Developing Romance Causing Anxiety?

[Goodsir]

Hello, my name is Kevin and I'll start by saying that this is the first time that I've posted on this forum. Leo's videos have been a huge help to me over time and I genuinely enjoy watching his content and taking action based on it. 

For my first post though, I come to you all with a bit of an issue I've been having as of late- a romantic one. About four months ago, I met a girl online through a mutual interest and since then we've started to get to know each other more, and get more comfortable with one another as time goes on. We've started talking much more in the past month or so and every time we talk, I enjoy her company more and more. This past Saturday we finally met up and she was even better and more compatible with me in person than I had previously imagined. And to top it all off, as soon as I got home she had already suggested that we meet again soon. Everything is looking up for our possible future and I see no problems in sight- except for one, and that problem is internal. 

This internal conflict that I have mentioned is, of course, anxiety- as the thread title implies. When I'm not with her, I tend to get into fits of anger at small things, later causing anxiety that prevents me from getting things done and enjoying recreational activities. This isn't perpetual, as there will be days where I feel completely calm and content about my current situation, with no desire to rush things or force communication. But on the days where I do feel anxiety, I'm almost rendered unable to handle my daily routine and often neglect schoolwork and other necessary tasks. Everything suddenly turns into a much larger problem internally than what they actually are externally, and I find myself incapable of getting her off my mind. My thoughts about her are more often than not positive, yet they still cause a feeling of anxiety and a ceaseless tightness in my stomach area. Once this feeling of tightness in the stomach does come, it will not go away no matter how much I try and convince myself that everything will be fine. I find myself planning future dates and calculating not yet happened conversations down to the most minute details, rather than simply allowing things to go however they may. This is of course, a problem, as I want to be able to enjoy and savor this relationship rather than have it be something that not only causes pain and stress, but restricts me from doing simple tasks as I normally do them, also leaving me mentally exhausted before the end of the day. 

So I come here asking, is there any way that I can stop this obsessiveness and simply let go? Is there perhaps something deeper that causes my desire for control over what happens in the future of this relationship? Are there any meditation or other techniques that can help to calm me down, at least to the point where I'm able to function normally once again? I hope to find an immediate solution that can solve this problem within the next few weeks at most, because this is truly dragging both myself and my ambitions down considerably. Thank you for your time.

Regards,

Kevin

[Jawor]

Every time you feel anger or anxiety, write all the details of it (circumstances, what you feel, why you feel this negative emotion) in a journal. It will definitely help you to calm down long-term.

Edited March 18, 2016 by Jawor

[Guest]

@Goodsir  You care too much. Stop giving a fuck about relationships and women and focus on what's really important and useful in life.

Your mission, your life purpose, and self-actualization

also this of course what @Jawor wrote

Edited March 18, 2016 by Rasmus

[Will]

You know.. I like how aware you are of your emotions.. I think make a special effort to really be as honest with yourself as possible.. Whatever comes up accept it and then decide what you want to do about it.. Accept the realities of the situation.. Not outwardly , i mean inwardly.. Try to avoid thoughts like the "oh they make me angry " Think in terms of " oh I get angry when"  Drill down on this emotions that come up and find out where they come from and get help from us about what you can do about them.. 

Allot of the time you only need to acknowledge them and fully accept them and just that will change you..

what ever you do dont act on anything.. get the feeling and emotion and experience it privately,, take yourself away from others and work it out yourself or with us..

We can point you in the right direction for getting this stuff out and what to do with it..

 

Be mindfull that calm to someone who has supressed things for a while may not really be calm.. its just hidden..

When your dealing with powerfull emotions like anger its best to give it some respect and be humbled by it..

Dont run away from your feelings and emotions.. It might seem ludicrous but let them be there and try and journal it..