What should I do?

[lukmi]

Hello people,

I am in a dilemma currently. I am thinking about life purpose and have two different scenarios in mind:

1. Me building connected digital systems that we can use to build amazing space stations as in Star Trek
2. Me fighting for free and open software

When I try to work on #1 and think in these terms every day in my life, I encounter situations which I feel are not right - like when I am offered to use a proprietary software to do a task. I really feel that the fact that the developers don't tell me what the software does but want me to use it and even pay money for it is just wrong. Imagine a friend of yours would hand you a USB storage with a program he has written and he would tell you: "I don't tell you what it does but please run it!" Would you trust him or would you be sceptical? I would be very sceptical unless he tells me what it does - meaning giving me the source code and proving that this really is the program he gave me the source code of.
But on the other hand side, behaving like that, and starting to opt out of cloud services and other software I don't trust, is making me feel negative emotions as my world image is then governed by the concern of trying to protect myself from people that want to sell my data to advertising companies and are able to spy on me. Working on point #1 on the list, however, would make me feel more liberal - like mankind is on the same side and on the way to explore space and so on. It also makes me pretty creative as I enjoy designing electronics and programming a lot.

So in a way, I want to do #1. But while doing so I am pulled towards #2 because #2 meets some values that I seem to have. Now, pursuing #2 makes me feel bad though because of the reasons I named, so I try to focus on #1 more. Which results in a loop.
I am 20 years old, and study Computer Engineering - so I am at a point where I would really like to decide which track to set for myself. But I don't know what to do.
I am thankful for you wanting to help me out!

[Nahm]

There’s no time to waste thinking about what you don’t want. Master focus. Apply it to what you want. “What you don’t want” only serves you to realize more so what you do want. No more looping. No more negative feelings or inner chatter. All that exists, is what you want. That’s all you see, and that’s all you think about.