Self inquiry, Mediation and Depression

[Bernard]

I've noticed that when I do self inquiry, mediate, or any sort of introspection for an extended period of time it puts me in a depressive state. Reason why I have to do it periodically because it can start to effect my everyday life because of all the emotions, thoughts and fears start to bubble up.

Does this happen to anyone else? How do y'all cope or deal with it? I'm sure there's a way to balance things out and say. "Ok time to go to work and stop thinking about it now". Usually I take my state with me everywhere I go.

[Prabhaker]

1 hour ago, Bernard said:

it puts me in a depressive state.

You may not be ready to be aware of all the insanity that is inside you; you must be allowed to get to know certain things gradually. Do something active like walking as meditation instead of sitting and doing nothing. 

[Bernard]

@Prabhaker I think you're right. I'm still going to meditate but I'll do it in a more balanced manner. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[Nahm]

@Bernard

Meditation (imo) is not-thinking time. Letting go. Allowing the natural, authentic self. You should have clarity, and feel free & rejuvenated afterwards. 

Self inquiry is adventurous & fun. It’s just good clean rabbit hole fun. It’s not knife tossing or jumping through hoops of fire. Nothing to be afraid of, quite the opposite. 

When “undesirable” ‘repressed emotions’ arise, thank them for what they are showing you, ask for more! 

This one is great for letting go and returning to awareness. 

(Check out these interesting meditations. The best one is the one that works best with you: https://sites.google.com/site/psychospiritualtools/Home/meditation-practices....check out the self inquiry on there too.)

 

Breath Awareness Meditation

(Basic Relaxation Meditation)

PURPOSE/EFFECTS: 
Stress is an extremely unhealthy condition. It causes the body to release the chemical cortisol, which has been shown to reduce brain and organ function, among many other dangerous effects. Modern society inadvertently encourages a state of almost continuous stress in people. 
This is a meditation that encourages physical and mental relaxation, which can greatly reduce the effects of stress on the body and mind. 

Summary
Sit still and pay close attention to your breathing process.

 

 

Long Version

Take a reposed, seated posture. Your back should be straight and your body as relaxed as possible.
 

Close your eyes, and bring your attention to your breathing process. Simply notice you are breathing. Do not attempt to change your breath in any way. Breath simply and normally. 

Try to notice both the in breath and the out breath; the inhale and the exhale. "Notice" means to actually feel the breathing in your body with your body. It is not necessary to visualize your breathing or to think about it in any way except to notice it with your somatic awareness. 

Each time your attention wanders from the act of breathing, return it to noticing the breath. Do this gently and without judgment. 

Remember to really feel into the act of breathing.

If you want to go more deeply into this, concentrate on each area of breathing in turn. Here is an example sequence:

    1. Notice how the air feels moving through your nostrils on both the in breath and the out breath. 
    
    2. Notice how the air feels moving through your mouth and throat. You may feel a sort of slightly raspy or ragged feeling as the air moves through your throat. This is normal and also something to feel into.
    
    3. Notice how the air feels as it fills and empties your chest cavity. Feel how your rib cage rises slowly with each in breath, and gently deflates with each out breath.

    4. Notice how your back expands and contracts with each breath. Actually feel it shifting and changing as you breath. 

    5. Notice how the belly expands outward with each in breath and pulls inward with each in breath. Allow your attention to fully enter the body sensation of the belly moving with each breath.

    6. Now allow your attention to cover your entire body at once as you breath in and out. Closely notice all the sensations of the body as it breathes. 

Repeat this sequence over and over, giving each step your full attention as you do it. 

Suggested time is at least 10 minutes. Thirty minutes is better, if you are capable of it. 
 

HISTORY:
Breath awareness is probably the oldest meditation technique, and is certainly the most universally known. It can be found, for example, in the Anapanasati Sutta, a scripture which summarizes the Buddha's teaching on breath awareness mediation. Anapanasati means "breath awareness meditation in Pali. The Buddha had learned the basic technique from his own teachers, which means that it existed at least as far back as 500 BCE, although it was probably already ancient at the time. 

CAUTIONS:
If you have any difficulties breathing, you should work with a qualified instructor. 

NOTES:
If you find yourself distracted by a lot of mental chatter, you can use verbal labeling as an aid to concentration. 

For example, on the in breath, mentally say to yourself, "Breathing in." On the out breath, say, "Breathing out." 

Another possibility is to mentally count each breath. 

 

[Bernard]

@Nahm Both self inquiry and meditation can make me anxious, and even depressed over time. I've noticed because my awareness and observation hightens and my demons bubble up as mentioned. So even though I may put myself in a state of now, because i been ruminating on it the feelings are still present.

It's weird how that works but I've noticed that I need to be more balanced in my approach.

 

 

[Dino D]

10 hours ago, Bernard said:

@Nahm Both self inquiry and meditation can make me anxious, and even depressed over time. I've noticed because my awareness and observation hightens and my demons bubble up as mentioned. So even though I may put myself in a state of now, because i been ruminating on it the feelings are still present.

It's weird how that works but I've noticed that I need to be more balanced in my approach.

