Anger Is A Black Flower

[CordeliaHawk]

Preface: I'm 61 and was introduced to the concept of self-actualization at 25. Although I have only listened sporadically to Leo's YT videos, and glanced quickly at the course he offers, which should be REQUIRED college material!!!!!, I know what he is teaching, when applied and Incorporated into the fiber of your being, is life changing. I learned at 25 what a journey becoming self-actualized is, and now, almost 40 years later, I am so THANKFUL to know Leo is teaching EVERYONE how important it is to understand ourselves FIRST, and how we can change our own world's, thereby, maybe, the whole world!

So, I hope you're wondering why I compared anger to a black flower, as I'm sure it's been done before. But when I see my anger, take it out of me, put it on a shelf, the ANGER is not part of me anymore. I see a black rose, strong and erect, standing proud and tall for the whole world to challenge. That's what's above the dirt, the nasty, sewer smelling dirt that feeds my strong black rose. My black rose with hidden strong and many thorns, inviting you to trust that the beauty and rarity of my black rose is worth a  closer look, a touch, take it home and nurture my black rose back into it's glorious red brillance! Change the layer of dirt into nutritional soil. Voilà ! The red rose Is so alluring and perfect once more.

But what about the roots? The roots that are the main life flow that sustains and feeds this perfect rose, with the new soil, and sunlight and perfect growing conditions. The roots are still black; so black that to heal them will take a miracle. More than nice soil, sunshine, water. The roots are so black because of how much pain inflicted by all the bad dirt, nasty water, no sunshine. Some of the dirt came with the fresh clean roots, but so much dirt was caused from self-harm, wrong and bad choices/decisions; some of the rotten dirt thrown in by others with malice and ill-will because of shear non-concern or apathy; doesn't matter if my rose got damaged, the intention was to damage. The roots are long and deep, more than 60 years of growing, the last 20 years being when the roots got the most damage.

These roots, these deep, black, cancerous roots! How do I HEAL these roots that are constantly being fed more filth, garbage, emotional destruction???? How do I become a beautiful red rose with strong, healthy, positive life sustaining nutrition? I need to heal my roots. I need my roots to be healthy.

Can you help me Leo? Do you have the cure for my black roots? I know the answers come from inside, from dissecting my black roots and feeding them healthy, positive nutrition. Do you have the tools to help me grow new, healthy roots and feel alive again? I've lost my way. Help me get strong and be comfortable with me. Help me get rid of my black roots and black rose. I want to feel respected, trustworthy, funny! Help me Leo-one-konobe. Only you can.

 

[Nahm]

@CordeliaHawk You created the anger, it is yours to do with with what you like, or to let it go. If you are feeding yourself “filth, garbage & emotional destruction”, realize you are doing this. Chose otherwise. Give up any need to be seen anyway (respected, etc). 

Anger is holding a hot coal and expecting another to be burned. 

There’s no need to heal a damn thing. Just let it go, stop repeating it. You may be underestimating the nature of creating your experience. It’s like picking weeds, and wondering why you don’t hold flowers. 

 

[CordeliaHawk]

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

@CordeliaHawk You may be underestimating the nature of creating your experience. It’s like picking weeds, and wondering why you don’t hold flowers. 

I'm curious about this analogy. Isn't this exactly what actualizing is about? Finding the weeds in our pyschies, pulling them out, then replace the weeds with flowers? My analogy was about exactly that. But one step further; repairing the roots of my flower so the new one is stronger and robust. And yes, I have to heal. Emotional trauma is like any other physical ailment and needs time, nurturing, tranquility, understanding, compassion to heal. Yes, a lot of the damage is self-inflicted and I have to stop piling more filth into my damaged emotions. That's why I'm here, at this forum, where others are also taking responsibility for where their lives are, trying to understand how we got here, and then trying to stop filling our lives with more shit. Positivity helps a lot to heal a weary soul. Thank you for helping. Positivity is what is needed.

 

[CordeliaHawk]

5 hours ago, Nahm said:

@CordeliaHawk You created the anger, it is yours to do with with what you like, or to let it go. 

I "created the anger?" Do you know anger is the reaction, not creation, to a deeper, harder problem to solve? Do we also create pain in our lives? Are you suggesting that I have the power to just flip a switch and my broken brain is fixed? And if I do have that power; support and encouragement, something that I have NEVER had, will go a long way to making my power stronger. I want to be fixed. I want to put in the work and effort, I AM taking responsibility for driving off that cliff! Now I'm lieing in the actualized.org hospital bed with my head wrapped in bandages and have doctors and nurses here that want to help. And I need help! It took 40 years to drive off that cliff. I won't be fixed by flipping a switch. None of us can just flip a switch and let it go. Not for deep rooted, etched like the grooves in a record, values, beliefs, and traumas that brought us here, looking for understanding, encouragement, trust, and hope that we DO have some control, that we can have a happier existence, that we do have some power to change our lives. It takes work, concentration, failures, and lots and lots of help and support, but to "just let it go" is never gonna happen. I will be able to let go, once I am healed, confident, and strong. Learning how to fix what's broken is why I am here!