How to deal with being unable to get laid

[Emne]

Hello. I am a guy who has never had sex or had a girlfriend. I don't think this is something that is going to change. How do I get over it and move on to focusing on other areas of life?

[SFRL]

@Emne why would it never happen? 

[Emne]

@SFRL Because I am ugly and suck at talking to girls. I also have no experience with relationships and have no idea of how to act around women

[Moreira]

First understand that romantic love doesnt exist, every girls loves a guy by ego interest not by pure lovfe. The only woman that will love you genuinely is your mother. After rewiring your brain from all the social conditioning you learned in TV media youll be ready to try direct experience.

Go to a prostitute ,not 1 but more times, reference experience, you'll learn that girls dont bite, try to tease her, be playful,be confident arount them. After the hooker youll have lot of confidence and decent social skills.

Then try with no-pay girls. learn to be rejected by some but accepted by others.

[SFRL]

4 hours ago, Emne said:

@SFRL Because I am ugly and suck at talking to girls. I also have no experience with relationships and have no idea of how to act around women

I was walking around a city the other day and I did see this really ugly girl with this really ugly girl sitting there together and they were so short and ugly. And they only had eye for each other and they were all giddy and happy that they were together. And I was thinking aaawwww that's so cute. Honestly they were so happy that they had found someone as ugly as they are. 

Hey they are happy so that's what matters right? 

Also when you are a virgin teenagers you think that a hotter girl means better sex. But that's not necessarily truth. 

You can have good sex with ugly girls too. I have field tested this. (Hey shit man when you are hungry you got to eat hehe)

Nowadays I think good sex is more important then how the girl looks but you got to learn that over time.

[Freethinking Guru]

@Emne You can start by not putting women on a pedestal above you. Understand that all humans beings are equal. Your inferiority is leading you to have awkward encounters with them. Also, know that your looks are not as important as your confidence. Start by getting more comfortable in your skin by accepting yourself fully with all your imperfections. Then you'll start to be more natural and people will feel at ease with you.

Freethinking Guru

[Leo-Tzu]

Limiting belief. There's a guy with no arms and no legs married... Also a 3 foot disabled guy married too. . . If you're healthy there's no way you cant find at least one girl in 4 billion that wants you. Just focus on yourself , your career, personallity, humour and the girls will come. How old are you? Where do you live? 

[Leo Gura]

@Emne There are tons of programs and courses available which teach you how to get good at dating and flirting with girls.

It's like learning a programming language. You just commit to learning it and follow the tutorials.

[RoaldKamman]

I struggled with this for the longest time. When I was 18 I was 150 kilos with 50% body fat. I lost all the exces weight but it was hard to get my first time too. It took me three years before I found my lucky strike. Got the girl to buy me a drink and was surprised about how much of NOT a big deal the sex was at all. After that I mastered the game for myself and since I have slept with over 25 women total and it has become boring to do it. Now im trying to get into a more meaningfull relationship which is a completely different animal to tame. But don't tell yourself that you can or can't do anything. 

[CreamCat]

On 7/10/2018 at 0:56 PM, Leo Gura said:

It's like learning a programming language. You just commit to learning it and follow the tutorials.

It reveals human's machine-like nature. I remember the following quote from "Detroit Become Human".

Quote

You can't kill me. I'm not alive.

Man, I'm starting to contemplate death again.

Edited July 12, 2018 by CreamCat

[Emne]

Thanks for all the great answers!  

[billiesimon]

On 10/7/2018 at 5:56 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Emne There are tons of programs and courses available which teach you how to get good at dating and flirting with girls.

It's like learning a programming language. You just commit to learning it and follow the tutorials.

@Leo Gura that's true, but I still have a lot of confusion about your stance on dating and approaching.

In your video about PUA you suggest to find a more authentic and non-technical approach to dating. So is it ok to learn the process of dating as you suggest in the quote? Or is it inauthentic and deceitful?

I still don't get what you suggested to do with approaching girls with honesty in practical terms. Is it ok to flirt? To plan the logistics of the date?

[Leo-Tzu]

On 10/07/2018 at 3:57 PM, see_on_see said:

Corey Wayne for mastering relationships 

Is he legit? I've downloaded his audiobook a year ago and doesnt feel much authentic, he's manipulative

[sargam]

On 7/7/2018 at 10:36 PM, Emne said:

Hello. I am a guy who has never had sex or had a girlfriend. I don't think this is something that is going to change. How do I get over it and move on to focusing on other areas of life?

