The Trap of Emulating the Ideal Self-Actualized Human Being

[7thLetter]

@Leo Gura

This is my suggestion, an in depth video on the trap of people emulating the ideal self-actualized human being, rather than being honest with where they are at in their current level of development. Or something along those lines. Even mistaking memorization of theory as actual growth, would be a part of this trap or this topic I am going to talk about here. And not just with self-actualization and theory, but pretty much anything that has to do with theory and improving your character. So for example we can apply this theory to someone's growth journey as a Pickup Artist. Or someone's journey on the way to becoming successful, etc. I think the closest videos to this suggestion are Leo's "Dropping The Roles You Play" video, and I guess I would say Leo's "Learning = Behavior Change" video. Also important to understand the "Theory vs Practice video as well."

This has been one of the insights that I've been thinking about for a couple months now because I think its so fundamental to my growth in my self-actualization journey, and for anyone else who is on the journey of self-actualization as well. Because this seems to be the easiest trap to fall into! Often times we mistake our knowledge, or memorization of theory as true inner growth. When in reality, memorizing theory is only good for your high school final exam and doesn't create tangible results for you in the real world. For someone to truly embody  the theory, they have to deeply understand it and apply it in their lives. Then once you have understood the concept and applied it, then your behavior and thinking process would change subconsciously in alignment with that theory. There's a good quote that goes, "Knowing is not enough, we must apply." So watching YouTube videos and reading books does not help you grow. You can use that memorization of that theory to talk to your friends about and debate with them so you can sound smart, but that is not growth.

An example of this would be, a beta male listening to pickup advice then acting all tough like an alpha male to try and attract women. From the outside perspective, you can tell that he's faking it and it just comes off as insecurity. Insecurity because he's not acting authentically with himself and the girl, he's acting in accordance to what the theory told him. But if he truly did embody the theory, things would be a whole lot different. To truly embody the theory does not take an hour or a day. It could take weeks, months, or even years of letting the theory guide you in your constant trial and error process. Seeing it happen in your life, contemplating it, and seeing it happen in other people's lives. Then once he's got all that down, the growth should come naturally, and his behavior would change in accordance to the theory without him even thinking about it.

I've even fell into this trap a lot in the past which is why all of this is so important to me. And a quick example is that I was on the pickup journey at one point in my life and I implemented the wrong theory into my interactions with females and it just turned into a whole mess. I did the same thing for about a year which is why I didn't get a whole lot of results. I implemented the theory of "Be an asshole and girls will like you. Don't be the nice guy." So that's what I did. I took it too literally. I was a manipulative dick to most of the girls I approached and they wouldn't set up a date with me or anything. In the end, that destroyed my character and my inner world. I turned into a narcissist and I had a TON of inner demons to deal with. Glad I've got that all handled now.

I also think that its important for newbies to know that with any coaches or instructors out there that they may listen to, are usually speaking from the perspective of someone who has grown to a "higher" level. So if a coach talks about "detachment from outcome", the newbie may listen to that theory and feel the need to implement it right away. And usually when its their first time hearing that, then they think that if they detach from outcome then they will end up just sitting on the couch and not going for what they want. When if you're someone who understands that theory, its not really something that you can implement today, but instead its more of a theory that you naturally to grow into. Its a behavior change. Its a way of living.

"Knowing is not enough, we must apply."

 

 

Edited June 21, 2018 by 7thLetter