Went on a date with a girl today. Went interesting

[thehero]

I've never been so anxious in my life before. It was so astonishing. 

I was anxious for a full 3 hours!!!!

I really tried to get comfortable

When she would stare at me for a second, that would get me really scare the shit out of me. I felt like she was judging me (she would stare at me for 2 seconds after every paragraph/sentence I said. wtf)

Like I would say something, and then she would just sit there staring at me. That was just mad awkward lol. I literally could not handle that

It was a fun conversation overall, went through many enjoyable topics

But I would get really anxious about her reaction to things. Will she think I'm dumb? Will she think I'm weird?

She was also very sarcastic. I got offended by these little things Even though I knew they were just jokes. 

She was a nice gal. 

Can someone give me some hope and tell me that I can overcome these fears? I feel very helpless to these fears and it's driving me crazy. 

What do I do? What's happening? I'm overthinking everything. I don't know how to be comfortable!! It's driving me NUTS. 

I was so damn nervous I think she will not call me back (yes I know millions others in the sea)

Edited July 2, 2018 by thehero

[d0ornokey]

You look into RSD?

[denydritz]

Hi Hero, I would suggest simply to talk to as many girls as possible, especially ones that interest you romantically. Being anxious or nervous when talking to a girl is a case of not interacting enough with the opposite sex (in my experience), in terms of romance. You may interact with a lot of girls but you strictly see them as friends and nothing more, so when you interact with someone whom you see as a potential partner, you lack the experience.

The fear is not real as nobody can guess what she is thinking. And if her behavior does offend you, then there is always the next girl who is equally amazing and doesn't offend or scare you (although you may need to talk to many girls before you find one that clicks with you). Don't overthink anything. I would suggest to simply not think about anything until the next interaction happens (online or face to face) and take it from there.

Cheers!

[egoeimai]

@thehero hey hero. First,you are a hero so be brave lol 

Second, I think that ,you know,there are some people in our lives that bring out those feelings and we feel uncomfy af. I think that's not the right person for you. When you meet the right person, it all just seems calm,comfortable,easy,Nice,natural,at home, man! Thats how you know! 

Easy peasy lemon squeezie! ?

Move on! 

[Spiral]

I get nervous from dates, idk know why. Usually it’s fine when I get there so you are not alone.

Breathing is the way to go to become more comfortable.

[YaNanNallari]

It might also be that you were actually really repelled by her for x reason and hence anxious. So don't be too hard on yourself. With fears, just look at them. Feel them. If they don't pass, it is not time for them to pass

[SFRL]

@thehero

What's going on is that you was testing you a.k.a shit-testing you. 

Those tests are meant for her to figure out if you are a good enough guy to fuck/date/marry. 

Testing is actually a way of flirting and it shows that she is attracted to you. They actually want you to pass those tests that they give you although they can be uncomfortable. It's the same as your highschool teacher. He/she is probably a good nice supportive  person who really wants you to get a good grade on the written test they give you. But if you give the wrong answer they are still going to fail you. 

It's the same with shit-tests women give men. They want you to pass, and they will be happy and impressed if you show the right behavior. But if you show the wrong behaviour they are going to fail you. 

Look up these key words on Google and YouTube there are plenty of articles and videos to learn from. "Women testing men" "Shit-tests" "How to pass her tests" "Why women test men" "Frame control dating" 

I added frame control because it ties into the behaviour you need to show to pass her tests. 

You also need to keep going out with girls on dates to get lots of experience and exposure.

The article below explains a lot about Shit-tests:

https://www.girlschase.com/comment/9631

Edited July 4, 2018 by SFRL

[aurum]

On 7/2/2018 at 2:00 AM, thehero said:

What do I do? What's happening? I'm overthinking everything. I don't know how to be comfortable!! It's driving me NUTS. 

Part of it is just fear of the unknown. You're not used to going on dates and so you're nervous.

Prescription: more dates, more meditation.

[NoSelfSelf]

You want her approval and acceptence and your body is reacting if you are not going to get her approval something terrible with happen they will kick you out from society your needs wont be satisfied etc

[Gili Trawangan]

I've been on hundreds of dates and I still get nervous sometimes. I accept this body nervousness and dismiss it. The place you want to get to is where you don't really mind whether or not the date goes well. The universe knows, if it's meant to be you two will click, as someone else said above.

On a more practical note, what was said by others here is important, the more dates you go on the easier it will be to be detached from the outcome. And detachment is key, because, as I'm sure you know already, women detest neediness. They are subconsciously looking for signals that you are confident about your self and don't need their approval. This kind of confidence cannot be easily faked, only when it is rock solid will it shine through and then you will dismiss girls' tests (such as staring, that's a good one!) without flinching.

Good luck!

[Girzo]

@Scati I think... get the f*ck out with your stupid marketing schemes.

[Focus Shift]

@thehero It's completely normal to be anxious. I still have some anxiety approaching girls (though its got a lot better recently). Just keep putting yourself out there and it'll get better with experience. Also, enjoy the butterflies

[Aeris]

Self actualisation.

I was already dead before my first sex.

So emptiness and fullness integrated : actuality was movieness. No 'mind monkey'. Soul control.

So I was fully breathing. No thought no pré ideas. Just like riding a bike all the way.

People like you probably never had been close with girl even for friendship.

Hell why it's sooooooooo stupid to be anxious around a simple tchat.

Things should have been anxious for me when my first was 10/10 & she wanted to rape me in her home the first day we met.

Edited October 9, 2019 by Aeris

[PenguinPablo]

17 hours ago, Aeris said:

Self actualisation.

I was already dead before my first sex.

So emptiness and fullness integrated : actuality was movieness. No 'mind monkey'. Soul control.

So I was fully breathing. No thought no pré ideas. Just like riding a bike all the way.

People like you probably never had been close with girl even for friendship.

Hell why it's sooooooooo stupid to be anxious around a simple tchat.

Things should have been anxious for me when my first was 10/10 & she wanted to rape me in her home the first day we met.

You were enlightened before ever having sex?