how do i love people more?

[Viking]

this is where im stuck in orange i think. on the outside when im interacting with people i feel love for them and Im trying my best to make them good, but when im to myself theres a ton of judgement and hate towards people, i dont necessariliy agree with what goes on in my head but i dont feel love for others when im in that state.

[njuufa]

To love others you must start by loving yourself first. You are not supposed to make other people feel good. It just feels good to make other people laugh. But you dont have to impress others all the time. If you try too much to make them good then this becomes toxic. This actually pushes people away and ultimately brakes relationships. Notice the real effect and reaction of others that your behaviors cause. If you start loving yourself you will see how much pain your behaviors like  "feeding their ego" ; "laugh when its not even funny" etc. causes you. Be truthful with yourself and others as best as you can. We respect that  

When you judge you are setting standards for yourself, but in reality you dont really know whats actually good for you. To find out whats good for you must start loving yourself and be more aware.  It takes a lot of time and practice, change of people you hang around with and your emotions will get out of control. Be ready of this rollercoaster. Take few deep breaths before you answer - make it as rule. This will help you to see your shortcomings that you normally make. 

 

[Torkys]

Love will come naturally. You can't force it, you aren't the source of Love. 

 

[Viking]

7 minutes ago, Torkys said:

Love will come naturally. You can't force it, you aren't the source of Love. 

 

man, for some reason that dude's videos just bore me to hell

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Viking said:

this is where im stuck in orange i think. on the outside when im interacting with people i feel love for them and Im trying my best to make them good, but when im to myself theres a ton of judgement and hate towards people, i dont necessariliy agree with what goes on in my head but i dont feel love for others when im in that state.

You’re not stuck, nor on the outside, nor actually interacting with people, nor feeling love for them, nor trying, nor are they bad and need to be made good. The universe in it’s entirety is your projection. That is what you are. Keeping thinking you are less, and it’s going to keep feeling lousy. 

When you’re by yourself and you feel that “hate”, it’s the actual love that you are, meeting the contrary thoughts you’ve been thinking. Stay alone longer. The love will always purify. The ego will use every thought possible to get you to stop sitting alone, up to and including thoughts which can convince you that you will die.  

There is only you. Judgements are not an event in which you are judging someone else. You’re only judging yourself, judging what you’ve created with yourself. Why it doesn’t feel good is obvious, right? As an actionable analogy, look at your foot and say “you piece of shit foot, I hate you”. Hilarious right? Cause it’s your foot. Same with everything. Acceptance, surrender...love, what is. Can you make a distinction between the human emotion referred to as love (contrived), and the actuality of the fabric of the universe - love? If not, be alone, it naturally arises, there is nothing else which could arise because there is nothing else. 

[Victor Mgazi]

Learn to see yourself when you look at other people. Not necessarily in a compassionate way but more in a non-dualistic sense. That would be real love. 

Try to acknowledge that every critic is a hypocrite because you only judge a different version of yourself. 

[White]

@Viking Have you noticed that you're stuck in your head? Try to feel rather than think. You don't understand why you hate people yet. Orange doesn't mean hate, in fact orange is a very rational stage and is objective about emotions. You may be stuck at blue at the moment because of your inability to understand your feelings. You want someone outside to tell you how to do things and manage things, but stage orange has grown out of making anything outside itself an authority and is self accepting. 

[White]

1 hour ago, Viking said:

man, for some reason that dude's videos just bore me to hell

 yes Matt Khan is a charlatan

[White]

@Viking Viking, also notice that you have a HUGE should over your head weighing you down. What I see is you think you should love people and you should be more loving and you should not hate. That's very poor self understanding. In fact it's nothing more than an intellectual intoject you have taken in uncritically from your environment. If you hang out around spiritual types you're maybe going to internalize this chatter. Understand your feelings. Be an observer. Be ok with hate. Be ok with all your emotions. Your emotions are the only true thing about you that you can  count on. Understand them by observing and staying present to your body. Don't escape into the head with all kinds of interpretations and attempts at manipulating your feelings. It doesn't work. 

[PsiloPutty]

A good way to start is with Loving Kindness meditation. There are many guided Metta meditations on YouTube. That should be one of the more non-threatening ways for you to practice love without anyone even knowing it.

Unless you're really connected to love organically, which I'm guessing from your post that you aren't, and that's okay, it might feel corny and artificial the first few times, but once you get used to conjuring genuine love on command, you'll find it much easier. From  that point, you're only a hop skip and a jump from feeling love for people you interact with in person. 

You're made out of love, brother. Share it!   

[robdl]

To seek to love others more is an act of fear.

[Max_V]

@White Which is what Matt Kahn was suggesting in his video  

[Arkandeus]

 look at someone's face a bit longer, can be a picture as well

have a bit more hope for people, for yourself, believe in everyone's happiness

give some love, give some attention

notice the flowers, notice the ground, notice your feet that carry you over the ground, notice the air, notice the chair

a little bit more attention here and there

Edited June 29, 2018 by Arkandeus

[Natasha]

@Viking Your love for others is a reflection of the love you have towards yourself. Learn to love yourself in a healthy way first and see how your love towards others will automatically become more pure and real.

[Viking]

1 minute ago, Natasha said:

@Viking Your love for others is a reflection of the love you have towards yourself. Learn to love yourself in a healthy way first and see how your love towards others will automatically become more pure and real.

@njuufa you both say "love yourself first"

How do I love the ugly parts of myself if they're ugly by my own definition therefore not deserving love and should be eliminated?

[Arkandeus]

3 minutes ago, Viking said:

@njuufa you both say "love yourself first"

How do I love the ugly parts of myself if they're ugly by my own definition therefore not deserving love and should be eliminated?

love of others is love for oneself,

what we cant do for ourselves we can do for others, love is real strength and expansion

include other people and you include more divinity

Edited June 29, 2018 by Arkandeus

[egoeimai]

F*ck! Its so hard to forgive! Hahahaha ?

[Viking]

@Arkandeus did you answer the question? didnt get you.

[PsiloPutty]

@Viking   You can love the nastiness in you because it's a part of being trapped in this chimp body. And when you look at the other chimps, know that every one of them has the same dark business going on in their mind/body as well. I don't know, it's seeing the shared tragedy that also lets you see the shared beauty. I guess a person could just as easily see us all as wretched wastes of space, but damn, I think love is easier. 

[PsiloPutty]

1 hour ago, Arkandeus said:

 look at someone's face a bit longer, can be a picture as well

have a bit more hope for people, for yourself, believe in everyone's happiness

give some love, give some attention

notice the flowers, notice the ground, notice your feet that carry you over the ground, notice the air, notice the chair

a little bit more attention here and there

This is nice. 

And am I nutty for hearing the last part as a Dr. Suess line? 

"Notice the air, notice the chair.....a little bit more attention here and there."