im regressing hard

[Viking]

Lately every day I wake up,I turn off my alarm clock and go back to sleep, not caring when i wake up. I stopped exercising. My university semester ended and I finished the last required homework sets so all i do in my free time is either wasting it or watching youtube videos or watching movies, listening to music, watching football etc. I have a lot to study for the exam period but im not doing it. I eat a lot of sweets, my diet has gone to shit. I gained about 4 kg in the last month. I stopped reading books, because I read them in the morning but now im waking up so late. What I want to do is just lay on the sofa and play some candy crush. 2 weeks ago I was sick so I stopped my yoga routine because I couldnt do it, but I didnt go back to it yet even though im healthy already, i dont meditate either. I stopped a long time ago the life purpose course because it started to be hard. I watched some motivation videos, wanted to start doing the life purpose course, but then gave up shortly after before starting. I dont know how I got into this situation, i was sliding into it slowly, one little thing after another, a few minutes waking up later turned into whole mornings. I realized where this would lead at the time but I didnt do anything about it, i didnt care, i kind of still dont, but at the same time i do, HAAAA.

I know to break free I need to set some aim, get some vision but I just dont get into doing it. It feels like I could easily break free but i just dont get into doing it, i dont want to. I guess my only motivation right now is fear, I fear failing my exams, I fear not actualizing, if i dont my life will be shit, i fear ending up on the street or under my parents' care. if i end up in the extreme of those situations i guess ill kill myself. a huge fear of mine is being like most people, lazy, working a "comfortable good job" getting home and sliding into comfort, never seeing the higher dimensions of life. I still dont do anything though.

[RendHeaven]

Holy shit so relatable! Read my post about my disgusting regression haha. If you're really on the path, I would consider this a phase. What's working for me right now is taking baby steps. Eat a salad, clean your room and go to bed on time today. Then do it for a week. Next week, add something else like exercise/reading. By week 3 drop in meditation and socialization/hobbies/honing skills. At least this is and always has been my game plan. Expect to fall off again in the future. When that happens just do it all over. Day 1, eat a salad, clean your room and go to bed on time  

[Shroomdoctor]

@Viking I regressed quite a lot too. What really helped me is to step down on the "I have to". I am NOT moralizing to myself if I do something or not but I actively love myself regardless. And at the moment Im slowly picking up good things again. But Im trying to focus much more on the emotional child inside me.
 

Watch this.

 

[Shroomdoctor]

@K VIL thank you 

[Brittany]

Teal Swan teaches that regression doesn't exist. And that you only move forward. And that moving backwards is an illusion. Her perspective helped me a TON. 

 

Edited June 28, 2018 by Brittany