Why do I=you=we exist?

[tsuki]

23 hours ago, Zweistein said:

Are self-actualizers self-actualizing because they have "heavy weights" to carry (suffering/trauma)?

@Zweistein To conclude my last post, I think that the feeling of suffering that we encounter when we observe our inner trauma is the feeling of releasing something. People that had experienced trauma and decided to face it simply had the opportunity to observe, and in doing that, learn that there is something positive in suffering (release). That is the prerequisite to learn short-circuiting.

Seeking suffering (hardships) in life is a way to lessen the polarities. It's like purposefully damaging your body that makes it stronger.
What do you do when you go to the gym? You tear your muscles so that they can grow back differently and tear less.
Of course, there is a limit to what you can do. Jumping under a car (unprepared) will kill you. So does trauma that is too great. 

The key is the amount of suffering you experience. It cannot be too great and too sudden, because it can break you.
This is why voluntary seeking is so important. You cannot force suffering unto others if they come unprepared because you may overwhelm them.
Self-actualizers that had experienced trauma have the gift of material to work with towards short-circuiting.

Edited July 30, 2018 by tsuki

[Zweistein]

@tsuki Yeah, the term short-circuiting describes this perfectly, I think. It's time to revise my very first post in this journal:

 

We can surrender with humbleness and bravery!

I keep observing myself and I realize in so many occasions how much my subconscious mind was brainwashed in my childhood and through society.

I keep observing myself and I realize how brave I can be.

I keep observing myself and I realize my infinite potential more and more.

I keep observing and I realize that there are more people who are realizing this just like me.

I keep observing and I realize that I don’t need to cling to my story or identity.

I keep observing and I surrender with humbleness.

I keep observing and realize that everything I just wrote above are just words = letters = language constructs = a thought story that is equal to nothingness.

I keep observing and I realize just how much I’m still stuck in concepts of “trying to understand”.

I keep observing and I realize that there is no infinite potential, but rather orbitals of higher possibilities.

I keep observing and I realize that everything I have learned does actually matter!

I keep observing and I realize how much our story and identity do actually matter.

I keep observing and I realize that if I keep observing I can integrate what I have learned.

I keep observing and I realize that I keep observing.

The loop closed with some potential to grow bigger, but right now I’m totally confused and exhausted by the massive stillness I confronted. How much further does this rabbit hole go? And then what?

(…. totally reorganizing ….)

 

[now is forever]

@Zweistein maybe but you won’t loose the content, it’s just recontextualisation.

@tsuki maybe you are a nihilist - but already one who turned to the yes? and it’s certainly not all you are... 

there is also a difference between nihilism and zen, even if they fit into each other - korean zen for example is different from japanese zen - but we know the japanese better.

it’s not the theory that makes the person, it’s the prove against life that makes the theory and especially life that makes the person.

Edited July 30, 2018 by now is forever

[Zweistein]

@now is forever yep, totally - this is recontextualisation live!

To all the silent readers out there - hope you are observing and learning along! ;-)

[now is forever]

@Zweistein i feel sorry you feel like that right now. and hope it will be fine again very soon! you are such a strong woman - thank you for creating a creating space here, for synchronized ice skating. i think it’s just spinning a little bit after some pirouettes. 

Edited July 30, 2018 by now is forever

[Zweistein]

I kind of feel sooooo observed - so freaky! Too bad that there is no rabbit emoticon ...

But yeah, I actually used to synchronize skate - but I'm not ready to share those videos here yet, lol! 
Would love to do it again but with better posture...

[now is forever]

? bought myself some dandelion salad, when i felt like that - you are observing yourself. that’s normal - and it’s openly. so sometimes it might feel like others see right through you. maybe even conversing with them in your mind. i don’t know what others see, but i can only see what i know for myself, so they still see themselves in you somehow - so you are only as open as you let others read you.

and most people are so interested in themselves they don’t bother reading anyways. that’s the good thing and the sad thing ? 

just think of naked drawing, it’s the same thing. your doing an naked self portrait writing here, the others, too. that’s all.

Edited July 30, 2018 by now is forever

[tsuki]

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

maybe you are a nihilist - but already one who turned to the yes? and it’s certainly not all you are... 

@now is forever There are various ways in which one can say no to things.
I am not saying no to everything disrespectfully. That it should be torn down because it is meaningless.
I feel disappointed when I encounter disrespect towards what is. To me, everything is exactly how it should be, including the fact that it will change.
Even though I feel emotions, I am neither despairing, nor joyful about the fact that everything is meaningless.
To me, meaninglessness itself is meaningless.

In this sense, I'm saying no to a no. I am disrespectful towards disrespect. Nihilistic towards nihilism.
In this sense - I'm saying yes, but it is an implicit yes. A mute yes.

