how crucial is being able to talk with girls?

[Viking]

is that an important skill that's worth investing time and money on courses into?

Edited July 11, 2018 by Viking

[RoaldKamman]

How much of the free resources have you investigated? Got a friend? A simple wingman session is always fun. Talking to girls is important. But you have to be able to have fun doing it. Learning some sarcasm and getting your own sense of humor is always freaking good! You should be able to enjoy a fun conversation without expecting anything from the girl. After you get the feeling you both had fun you can ask her for her number or arrange a date etc. Strangely the best way to get the result is not to focus on the result but on being in the moment and playing with the conversation. 

[Viking]

@RoaldKamman the point of the post was more if its important, not how to achieve anything.

and i dont go anywhere where girls are at, im always alone. and i live in a place where not much is happening.

[RoaldKamman]

Well lets assume that you want to talk to your girlfriend. In that case talking to girls is important. Being brutally honest there is no question on if it is important. Anything that has ever been done is important and worth doing. The real question is if it is important for you. Is it important enough for you to get out there and go to more places where you will meet new people and make things happen in the place you live. Don't wait for the environment to bring it to you. Bring it into your environment. Or change the environment. 

[Viking]

@Etagnwo yeah, im putting effort in it because my mind always bombards me with that stuff.

whats the difference between pick up and PUA? do you define PUA as the community? I dont want to be in that community, I just want to approach girls in public places because i dont have other options.

[Viking]

@Etagnwo Whats your experience with that stuff?

so as I understand it could work if I approach women authentically, even outside of a "meeting setting".

From my understanding, not from experience, women go to bars and clubs just to have a good time, not to meet men, to get validation and to get free drinks from men.

I understand that in order to succeed I have to meet women who are searching or are willing, obviously.

The problem is that im currently a university student studying physics and there are about 10% girls there, not only that, but right now I dont even go to university because its summer break.

im searching for a way to meet willing women aged~20, while the options i have is either public places like cafes and malls, and some bars (which I guess are small). lol I realized, I look bad no matter where I go, im either one of the desperate dudes who go to bars to get laid or a dude who tried to pick up at public places.

[Viking]

@Etagnwo so i shouldnt continue a conversation in the first place if i see if she doesnt want sex?

[Viking]

@Etagnwo seems pretty unrealistic if im a bit less than an average looking guy.

[Viking]

@Etagnwo also youre talking about women as though theyre some sex monsters, which may be true at age 25+ but at my age, 20, the girls are uncomfortable with themselves and dont know what they want.

i also dont really care that much about sex, im more interested in exploring women and intimate relationships

Edited July 14, 2018 by Viking

[Viking]

@Etagnwo so all youre saying is that i have to be authentic and direct with my intentions (but not to the extreme)?

[Viking]

@Etagnwo so for example if i go to a bar, what im supposed to do is find a girl that i find nice and alone, maybe with friends but only female ones and not too much, walk up to her and start talking authentically?

[Viking]

@Etagnwo what we talked about covered bars and clubs, but is that also possible in malls or cafes? but there i guess i gotta watch out if shes open to talk

[ajasatya]

On 11/07/2018 at 1:42 PM, Viking said:

how crucial is being able to talk with girls?

as crucial as freedom

[Viking]

18 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

They will gladly do plenty of the heavy lifting for you if you know what to do

what do you mean by heavy lifting and "know what to do"?

4 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

as crucial as freedom

why?

[ajasatya]

4 minutes ago, Viking said:

why?

being able to talk to people, regardless of their genders, is a facet of freedom itself. the thought of "i can't" and the feeling of shame are toxic.

[Viking]

3 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

being able to talk to people, regardless of their genders, is a facet of freedom itself. the thought of "i can't" and the feeling of shame are toxic.

that wasnt what I implied. I didnt imply shyness or inability to approach, I implied flirtatious social skills.

[Viking]

4 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

Because they are independent. What decent girl is going to let you do all the work? It's old fashioned and co-dependent for them to sit back like a sack of spuds and be manipulated. You got it made with postmodern women because they are people in their own right.

All you got to be is their equal 

a lot of girls are far from "decent", at least it seemed like it during highschool, holy shit...

2 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

It's easier to get laid now in the 21st century than it was ever in the whole of history. 

Women are the new male sluts of this world mate. Tinder is a female cattle market designed and catered for post modern sluts who want their sexual equality acted out and made reality. 

If you can't get laid in this day and age you will never get laid at all

Even though you said looks dont matter, and I still think they do, but not a ton, in tinder looks are everything, if youre not a good looking guy in tinder dont bother.

[Viking]

4 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

what is your definition of decent?

shit when i started thinking now about it every girl is decent deep inside, but there are women that have tons of insecurities, so they are snobby, extremely self centered (more than normal), who laugh out of pity at people, have no compassion, just not feminine, some feel like they have to act masculine, go down on the man.

9 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

In tinder looks don't matter, trust me. It's how you come across. 

well, and it takes much much more effort to come across in a decent way when you're not hot.

11 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

I can't believe you still think looks are an issue. For some women they ARE an issue, because I believe for those first looking for looks they have already got a boyfriend and are looking for laughs as extra on the net. That way they can live out two fantasies at Once, one they get a real male and 2 on tinder they get hunks drooling over them. 

Interesting, so you think that girls dont associate good looks with ability to provide? I know that men care about looks because looks say how well the female can deliver babies and be a housewife etc.

[Viking]

4 minutes ago, Etagnwo said:

@Viking I'd like to know your definition of "decent" to see if it's in line with reality.

The choices you have are:

Orange/ green = women who sleep around and are independent. Who engage in bisexual acts in and outside of your relationship mostly wothout you knowing because it's none of your business and they are free agents (even when married) and will rip you a second arsehole if you even mention divorce. Most of them marry you because of your social power that you displayed when dating and will bleed you dry with divorce settlements if you're unlucky enough to cross them and break their hearts. 

Or blue dependants who control you and end up hen pecking you to death to abide by their rules because they cannot function properly without you, or god, or some ridiculous arbitrary system of judgement and pre rational rights according to folk lore and family values. Bitches that will turn psycho on you at the drop of a hat because you cheated on them because they made your sex life unbearably boring and structured it to the death drive that you had no choice but to cheat on them with any old slut who took your fancy (mostly one of their friends because you don't have a real life together just a neurotic confluence of weird dormant moron who repeat the same fucking boring garbage night in and night out at the same death promoting shitty nights in gossiping and taking about the same listless boring shit that you always talk about and can't get away from

I gave an anti definition of decent, so Not what I wrote. ill give you a definition of ideal, why settle on decent, decent has some of those attributes-caring about people, openminded, thinks for herself (which means can have conversation), not dogmatic, not over the top judgmental, not cold. 

the way you described orange/green is kind of too narrow, i dont think most women are that devilish. that's just uncaring hoes that all they want is to feel good, thats more orange than orange/green.

[Viking]

@Etagnwo I believe you that most people are for themselves and especially those that go around in pubs. I dont want to create a long term relationship with people from that area, that's just for now, for the honey moon period you described. I do think there are women that are much better than what you described, though theyre rare. im training right now to get them in the future. that doesnt mean that i wont commit right now in relationships though. I want to meet women, be with them, and see how they are, if their personality is bad i wont stay with them for long, if its good ill keep at it and commit to developing the relationship. ill go through cycles of women until I get to one which I resonate with.