Feeling empty and bored even after meditation and in general. Advice?

[lmfao]

I recently finished a large bout of exams, and for 1 month I was neurotic and stressed. I ended up in a never ending procrastination-cramming loop, and these exams were something I should have studied more for since I was paying less attention in school for the past year and my entry into my desired university is dependent on me getting almost perfect grades at A-Level. During this period I was meditating daily, but I was still neurotic.

I've found myself in a situation where I'm just sitting at home doing nothing since I'm in Summer Holidays. After meditating today for 65 mins, I feel more mindful but I also feel extremely empty. Whenever I try to be mindful now I become abruptly consciousness of an all encompassing deep emptiness/sadness within me. It feels insurmountable. The joy of things has been sucked out. And even though "I know" that I am not my thoughts, and that I am getting lost in thought, I feel like there's a massive void inside me which I'm not mature enough to handle. I've barely got the motivation to even exercise today. During these holidays, I wanted to just exercise, meditate and read stuff (whether it was maths or non-duality) for fun. 

[Major Tom]

Ok buddy it mostly sounds like you don't have a life purpose, did you take Leo's course? If not find a way to work on that.

Also the emptiness you say you feel, you are one choosing to give it a negative meaning (which makes sense because the ego doesn't want to go away). 

On exercise, the thing is in order get the energy to exercise, you need to exercise. Think of your next workout as Activation Energy in a chemical reaction. 

[molosku]

Non-dualism is a belief untill you experience it, so any thoughts about it just sits superficially on top of your feeling of emptiness. True spirituality is not just about love and kindness and all the positive, it's about facing EVERYTHING head on. Admit that the feeling is there, and allow it to be there. 

Ground yourself in things that you like, take a walk outside. I literally beat my depression by taking long sad lone walks. During one of those walks I just realized that i choose to identify with a feeling, that comes and goes. You too can realize that your feelings and inner commentary of your feelings come and go, and you can choose to identify with them or not. Im not suggesting more mindfulness, more like acceptance and cobtemplation. 

We all want to face and know the bliss because its easy and pleasant. 

The hard and painfull is there so that you can know the good and the blissfull. 

"Im not mature enough" is a thought. You dont have to become anything to recognize it as such. 

Good luck! 

[lmfao]

@molosku @Major Tom thanks 

Edited June 25, 2018 by lmfao

[Guest Quanty]

Only gets interesting when one connects the Heart chakra with Muladhara chakra, until then is boring. 

[WelcometoReality]

@lmfao 

Are you ready to awaken? Think of that very seriously because once you go over a certain line you won't be able to go back.

[lmfao]

@WelcometoReality Indeed I do want to awaken. Tell me how dude. I'm ready to become woke as fuck. 

Edited June 26, 2018 by lmfao

[WelcometoReality]

6 hours ago, lmfao said:

@WelcometoReality Indeed I do want to awaken. Tell me how dude. I'm ready to become woke as fuck. 

I can't really tell you how :), but I would advice you to set up some good habits such as exercising reguarly, eating healthy and doing gratitude affirmations. It will help you once you do awaken.