@Zweistein Your drawings are very touching. I can tell that you draw from a vulnerable place.
I wish I could draw like I can explain.

[Zweistein]

Oh that's a good one @tsuki! 

Nihilistic towards nihilism ? Love that!

And haha - I can post a rabbit ? from my phone ?. And off I go again to digest the dandelion you guys/girls fed me. Still can't believe what just happened. Wait, I can choose what to believe, daaaahhhh ?

 

 

[Zweistein]

@tsuki I think you should totally see if you like creating? Circles are a good starting point, you know?

I'm feeling so sad right now - am I really ready to leave green behind?  Feeling so nostalgic all of a sudden...

 

 

 

Edited July 30, 2018 by Zweistein

[tsuki]

3 hours ago, Zweistein said:

I keep observing myself and I realize in so many occasions how much my subconscious mind was brainwashed in my childhood and through society.

@Zweistein I have to address the issue of brainwashing.

We find ourselves in existence as a dark room with a minuscule torchlight.
The more we grow, the stronger and stronger the light becomes and at some point, we see that the room is furnished.
The room is furnished, but who did the furnishing?
Things move other things around. This is how you recognize people.

At some point you understand that you can move furniture yourself.
This way you become upset that it is not furnished your way. The healthy way.
You may blame people for furnishing your room however they please.

To return to the early bliss is to understand that people are the part of the room.
That way, you can understand that there is nobody that furnishes it.
The room furnishes itself and all that had changed is the amount of light.

Edited July 30, 2018 by tsuki

[Zweistein]

I guess I'm in the middle of learning how to play. I know I will stop blaming and the bliss will come back!
It's just a bit much to sink in right now (bla, blaming again, I know, lalala).


 

[now is forever]

2 hours ago, tsuki said:

@Zweistein I have to address the issue of brainwashing.

We find ourselves in existence as a dark room with a minuscule torchlight.
The more we grow, the stronger and stronger the light becomes and at some point, we see that the room is furnished.
The room is furnished, but who did the furnishing?
Things move other things around. This is how you recognize people.

At some point you understand that you can move furniture yourself.
This way you become upset that it is not furnished your way. The healthy way.
You may blame people for furnishing your room however they please.

To return to the early bliss is to understand that people are the part of the room.
That way, you can understand that there is nobody that furnishes it.
The room furnishes itself and all that had changed is the amount of light.

whaaaa @tsuki that’s a mindfuck more over a soul fuck for a conscious designer.

i prefer seeing what you see as furniture as stars - some are dark stars and some are shiny ones. you can look at them when you need inspiration. but still remain on earth. or sometimes visit them if you need to.

but you can refurbish your house and throw the stuff you don’t like out and even give some stuff a new  function. (not talking about people as stuff, well sometimes)

you can‘t change being influenced, but you can chose who or what influences you.

Edited July 30, 2018 by now is forever

[now is forever]

2 hours ago, Zweistein said:

 

 

 

 

? sooo funny. i love it - will never exchange my canvas bags. and turquoise has also green elements ?.

in berlin they use back packs more often.

i don‘t agree that it is impossible to remain partly in one stage and enter another at the same time. it’s just a question where your pride sits in in the end.

 

 

and @Zweistein ... i love your drawings - be it ice skating or writing or paintings or installations.  especially the nude ones. for both of us it’s just a matter of skills and performance and decision making - that’s the dragon.

think you need some silence around here now. 

Edited July 30, 2018 by now is forever

[Zweistein]

1 hour ago, now is forever said:

think you need some silence around here now. 

Yeah, I know - I shut up now for a while until I find my center again for this pirouette.
I'm at the darkest of all places right now 

 

 

 

[Zweistein]

My ego wanted to trick me again and make a big deal out of this, lol... 

 

[Zweistein]

The strange thing is - I painted this a year ago. 
Now, I feel like I'm done asking questions and looking for answers (at least for now... ;-) and I feel like I can go straight (back) to 50% nihilism (enjoying lovely moments during the typical daily chores, playing with the kids, simply enjoying life!) and 50% actual work (which involves creating, learning & loosing track of being in the moment - but hey, that's completely fine - as long as I inspire others!!!!).

 

Edited July 31, 2018 by Zweistein

[Zweistein]

The integral leadership equation

HOW should WHO lead
(motivate/manage/teach/influence etc)

WHOM to do WHAT

for WHICH people
(culture/group etc.)

living WHERE and WHY


(Don Beck et al. (2018) "Spiral Dynamics in Action")

[Zweistein]

 

[Zweistein]

*******busy, cleaning my inner mirror******