After dealing with a bipolar dad and a psychotic brother triggered by drugs...

[Pamela Zamora]

I loved weed, and I used to smoke it everyday, after seeing that my brother got psychotic due to drugs and he was a chronic weed smoker, I moved to Miami and have been occasionally smoking with a very bitter taste on my lips. Due to my guilt, I have had really bad episodes in which I just quit life, I lay down on bed all day long as I am doing now, I skip work and I eat all the bad food, i have even taken food that’s not mine from my roommates in many occasions 

 

i did stop smoking and buying weed like 2 months ago from when I moved to Seattle  but the occasional times I’ve smoked it has just been my worst living scenario.

I am not sure where I want to get here, but I am a lot into spirituality and I’ve been reading the Gita, and I know it is an ego game. My dad and my brother are me, and I should only be taking all of their lessons into my life, I smoke weed and I let the ego out, and it is not pretty.

 

has anyone lived through this? And do you have any advise? I only feel as if I screwed up my life and I’m gonna get fired from the one job I actually liked, as if I am chastising myself. Pure and good karma from me to me.

[Prabhaker]

3 hours ago, Pamela Zamora said:

And do you have any advise?

Make a time table and try to follow it everyday.

Walk in morning and evening regularly, empty stomach. Walk very slowly in a relaxed way. Keep your body loose especially lower belly (abdomen) and shoulders. 

Don't breathe from chest, always breathe from belly (abdomen), try to keep your belly relaxed all day.

Eat slowly, chew food properly, drink water many times a day, sleep well, wear loose clothing, don't talk too much.

Don't do anything which exhausts you, like watching too much TV, playing too much video games etc.

3 hours ago, Pamela Zamora said:

I’ve been reading the Gita

Whatever happened, happened for good.
Whatever is happening, is happening for good.
Whatever will happen, that will be for good as well.

~ The Gita

So relax! relax your body, relax your behavior, relax your acts. Walk in a relaxed way, eat in a relaxed way, talk, listen in a relaxed way. Slow down every process. Don't be in a hurry and don't be in haste. 

[Pamela Zamora]

That is wisdom!

Thank you for embodying it!

It is so amazing how much life will give you literally the answer in writings like Those  

I promise I will just do that, relax. And embody the truth, everything is falling into place. That’s what life is about

[Moreira]

You may have your dopamine receptors damaged due to the abuse of weed and tasty food, if you follow this lifestyle then it will be medically impossible to experience happiness.

Stay away from short term gratification and stimulation. When your brain will be healed you will experience pure bliss just meditating. The little pleasures in life will feel like enormous pleasure.

[Just Do Nothing]

Weed makes one lethargic and has a tendency to change the mind state.  This is not good if you are in a negative phase of mind state.

Your experiences you’ve described such as a laying in bed all day and eating food that’s not yours sound like symptoms of depression. 

Marijuana increases your awareness and perhaps you are aware of something introverted you are not pleased with.

I would advise to do something productive such as exercise and seek counselling to talk out your inner flurry.

Stop smoking for now and perhaps smoke when you are in a better place or perhaps quit all together as you may be able to find inner peace without the herb.

If not then smoke hash at least, less taxing on emotional energies 

 

 

 

 

[Pamela Zamora]

@Just Do Nothing @Moreira  I made a whole 1 hour writing about it. And I did come to the conclusion that since Weed makes my thoughts larger, the negative thoughts were more predominant. I got deeply in a Depression State.

There is a lot of Guilt with the mere act of smoking weed, (From my dad and brothers experience) and it gets triggered while I smoke it, my thoughts are those of guilt, and Shame. 

So, it is amazing how my ending results were what you actually are suggesting. I know that this is a matter of loving myself enough to know where my best state of being is. And it is when I have been sober, meditating and reading and learning daily when I have grown the most.

I have taken weed from the illusions of my mind, beliefs, attitudes and conditioning, but I am willing to let go and to love myself enough to quit weed.

 

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[Gabriel Antonio]

Have you ever experimented with psychedelics?

I used to smoke a lot of weed, but when I started for example taking ayahuasca, I realized that weed is overrated.

You can get much cooler experiences with psychedelics, and they can also get you out of depression.

If you you keep using weed, try changing your self-talk. Instead of saying something like: "Omg... I am so terrible for using weed. I am going to end up like my dad and my brother", try something more compassionate such as: "Ok, I know I should probably not smoke weed. And I wish I could stop using it, but it's been hard." Can you feel the difference?

 

This video is very eye-opening. Thanks to @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj for sharing.

 

Btw - do you really think canabbis is bad for you?  Do you have psychotic tendencies?

Edited July 8, 2018 by Gabriel Antonio

[Charlotte]

Another thread that's sparked my interest on your behalf sir  @rounder

[S33K3R]

I understand where you are coming from. I went through that myself. For me smoking helped me face things that were too hard to face when not smoking. Like I would just suppress things and it would turn into severe anger and even a bit of rage. I dont know if that is what is happening with you. It was hard at first because I would wallow in my depression, but it also gave me time to reflect and start to have compassion for myself. Which before I just told myself that I need to get over it and didnt really care about my own pain.