I'm afraid to improve myself...

[Cakrasp]

Hi all,

I discovered actualized.org, then I started meditating and I realized that I am afraid to move forward in life : I am afraid to stop procrastinating, to start self-actualizing, because I will lose my personality....

After meditating, I can't stay with a "clean" mind, I just fill it with things...

I also struggle a lot to be consistent in my habits, sometimes, I just won't do them, because I will find a very strong excuse...

What should I do... ?

[zoey101]

6 minutes ago, Cakrasp said:

Hi all,

I discovered actualized.org, then I started meditating and I realized that I am afraid to move forward in life : I am afraid to stop procrastinating, to start self-actualizing, because I will lose my personality....

After meditating, I can't stay with a "clean" mind, I just fill it with things...

I also struggle a lot to be consistent in my habits, sometimes, I just won't do them, because I will find a very strong excuse...

What should I do... ?

Just keep at it It's going to take a while to change your lifestyle habits but it won't happen unless you make a constant effort. I have been working on self-actualizing for only a few months now and it is still hard to really silence all your thoughts, but it can be done. 

How old are you? You have to take your circumstances into consideration. Not that they automatically excuse you from any of the work, but it helps take some of the pressure off. I am a 24 year old mother with a full time job and am involved in my church, so my schedule is really packed and it leaves plenty of room for procrastination. But I do my best to fit in my self actualizing when I can, and don't hold it against myself when my ego decides to skip it for a day. 

I think the second you start pressuring yourself with this stuff, you are already unable to clear your mind properly, because now all you can think of is how you messed up and all the ways you need to make sure it doesn't happen. That is far from a clear mind. 

Just enjoy you life journey moment by moment. The best part about a bad moment, is once the next moment comes, that bad one is gone. It can't effect you without your consent. Just live every moment like a new one  

[purerogue]

 

 

I can give you only by  opinion on what you should do.

Quote

I discovered actualized.org, then I started meditating and I realized that I am afraid to move forward in life : I am afraid to stop procrastinating, to start self-actualizing, because I will lose my personality

Can you give example? 

Quote

I also struggle a lot to be consistent in my habits, sometimes, I just won't do them, because I will find a very strong excuse...

 

I think best thing you can do is just do not think of anything, do not allow excuses even to go in your mind, if you let them  in  you will lose, no matter how much you try to find counter excuses, like 1 second law , you do it , or you don't do it. 

it work very similar to your emotions, you let them slip trough you without letting them manifest.

 

Edited July 2, 2018 by purerogue

[Cakrasp]

18 minutes ago, zoey101 said:

Just keep at it It's going to take a while to change your lifestyle habits but it won't happen unless you make a constant effort. I have been working on self-actualizing for only a few months now and it is still hard to really silence all your thoughts, but it can be done. 

How old are you? You have to take your circumstances into consideration. Not that they automatically excuse you from any of the work, but it helps take some of the pressure off. I am a 24 year old mother with a full time job and am involved in my church, so my schedule is really packed and it leaves plenty of room for procrastination. But I do my best to fit in my self actualizing when I can, and don't hold it against myself when my ego decides to skip it for a day. 

I think the second you start pressuring yourself with this stuff, you are already unable to clear your mind properly, because now all you can think of is how you messed up and all the ways you need to make sure it doesn't happen. That is far from a clear mind. 

Just enjoy you life journey moment by moment. The best part about a bad moment, is once the next moment comes, that bad one is gone. It can't effect you without your consent. Just live every moment like a new one  

Thanks for your answer,

I am 17 years old and I have to work for my business. Yes, staying chill about life is important and nice  .

 

 

20 minutes ago, purerogue said:

 

 

I can give you only by  opinion on what you should do.

Can you give example? 

 

I think best thing you can do is just do not think of anything, do not allow excuses even to go in your mind, if you let them  in  you will lose, no matter how much you try to find counter excuses, like 1 second law , you do it , or you don't do it. 

it work very similar to your emotions, you let them slip trough you without letting them manifest.

 

Well, for example, I will delay exercising, I will delay meditating...etc .

Avoiding my thoughts in the first place, would be the best choice, but sometimes I feel a very uncomfortable pain, when I don't delay stuff and I am "productive"/self-actualizing...

[purerogue]

How about this, avoid thoughts, but stop doing it if it feels unpleasant, you should not force yourself , it will make it only worse, you should not feel like it is forced thing, you have to tell yourself that you can stop any time you want.

Start by little steps and check where it takes you, also you can try to have like 20 -30 min walk to feel better. 

[Cakrasp]

13 minutes ago, purerogue said:

How about this, avoid thoughts, but stop doing it if it feels unpleasant, you should not force yourself , it will make it only worse, you should not feel like it is forced thing, you have to tell yourself that you can stop any time you want.

Start by little steps and check where it takes you, also you can try to have like 20 -30 min walk to feel better. 

I will try to not force myself yes...

[zoey101]

@Cakrasp Just enjoy the journey. It's like any science class. The content and the study required may be difficult and a little time consuming, but the ultimate goal is to learn and explore. It's not supposed to crush you into submission lol  

[purerogue]

I think your unpleasant feelings are because you are thinking of excuses at the time you are doing it, you should be able to tell if it is the case, relaxing mind of such thoughts is not easy and trying to stop them can be more harmful then useful if overdone, take your time. 

Edited July 2, 2018 by purerogue

[PsiloPutty]

 

Not that it's a competition, but do you know how far ahead of the crowd you'll be if, at 17 years old, you start meditating once a day for just 20 minutes? Leaps and bounds. If I were you, I'd put the NOTION of self-improvement out of your mind, because it sounds like the thought of it freaks you out right now. Just meditate for year or two and come back to "self-improvement" after that. The meditating, all by itself, will change you for the better, and you'll then be in a better place to readdress the issue. Plus you'll be older and more emotionally mature at that point. LOL, that last line wasn't meant to sound derogatory.