Help- Male INFP and taking ownership of your life

[Aakash Vijayan]

How can a male INFP take ownership of their life? My minds seems to go crazy and I get extremely anxious and stressed out in my life and im trying to find some solution to this problem? Please help. Feel like im stuck. Any other male INFPs who can shine some light on to this problem?

 

 

[Aakash Vijayan]

I usually watch Leo's videos and all the advanced stuff as well and grasp it on an intellectual level (not even close to embodying any of it by light years). With respect to the question if posted i feel like its related to his video titled "How to not be a victim- Part 2". I dont know how to go about it being an INFP male. Why i mention the whole MBTI thing is because it is pretty accurate at describing my personality. I arrived at this conclusion by trying out Leo's "pinterest your MBTI" blog insight.

 

[Rebec]

5 hours ago, Aakash Vijayan said:

My minds seems to go crazy

In what way? What are you thinking about?

5 hours ago, Aakash Vijayan said:

I get extremely anxious and stressed out in my life and im trying to find some solution to this problem

About what are you getting anxious and stressed?

@Aakash Vijayan I think you need to be more specific if you want advice / help.

[Aakash Vijayan]

i am currently a medical student from India, and i keep failing classes because i don't think medicine is my thing anymore. Im consistently failing to get shit done in my life and i tend to live in dreamerland and conceptual land. I'm finding it difficult to take action be it in health, nutrition and especially in my school work and exams. I keep failing again and again and this gives me a lot of stress and anxiety. About a year back I had an insight that made me realize that all i had done up until that point in time for external validation. Validation from my parents, friends and women etc. 

Im drawn towards making music and being a musician but it would be unstrategic for me given my life situation to just drop my current endeavour in medicine. So i thought i should strategically make some money in my current field by first becoming a doctor and then probably making the shift some years down the line. which means i need to get shit done with what i have. I feel like i'm lacking the motivation and the energy to get anything done and now i'm in this vicious cycle of anxiety and emotions that keep from getting anything done and keep quitting and backing off when it gets too "scary" for the want of a better word. And following the "pinterest your MBTI type" has made find out what my MBTI type is and it feels like it describes me to a tee but the descriptions from different sources say that my dominant preferences are this way and "i have to accept and incorporate them"

So last week i had my first panic attack in life because i feel really lost and i feel like getting stuff done, generating results are harder for me than most other people and im going deeper and deeper into victim territory

 

Edited July 15, 2018 by Aakash Vijayan
spelling errors

[egoeimai]

@Aakash Vijayan hello. 

My opinion: do both medical studies and study music too. 

Take it step by step. Its a nice thing to do when you feel overwhelmed/stressed out and pissed off with life situation. 

Those are intense feelings you didnt face so that's why you had panic attack. 

Step by step, day by day, put a little effort to what you do. Do not give up! Its easy! But also doing it slowly is easy too. You will gain a lot of confidence just by those achievements and then you'll feel motivated to do stuff.

Finish what you've started no matter how many years it takes you to finish. Its worth it in the end.

Also, its not that you keep failing, (failing is an indication that u keep trying) but you expect too much in too little time. Be patient.  it is better to start small and do a few things here and there rather than quitting all together .

Good luck ?

[Pure Imagination]

@Aakash Vijayan I am also an INFP, and I struggle with many of the things you have mentioned. I have found that it is important to act on inspiration when it arises. There comes a time on the awakening journey where it becomes more and more difficult to do things that you are not passionate about. Ask yourself if you are truly still passionate about medicine, and observe how your emotional body reacts. If your body has a negative reaction, then maybe you do want to truly reconsider your life purpose. To quote Teal Swan, follow your bliss. If music is what you are truly passionate about, continue pursuing it and you will find your niche, even if you have to slowly ween yourself off of things you are not passionate about.

Regarding your negative emotions, sit with them. Most INFP's are empaths, myself included. I highly recommend Matt Kahn's videos on YouTube for any INFP. Ask your negative emotions why they want your attention and what you can do for them, either on the physical or psychological level. View them as a distressed child. They are trying to inform you on what aspects of yourself are requesting integration. Don't underestimate how powerful this process can be. Anything you feel that will help you is correct, just listen to how your being reacts. I also recommend continuing enlightenment work because you will continue to gain insight into what you and your emotions truly are, allowing you to integrate them more efficiently.

Lastly, don't be afraid to take action. It may be painful at first, but just allow the pain to be and follow your highest wisdom. Take it one minute at a time and trust that the universe is leading you down the correct path. It always is  

 

[SFRL]

@Aakash Vijayan I am INFP too. 

INFP basically is the "Mediator" type. 

Because you see many different perspectives. They all seem right and true to some extend. 

So if you are interested in many things that only makes sense. 

This sounds really grandiose saying it but for me I always have this feeling that I connect a lot of dots that maybe a lot of other people don't. That's cool in some regards but it also can be a huge mind fuck, leasing to anxiety and anger. 

I will talk to people and say like you it's like this and this, or you did this and this, and they will be like no it's not or I didn't do that. 

And my attitude is like are you fucking  stupid? Are you lying to me? 

But I think they honestly don't/can't see it that way. People are wired up differently.

So get your priorities straight, from a strategic perspective. Don't get too much into your feelings, you got plenty of those as it is. 

Think of it as both a gift and a curse. Don't take yourself too seriously. Be able too laugh at yourself. 

 

[Emerald]

On 7/12/2018 at 10:00 AM, Aakash Vijayan said:

How can a male INFP take ownership of their life? My minds seems to go crazy and I get extremely anxious and stressed out in my life and im trying to find some solution to this problem? Please help. Feel like im stuck. Any other male INFPs who can shine some light on to this problem?

The way to do this is to gain skills with being able to function in the opposite way. That way, you'll be more well-rounded. So, you'd be trying to develop skills in the areas of ESTJ. Now, I'm not saying that you should forget your natural way of being as an INFP. But gaining skills in ESTJ will help you function better.

So, be able to function like an extrovert when you need to. Develop skills with sensing and focus more toward the perceivable world instead of relying only on intuition and internal phenomena. Develop your intellect so that you can understand your feelings better, as well as other things. And probably most important, develop the ability to judge, limit, and create rules and boundaries.

The reason why the 'J' is so important is because people have a hard time functioning without being able to create a clear context. 'J' is like being able to set down a solid structure for yourself to be successful in and determine that you've actually been successful by your own definition. Without boundaries, rules, and limitations, there is no ability to create friction and traction within the world. So, your goals won't be able to come to fruition because you won't be able to create the requisite amount of meaning needed for sustained focus on a particular desired outcome. And if you want success, you have to define what it means using judgment. 

So, use the 'J' to create context, rules, meaning, and boundaries for yourself. It's probably the main reason why you're having difficulties as an INFP. 

I'm an INFJ (borderline INFP), and when I function more like an INFP I am a lot less able to execute on things. I'm likely to get lost in the idea world and be unable to bring it forth into reality.