 

 

Maybe its just because meditation and self inquiry makes you depressed... maybe it is what those ,,things" just do... every one on this forum is depressed and anxious, or like 90%, and in the search for peace and happines that they never find... take a common happy person and teach him meditation and self inquiry and they will get depresses... kids dont do that, they evan dont think/analyze that much, the are happy.

Edited July 2, 2018 by Dino D
Wrong grammar

[AmarSG1]

These depressive feelings and emotions we feel are another aspect of ourselves. The quicker we can learn to accept and integrate them the faster we experience growth, from my experience. At the same time, don't push yourself too far. But also, don't try and avoid them. 

They are indicators of what you must face!

[Bill Eichman]

Do you know what you are depressed about? Is it specific or general?

Your minds could be showing you something and saying "um, excuse me, can we work on this?".

[Salvijus]

You're probably still just new at this.

Be patiant, and remember self-enquiry is not a mental masturbation. It's simply means looking. Just put your attention not on what you see (stress, anxiety, demons) but at Who is wittnessing all those things. And can That seer be seen?

You have to work like that.

Edited July 2, 2018 by Salvijus

[Dino D]

1 hour ago, Bill Eichman said:

Do you know what you are depressed about? Is it specific or general?

Your minds could be showing you something and saying "um, excuse me, can we work on this?".

The ego is complex... we have many ,,I"s ... so if we look we will always find depression in our mind... example:I want to study, I dont want to study, I want to be an artist, I want to be a sportist... I have all those aspecta in me, if I choose one (and I did) when I meditete i find ,,5 depressed Is(people) in me" whatever you do your ego has infinite disatisfactions and problems, your many peraonalities will forever have oposite wishes, and if you meditate and search, you will find depression... if you have a wife, when you meditate you will found your suffering about not having other girls, if youre solo and you meditete you will find out that youre sad because you dont have a loving wife... mind is ego, and there is never happines... a man gas to transcendent his ego...

[Bill Eichman]

On 7/2/2018 at 11:15 AM, Dino D said:

The ego is complex... we have many ,,I"s ... so if we look we will always find depression in our mind... example:I want to study, I dont want to study, I want to be an artist, I want to be a sportist... I have all those aspecta in me, if I choose one (and I did) when I meditete i find ,,5 depressed Is(people) in me" whatever you do your ego has infinite disatisfactions and problems, your many peraonalities will forever have oposite wishes, and if you meditate and search, you will find depression... if you have a wife, when you meditate you will found your suffering about not having other girls, if youre solo and you meditete you will find out that youre sad because you dont have a loving wife... mind is ego, and there is never happines... a man gas to transcendent his ego...

19

Cool, I haven't seen many people here writing from the perspective of the "Many "i"s" teachings and models. Gurdjieff?

Most here seem mostly to be using a "Unitary "I"" teaching, or its obverse, some variation on the "No "I"" teaching.

Mind is ego? What is your sense of how that is, how it works?

What is your definition of "ego"?

I try to avoid the use of the word "ego", because it's become a catch-all word, or, you might call it a "dump word". If you study how the word is used, you find that many meanings are projected onto it, and most of those meanings severely conflict. This is true about the word in its dictionary definitions and etymology, and much more so among people doing some type of self-development or consciousness or actualization work. So, if we are to use the word "ego" we should share and calibrate definition.

To give some examples of the loading of definitions.....

The etymology online dictionary says this:

ego (n.)

1714, as a term in metaphysics, "the self; that which feels, acts, or thinks," from Latin ego "I" (cognate with Old English ic; see I). Psychoanalytic (Freudian) sense is from 1894; sense of "conceit" is 1891. Ego-trip first recorded 1969, from trip (n.). Related: egoical; egoity.

In the book of Egoism it is written, Possession without obligation to the object possessed approaches felicity. [George Meredith, "The Egoist," 1879]

Related Entries

alter-ego egocentric egoism egoist egomania egotheism egotism  egotist egotize I super-ego trip

Wiktionary
==========
From Latin ego (“I”). Chosen by Freud’s translator as a translation of his use of German Ich as a noun for this concept from the pronoun ich (“I”).
==========


Merriam-Webster
=======

1: the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world

2a : egotism

b : self-esteem 

3: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality — compare id, superego

==================
Ego is the Latin word for "I." So if a person seems to begin every sentence with "I", it's sometimes a sign of a big ego. It was the psychologist Sigmund Freud (well, actually his original translator) who put ego into the popular vocabulary, but what he meant by the word is complex, so only other psychologists really use it in the Freudian sense. The rest of us generally use ego simply to mean one's sense of self-worth, whether exaggerated or not. When used in the "exaggerated" sense, ego is almost the same thing as conceit. Meeting a superstar athlete without a trace of this kind of ego would be a most refreshing experience. But having a reasonable sense of your own worth is no sin. Life's little everyday victories are good—in fact, necessary—for a healthy ego.

 

[Torkys]

Do shadow work, observe, and work through the feeling as it appears before going further with self-inqury. If you wouldn't have emotional baggage related to these practices, they wouldn't disturb you. 

