Posted March 17, 2016 It's largely a fear of missing out. Honestly, I really don't want to date, but sex and love is so built up by society that it seems like I'm throwing away the best thing in life to pursue what seems more appealing to me. This makes me feel like a weirdo. I know the obvious advice is to try it out and see if I like it. The thing is I would need to invest a lot of time and effort to get to the point I can actually attract the type of women I am into-- I don't want to make this huge investment for something that I am no so sure I want. I have spent hundreds of hours working toward things that honestly don't seem fulfilling to me. I don't want to spend thousands more just to find out it was over-rated. I'd like to ask your perspectives on the matter, as I'm indecisive right now. Anyone who has a great history with dating-- is it really the most fulfilling thing ever? Anyone who has foregone that path-- are you full of regret or deeply satisfied in life? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2016 Wow very interesting post Saitama. Let me tell you I'm not a casanova or something like that but I can say I've been in love and know quite a bit about relationships and so on. It is important that you understand that what works for a vast amount of people (which mostly fake it) doesn't have to work for you... Yes we are all human beings but the need we have to relate to others, share interests and so on doesn't have to be linked to person with a relationship. You can obtain those things out of friendship or family. But the thing is, if you haven't found someone that really really attracts you in every aspect you don't really need a relationship. I'll explain, you don't need a relationship to be fully satisfied but as you go through life you'll find amazing people that you want to have close and sometimes that can lead to a relationship, it's something natural, no need to force it or look for it, it will come by its own means. So answering to your questions, it is fulfilling if its a true and natural feeling and yes, I do feel satisfied with my relationships but there are others (those that came from a need) that I do regret because they made me feel miserable. Conclusion: Let life take it's course, maybe you come across someone which really fulfills you, who knows Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2016 6 hours ago, Saitama said: Anyone who has a great history with dating-- is it really the most fulfilling thing ever? Ever? No. Personally, I've put a lot of time and effort into understanding relationship and women. I find it very fulfilling and would recommend it. Its more than just sex, its knowing how to connect with a woman at a much deeper level. 6 hours ago, Saitama said: Anyone who has foregone that path-- are you full of regret or deeply satisfied in life? No regret what so ever! I am deeply satisfied. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2016 I like the Sun Tzu approach. That is how I lived my live. I tried to live that book even as a teenager. Accordingly, I played to my strengths an positioned myself in the most favorable position. You see, I have been in martial arts since age 5. So I spent my later teens teaching and personal training. In this way I was able to meet women, discuss common ground and thereby was it was easy for me to initiate conversation. From there it was easy to date and get laid. To me the trick is to make yourself desirable and interesting instead of pursuing women, the way of doing so is reflecting the desirable traits a woman wants in a man (be a fisherman rather than a hunter). I used my strengths in nightclubs and bars as well. I went with a female friend or two just to have fun, then we would hang out, joke around dance together. Many other women, seeing that I was having fun would definitely notice me and then I would ask several of the women to dance. Afterward, it was quite easy to get a few numbers from the girls that I liked. Then I would eventually set up a coffee or mall date and get to know her a little bit. Afterward, we would hang out a watch a movie at someone's house and talk, joke around and eventually make out... and then we go from there. I was pretty successful at dating, but I didn't use tricks or seduction. I just went to have fun and go with the flow. Of course I wanted to get laid, but that wasn't the main goal of me talking to women. I just wanted to have a good time just hanging out. If I got sex great, if not at least I made a friend of her... She often had connections to other women that I was able to get intimate with. Just don't get hung on one woman if she isn't interested, your goal is to just learn about women and how to converse with them. So if she doesn't wanna give it up, just keep talking to other women... It didn't take much effort or time on my part, other than just socializing. It was pretty fun and fulling because I was just making friends. Look, don't even bother with the pickup game is my advice. Just work on improving your charisma. With charisma, you can easily attract a woman without having to work like a jackass. What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2016 16 hours ago, Saitama said: It's largely a fear of missing out. Honestly, I really don't want to date, but sex and love is so built up by society that it seems like I'm throwing away the best thing in life to pursue what seems more appealing to me. This makes me feel like a weirdo. I know the obvious advice is to try it out and see if I like it. The thing is I would need to invest a lot of time and effort to get to the point I can actually attract the type of women I am into-- I don't want to make this huge investment for something that I am no so sure I want. I have spent hundreds of hours working toward things that honestly don't seem fulfilling to me. I don't want to spend thousands more just to find out it was over-rated. I'd like to ask your perspectives on the matter, as I'm indecisive right now. Anyone who has a great history with dating-- is it really the most fulfilling thing ever? Anyone who has foregone that path-- are you full of regret or deeply satisfied in life? Honestly there is not very much time needed for you to start getting dates... Read "Models, Attract Women Through Honesty - Mark Manson" and keep notes on things you think matter or what might be REALLY important for you. Practice the things in the book and you should be good to go. The most important step (of any book) is to practice the things you were taught. But do this and you're good to go I would not say it's fulfilling to sleep with as many women you can. See it like this; You are reading books on human psychology, human interaction and social skills. The goal of this is for you to get better self-esteem and confidence as well as becoming more comfortable with other people, men or women. On this journey to your goal you ARE going to attract some women and maybe sleep with them. But they were not your goal and should not be. But they ARE a part of the journey and you should enjoy it (them). If you are gonna go for picking up chicks (daygame) this is about getting more confidence to yourself. Not to get as many numbers as possible. Your main goal should be your life purpose not a women. Read "The Way of the Superior Man - David Deida" for more of this (would recommend that book anyway) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 17, 2016 @reez Thanks, and I know that after having studied pick up for a long time. The thing is I don't want to pursue those egoic things, and I don't really like socializing, so I don't get a lot of pleasure out of working on game. I'm super introverted and prefer work oriented things. I think I'm going to just keep doing personal development and let women come to me as a product of my growth. I don't chase girls. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 18, 2016 @Saitama Don't you like to socialize or you don't like to be social? It's a big difference. If you just don't like to socialize but like to be social I suggest you do it anyway. But if you don't like to be social with other people, then leave it. Might make your life a bit harder if you're forcing yourself I was diagnosed with Light-Asperger, but having a diagnose or thinking you are something (for example introvert) doesn't really mean anything Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2016 @Saitama I like to think of it as an evolutionary process,, why would we try and skip any stages.. They are there for a reason.. The only time we can progress is when we have actually experienced them.. If you feel you can see the end game and decide to skip then its possible you may need to come back and relive again.. lets face it life is about mastery and experience. I just have a feeling things are evolutionary and we need to crawl before we can walk.. I would be suspicious of my mind justifying not putting in the effort (sounds like my ego making excuses) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted March 19, 2016 @Saitama dating is teaching me things about other areas i could not have anticipated.. teachs me about myself.. at times i think I am only learning a small percentage about actuall dating.. seems we where made to form relationships. whilst here we may as well master it.. Hey if you have no desire that would be different, but it sounds like you think do have some instinct there to forfill this even though your egoic mind think it is all for nothing.. PS Get used to things being all for nothing... Such is life.. !! hahaha Do it anyways.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
