 

Edited July 16, 2018 by DocHoliday
Reason for Edit: Grammar

[How to be wise]

My mom is purple/blue. She is too strict about Islam. In the past, she used to tell me and my siblings about the different clans in our home country, and how she hated some of those clans. Nowadays she is a lot more into Islam. One of the reasons is that as she gets older she is becoming more conscious of her death and the limits of this life. And she is becoming more religious than she used to be.

[brugluiz]

My parents are very catholics and are probably in Blue. I think that after my psychosis, they started to become more Orange. They love me too much and they struggled a lot to understand what was happening to me (even if it was with the mainstream scientific model of psychosis, which is very materialistic).

[DocHoliday]

@Artaemis Whow that sounds quite... radical. Very intersting insight into your perspective though, thanks for sharing!

[Greenbirch]

19 hours ago, DocHoliday said:

@Greenbirch Yeah, that shit is killing me man... since I can remember I always had to fight and rebel against my parents sense of "proper" values and morals; it was always way too limiting for me, and still is to this day. 

Right! I keep finding these blue-type thinking patterns, even though they are not about the normal blue values. It's like orange values packaged in a blue box or something ("you need to make a ton of money or else there is something profoundly wrong with you"). Not sure if I am overthinking this, or if it's valid to classify a pattern of thought with a color, no matter what the thoughts are actually about. Would it be useful to utilize this model to say that family values can stay in us as these blue-type, very absolute values that our subconscious or even conscious mind uses to guilt us? Like having a "religion" inside your subconscious mind in which your family's values are the word of a very unforgiving god. And as long as these thought patterns are there, a part of us is blue, no matter where we are on the spiral otherwise...

[George Fil]

Does Laziness and Irresponsiblity count as Green? 

Edited July 17, 2018 by George Fil

[DocHoliday]

@George Fil Spiral Dynamics is more concerned with values rather than personality traits. Therefore: No. 

[How to be wise]

@George Fil orange.

[Pelin]

My mum has gotten more into the green zone after retirement. She got interested in yoga and meditation, and I voted for green but, she's starting to see the big picture. Last time I saw her she was reading Eckharte Tolle and was really into enlightenment. I can say she's turning into yellow.

My dad is a nationalist and although he has some hints of orange, he's mostly blue. Now to think about it, I've always wondered how mum could tolerate him and his closedmindedness. Maybe it's because she always had some yellow within her which allowed her to accept him as he is much more than I can. 

[outlandish]

This is a very interesting topic, love it.

When I was a child my parents were Green. They were part of the hippie movement that separated the world into hip vs. square, and they took what they saw as the revolutionary progressive path. Compared to their parents, they were real radicals, but nothing strange by todays standards.

Like many north American kids of their generation, they were brought up very heavy Blue, and then when the hippie movement happened, there was a massive youth rebellion against that paradigm to a basically stage green ideal. Sometimes it really was just an ideal that people were reaching for and having a hard time realizing, but they did a good job of the act. 

As they aged they broadened, and regressed somewhat into the programming that they were brought up with, which is natural. It's hard to overwrite your own code, and also ageing can naturally lead to more conservatism because you can become attached to the old days and old ways.

Now my Mom is in more Blue/Orange/Green territory, and my Dad is an odd Red/Orange/Turquoise.

I see this same revolution play out today in North America with children of fresh immigrant families. Often these are families coming from very stage Blue old-world societies, and their kids want to embrace a more Orange/Green even Yellow norm, and you get these cultural clashes within families. 

It looks to me like urban "millenials" are pushing forward a more Yellow paradigm, and actually building on the ideals that the hippies set up, and that Gen X tried to realize. You see a lot of collaborative and inter-disciplinary approaches to problem solving. There's a big softening of the ego, there's a lot less rock stars on pedestals for instance. In the celebrity world, no one gets points for posing like they're better than the rest, it's a lot more about being on the same level, tweeting with fans etc. In the art world, the myth of the Maestro has faded, and the work and the community is much more important. The individual is less important than the movement. There's the whole crowdfunding thing, the sharing economy, and ideas like sustainability are top priority.

That's by perspective as a north american cusp Gen X/Millenial, child of hippies. Hope someone read all that.