 

 

On 7/7/2018 at 11:06 PM, Emne said:

@SFRL Because I am ugly and suck at talking to girls. I also have no experience with relationships and have no idea of how to act around women

 

Hi Emne, 

If you are getting dejected for not being able to have sex or have a girlfriend, is because of you not having a positive attitude towards life or a positive self-image about yourself.

So, to begin with, have a positive image of yourself because if you can't be respecting yourself, forget to earn respect from others.

A little tip to boost your self-confidence: Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror. As you stare into your own eyes, see your body, and see into your soul, you will want to take care of that sacred being that you see. The will to do that will change your life and help you to build a positive self image.

Trust me when I say this, girls like men who are confident and not sulking/whining babies who complain.

So stop complaining and get on your feet and go out to meet people.

You might be rejected 9 times but I am sure everyone gets it right the 10th time if you keep looking for what you want to find.

On 7/8/2018 at 0:07 AM, Moreira said:

First understand that romantic love doesnt exist, every girls loves a guy by ego interest not by pure lovfe. The only woman that will love you genuinely is your mother. After rewiring your brain from all the social conditioning you learned in TV media youll be ready to try direct experience.

Go to a prostitute ,not 1 but more times, reference experience, you'll learn that girls dont bite, try to tease her, be playful,be confident arount them. After the hooker youll have lot of confidence and decent social skills.

Then try with no-pay girls. learn to be rejected by some but accepted by others.

13

As aptly said most people need rewiring of their brain and get to understand that, what is shown on TV and Internet videos about sex and love are rosy pictures to take you away from reality and make you comfortable.

Sex is a vague term used to depict emotional love as well as meaningless sex. And with Porn and so-called sex videos being available so easily on the internet. There is a very thin line between sex and love.

So get this right first what are you seeking? :

1. Meaningless sex with no emotional baggage where you let out all your animalistic instincts that have been piling up in one go, and move on.

2. Find a human with whom you can connect emotionally and then bond with them and eventually "make love".

Clearly, the choice is yours and there is no such thing as the right choice or the wrong one, as you will find people in both the categories.

Edited July 22, 2018 by sargam

[merimo28]

On 7/7/2018 at 7:06 PM, Emne said:

Hello. I am a guy who has never had sex or had a girlfriend. I don't think this is something that is going to change. How do I get over it and move on to focusing on other areas of life?

Well, it will change if you keep making some efforts. If your altitude is "I will never have sex" then you have a problem  Just keep trying that's all...

[Leo Gura]

On 7/13/2018 at 2:46 AM, billiesimon said:

@Leo Gura that's true, but I still have a lot of confusion about your stance on dating and approaching.

In your video about PUA you suggest to find a more authentic and non-technical approach to dating. So is it ok to learn the process of dating as you suggest in the quote? Or is it inauthentic and deceitful?

I still don't get what you suggested to do with approaching girls with honesty in practical terms. Is it ok to flirt? To plan the logistics of the date?

You can learn all the techniques and psychology behind attraction and relationships. That is not a problem. In fact, it's very important and women will ultimately appreciate it.

The problem arises when you start to turn all of that into an ideology and identity, the way PUA culture does. Don't become that alpha-bro manwhore who runs around chasing women all the time and bragging about it.

Attract women, but above all, be a good kind man. Don't become a manipulative used dick salesmen. Learn to develop deep relationships with those women you attract. Don't do it for the sex or the ego, do it for the growth opportunities.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Leo-Tzu I may be wrong but i think he got it right his book teaches the fundamentals and its a must read..

[Joseph Maynor]

You’re not creating and developing any opportunities for you to get laid.  It’s not that you’re unable, you’re just not doing any work.  Would you expect to be great at math without doing any math problems?  Do not expect girls to approach you in life.  That’s a horrible strategy bro.  It will just lead you to more and more misery over time.  If you wanna get laid, you need to create and develop, through daily efforts and work, sustainable systems to make getting paid happen in your life.  Unless you’re tall and handsome or have money or fame — girls are just not gonna approach you.  The only sustainable solution for you to get laid is to approach girls on a regular basis.  That’s your responsibility to create and develop a system to change a system you don’t like — namely, you not getting laid!  But I can tell you this — waiting around for girls to come to you is a disaster for a dating strategy.  Big time disaster.

Edited August 14, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Barbarian Number 8]

@Emne  First... Can you do it? I mean mechanicly.

If so, the "capture a female phase" and the "presentation phase" needs refining.

If not possible, pick left or right hand, alternetivly rent somebody.

[merimo28]

Consider using sites and apps for getting laid, or if that don't provide any results consider escorts as the getting laidsolution...