Why are some people drawn to self-actualizion while others are not?

[Zweistein]

Is it because they experienced more suffering in their childhood or through a traumatic experience?

[Joseph Maynor]

Growth leads to fulfillment.  There's a sense in which we want to grow.  And there's always more that you can grow.  The more you grow, the more fulfilled you get.  We can gloss it and say the happier you get, although 'fulfillment' has a deeper meaning than 'happiness' does.  So, growth leads to happiness.  What we want to do is evolve well for ourselves.  

Edited July 4, 2018 by Joseph Maynor

[Brittany]

I have noticed suffering and trauma to be a huge factor. It is not a requirement, but suffering and trauma usually lead people here.

[Paulus Amadeus]

@Brittany, Conscious suffering I would say. Everyone has trauma's and suffers. The more unconscious someone is the more he/she was traumatized. You don't close done from love for fun. There are just some people who have enough conscousness to be aware of their immens suffering and who believe that change is possible. These are the self-actualizers ofcourse. But everyone is hurt, traumatized and scared. Might just not be on the surface very much for some of the people that look more oblivious. 

[PsiloPutty]

Some people believe completely in the dream. There's little possibility of waking up from something that to them isn't a dream. 

For those of us who realize or at least suspect that there's something more going on, I think we have an innate and deep sense of curiosity as a common denominator. It seems most people lose that curiosity in childhood, when they start believing that they know who they are and how the world works. Burdened with those illusions, there's no need for that curiosity anymore, so they ditch it, get a job, start working on those 2.5 children and all the other trappings of the dream. 

 

[Paulus Amadeus]

 @Etagnwo I think this is largely true. Although there are definitely people who were pretty much totally broke, went to an ashram and got enlightened over time. I do think that if you are that far in your personal development that you are ready for enligthenment, you should also be able to make money. But for some it's just not necessary. They are content with being poor and they find a way to survive while spending most of their time doing their practise. 

[Brittany]

5 hours ago, Paulus Amadeus said:

@Brittany, Conscious suffering I would say. Everyone has trauma's and suffers. The more unconscious someone is the more he/she was traumatized. You don't close done from love for fun. There are just some people who have enough conscousness to be aware of their immens suffering and who believe that change is possible. These are the self-actualizers ofcourse. But everyone is hurt, traumatized and scared. Might just not be on the surface very much for some of the people that look more oblivious. 

For me, it was unconscious suffering. 

I had to choose between suicide or non-duality. Some choose suicide. I think Jeff Foster is another person who had to choose between suicide or non-duality.

[Zweistein]

19 hours ago, Etagnwo said:

@Zweistein I think it's because there is less need. I have come to the tentative conclusion that the more pain a person is in, the more they will seek a solution. That depends largely on our level of education. I've observed that less educated people tend to try to deal with their suffering through socially acceptable distractions like drink, drugs, relationships because that's what they can handle. And it works to a certain degree. 

The more intellectually advanced will seek a more conscious solution, maybe because they have either gone through the first stage of distraction and found it didn't work for them, or they are educated enough to know that these distractions can become unhealthy. 

There are also the camp that literally have no life experience, who are not socialised to the point of even getting into a relationship and because of their high cognitive capacity chose systems like Actualized.org and go full throttle on the enlightenment. Which again is not really that intelligent. 

In my opinion self actualization should be for already adjusted people that have found conventional life to be lacking and are naturally seeking more from life. Those types are the ones who are going to be successful at this because they have worked their worldly desires out and have already got financial stability and a good base to start.  

I agree with much of what you said, but can I ask why you are here? ? 

[Guest Quanty]

Suffering is the main cause. Those who were abused energetically and emotionally from little children like me, they get it. In this case, the suffering will awaken faster. Is more prepared with it, has nothing to lose anymore. 

[MisterMan]

I think it's a religious type of thing. When i was a teenager i knew many adults who had a troubled past and i'm sure you do too who "found the lord our saviour jesus christ" and became loving beings. Totally changed people, always nice and just grateful for everything. 