[Dino D]

23 hours ago, Bill Eichman said:

Cool, I haven't seen many people here writing from the perspective of the "Many "i"s" teachings and models. Gurdjieff?

Most here seem mostly to be using a "Unitary "I"" teaching, or its obverse, some variation on the "No "I"" teaching.

Mind is ego? What is your sense of how that is, how it works?

What is your definition of "ego"?

I try to avoid the use of the word "ego", because it's become a catch-all word, or, you might call it a "dump word". If you study how the word is used, you find that many meanings are projected onto it, and most of those meanings severely conflict. This is true about the word in its dictionary definitions and etymology, and much more so among people doing some type of self-development or consciousness or actualization work. So, if we are to use the word "ego" we should share and calibrate definition.

To give some examples of the loading of definitions.....

The etymology online dictionary says this:

ego (n.)

1714, as a term in metaphysics, "the self; that which feels, acts, or thinks," from Latin ego "I" (cognate with Old English ic; see I). Psychoanalytic (Freudian) sense is from 1894; sense of "conceit" is 1891. Ego-trip first recorded 1969, from trip (n.). Related: egoical; egoity.

In the book of Egoism it is written, Possession without obligation to the object possessed approaches felicity. [George Meredith, "The Egoist," 1879]

Related Entries

alter-ego egocentric egoism egoist egomania egotheism egotism  egotist egotize I super-ego trip

Wiktionary
==========
From Latin ego (“I”). Chosen by Freud’s translator as a translation of his use of German Ich as a noun for this concept from the pronoun ich (“I”).
==========


Merriam-Webster
=======

1: the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world

2a : egotism

b : self-esteem 

3: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality — compare id, superego

==================
Ego is the Latin word for "I." So if a person seems to begin every sentence with "I", it's sometimes a sign of a big ego. It was the psychologist Sigmund Freud (well, actually his original translator) who put ego into the popular vocabulary, but what he meant by the word is complex, so only other psychologists really use it in the Freudian sense. The rest of us generally use ego simply to mean one's sense of self-worth, whether exaggerated or not. When used in the "exaggerated" sense, ego is almost the same thing as conceit. Meeting a superstar athlete without a trace of this kind of ego would be a most refreshing experience. But having a reasonable sense of your own worth is no sin. Life's little everyday victories are good—in fact, necessary—for a healthy ego.

 

yea Gurdjieff

Comunication is used for people to comunicate each other what they mean, (think, want, feel etc)

In that seanse by defining words its not so important to conclude what the academics or science says that a word means, its more important what this word means in the context of speaking and meaning for the speaker.

 

however, by ego (and the most inspiration i got here from echart tolle) means for me this:

ego=everything that is not true, ego=everything ego= everyrthing that is a illusion, everything is illusion... the truth is GOD/nothingness/pure coinciousness/ pure awareness, ego= everything that is not nothing, in that therm everything that is not the true self, the apsolute truth is ego

pracicaly speaking, if we dont go to those apsolute levels, ego is the person, the personality, the caracter example:

Evan Jesus was ego, Jesus is a person, a human bing that expreses words, meaning and so on... yes he was a councious one, a enlightened one, but Jesus has to be also ego, because everything manifested in thi illusion is EGO, the truth in Jesus was not Jesus, the truth was the thing (whitch is nothing/GoD) that Jesuses teaching were pointing to... its the same truth that is me, that is you, that is everybody or in everybody-apsolute awareness...

so when I use ego, I mean that everything that belongs to a person, and that is expressed as a person is ego... the guy (lets call him Jack) who claims that we should protect the earth and love each other is in the same way a ego as the guy who wants to buy a fancy new car (lets call him Johnny)... you see, Jack is ego, Johnny is also a ego,,, every person is ego (person=ego) but some are more egoic, some not, some closer to counciousness some further... evan if a person expreses purecounciousness that is still a ego that expresses pure counciousness... 

 

And yea, those masterminds like Freud had their relative or proffesional definitions and usagess for ego... and thats ok for the psyhological theory or for practical purpososes, but in this spiritual seanse I dont like to define the ego in their way, because if we do define ego as something, than there is something that is not in that deffinition that is then not a ego... so we could come to a conclusion that a person that has not got that defined ego, has no ego at all, whitch in a apsolute term can not be true, because only the aposolute truth represents no ego, a person, no matter how good, counciouss and elightened it is, is a ego... in that manner a person can never be enlightened because being enlightened means being a person... when a human being speaks in that moment its not enligtenement any more, because nothingness does not speak or have properties and so on... still the paradox is that that nothingness is everything at the same time... I dont want to go to far, I think you now can get what I mean by ego, and in the light of my first comment ego is every notion and feeling and problem that arrises in meditations, in the light of Gurdjieff ego would be all the different ,,I"s together, and every one of them individually... when tehre is NO I, no person in an apsolute way, then there is no ego, and thats enlightement... what ever ,,IS" in meditation is in that way ego, so whaever you think, feel, percive is a part of some ,,I", ///is ego

[Koyaanisqatsi]

try this sometime--it helps me