I think this is a similar dynamic just with a different perspective applied to it. People get sick of resentment and look for change, in loving embrace.

Edited July 9, 2018 by MisterMan

[tsuki]

On 4.07.2018 at 11:22 AM, Zweistein said:

Is it because they experienced more suffering in their childhood or through a traumatic experience?

Everybody suffered only their own traumatic childhood, so comparing yourself to others is absurd in this respect.
I think that we all are drawn to self-improvement, but the means of the improvement are different.
'Normal' people try to change the world to be more hospitable, but 'we' change ourselves to need less.

There is not much difference, really. Not unless you can't see that there is no you that improves anything.
That change however is not visible externally, so after all - reality has its final laugh at us.

[Zweistein]

@tsuki thank you! 

I=we must have had a quite unconscious moment asking this question, lol.... ? Wait, that was a judgement now, wasn't it? I better shut up....

Edited July 9, 2018 by Zweistein

[pluto]

In most cases this image explains most of these questions.

In a Nutshell

[Zweistein]

@pluto love this image ?

@Artaemis Oh don't worry, I won't shut up. Now, I know why I = we are here. My intuition told me ?

Edited July 10, 2018 by Zweistein

[denydritz]

@pluto Yeah that is a nice, slightly concerning, image

It's interesting that experiencing suffering leads us to self-actualization. I think there is 'external' suffering (caused by abuse, trauma, etc) and 'internal' suffering (not reaching dreams, feeling lack of passion, etc). I don't have external suffering but I do have internal suffering, and it's what lead me to find this forum.

I want to say that people who are drawn to self-actualization are perhaps more 'self reflective' (the Melancholic type personality). Other people who are not as self-reflective (such as the Sanguine type personality) don't give much thought about learning self-actualization, though that doesn't mean they are not self actualized (if that makes sense).

We in this forum are doing intentional self-actualization, but I believe other people are doing their own form of 'unintentional' actualization.

Cheers!

[Pav]

It seems that the struggle for survival is a big factor, people are too focused on chasing financial security and pursuing societal ideals to be concerned with real growth.

Maslow found that you only have two option in life, to move forward into growth or to regress into security and comfort. 

There is also the fact that the vast majority of people haven't even heard of self-actualisation.

Edited July 10, 2018 by Mathew Pav

[tsuki]

On 9.07.2018 at 10:14 PM, Zweistein said:

@tsuki thank you! 

I=we must have had a quite unconscious moment asking this question, lol.... ? Wait, that was a judgement now, wasn't it? I better shut up....

I think that you shouldn't concern yourself too much with judgments.
All statements are judgments. By saying anything you judge reality to be such and such.
This is why I prefer to answer questions by asking more questions. I think that questions are much more honest to what we experience.

[Zweistein]

1 hour ago, tsuki said:

I think that you shouldn't concern yourself too much with judgments.
All statements are judgments. By saying anything you judge reality to be such and such.
This is why I prefer to answer questions by asking more questions. I think that questions are much more honest to what we experience.

@tsuki Yeah, I love asking questions, too. I have come to the conclusion that if I find myself giving advice (without being asked for it), then there is something inside of me that I still need to work on ;-) I typically write advice also in a hidden form talking about me rather than about the other person. I assume you understand what I = we are talking about, haha.

Edited July 11, 2018 by Zweistein

[tsuki]

Quote

I post to share wisdom and read my ignorance.

@Zweistein Yep ,

[SpyAquamarine]

On 7/4/2018 at 0:12 PM, Paulus Amadeus said:

@Brittany, Conscious suffering I would say. Everyone has trauma's and suffers. The more unconscious someone is the more he/she was traumatized. You don't close done from love for fun. 

When I see people behaving unconsiously or suffering I always imagine us all as beautiful, abundant, inocent babies. What must have happened to us to lead us where we are now? This brings much compassion to my life and opens my heart more and more every time.

Edited July 11, 2018 by SpyAquamarine