A solution for Relapse into old habits (Leo's 3rd retreat recap)

[Bryan Lettner]

(mentioned at 1:08:55) @Leo Gura

The problem: relapse into old habits, when returning to daily life.

      To discuss a solution, let's acknowledge some of the dynamics which are are at play here, and some relevant bullet points.  Kindof a hodgepodge of ideas:

• the principle of induction is immutable, and always in effect.  Whether in electromagnetism or induction of behaviors.  Everything is a tuning fork for everything else.  Environments and circumstances induce habits.
• anchoring is relevant here.  Merely encountering a familiar sight or smell will automatically re-prime the behavioral patterns most often associated with that stimulus. So some amount of stimulus avoidance or de-correlation is helpful.  
• The human body and brain is old, possibly outdated hardware.  Our innate habit-formation protocols are based on a primitive, dangerous survival environment.
• we live in a messy era of increasing confusion.  None of us have a damn clue what we're doing here on Earth, what we are, or what to do about it.  Until this is resolved, we will continue to indulge escapist tendencies.
• like seeks like. Habits of all kinds drive us to seek out other habits which will reinforce it.  We fall back into our "old ways" because these ways have mini egos and are afraid of dying.
• we need to have the humility to view ourselves as mechanical.  There is a continuum (or maybe mobius strip) between inertial and volitional.  Commander, and commanded.  You and I are an amalgam/system of both.  
• all indulgent behaviors are an attempt to get a taste of the divine, which is actually a self-loving act. If we were to reconfigure the human experience such that divinity were the default, rather than the rarity, no one would feel the need to "get high".
• Ideally, choosing the healthier option must feel just as good or better than choosing the unhealthy one.
• Belief plays a big role.  If you don't believe you will be emotionally supported in a new lifestyle, then you will continue to get your support where you already know you can get it (old habits).
• Many tiny unpredictable things trigger our web of habits and loops. Even specularity (quality of lighting) matters a great deal.  It influences your mood etcetera, driving you to behave this or that way.
• Expansion caps.  Expanding with vigor only to hit the walls of a limited box that you can't get out of: whether consciously or unconsciously, we intuitively know that for all our efforts, brutal annihilation is our fate (at this level, anyway). So when we get too close to optimization, we bump up against limits of our human form and habitat.  I think we avoid getting too perfect, because we know that there is nowhere to go from there. So by refining ourselves, we are heading straight for anxiety and paralysis.  Whereas, when we fuck ourselves over, at least we have something to do and some way to grow in the aftermath.
• Feeling the gap: becoming a more healthy and streamlined person will force you to feel the gap between you and others who aren't at that level.  So we avoid transcending opur dysfunctions, because doing so would bring the dysfunctions into sharper contrast.  
• people have no choice but to seek relief.  Certain activities are a "match" to the 9-inch face mole in our lives.  Imagine trying to get a date , but you have a mole which covers your entire face.  The whole face is just one big mole.  Yeah, that's what it's like trying to get in shape or become enlightened while having a job which takes up all your time.  until we get rid of the mole, it will seek matches to perpetuate its existence.  We need freedom AND resources, or short-term gratification habits will inevitably creep in.
• where are habits stored? "neurons that fire together wire together".  Habits are intricate webs of large self-reinforcing tapestries.

 

The solution:  It sucks because it is a mind-numbingly monumental task, and it's not actionable just yet... but the solution, as i estimate, is to take a systems engineering approach.  to put "quality control" on Reality or our neighborhood of it, to the degree that that's possible.

the only real situation is to map out the dynamics at play, as many as possible, and treat it all like a circuit.  For instance, if we could somehow implement proactive monitoring (computer-assisted correlation maps) and on-the-fly decorrelation procedures, then we'd stand a much better chance.  What those decorrelation procedures might look like, I have no idea.  But it would be like an "anti-habit", or habit kryptonite.

-An under-discussed pillar of physical fitness is: not having a job AND already having enough money to buy any food you want AND living close to a gym AND etc etc.  The idea here is that unless you have all of the "and"s checked off, relapse is inevitable, in a deterministic sense.  So nothing less than a complete restructuring of human society will solve relapse issues.  And even then, life as a fragile fleshy body in an indifferent universe is traumatizing enough, even if you have your survival and thriving needs met. So from there, full extrication from our physical universe to "greener pastures" will be in order.  Like a system upgrade. Our type of universe is an old model and is not well-suited for habitation. it comes with inherent stresses, which will necessarily lead to dysfunctions and relapses of all kinds, no matter your level of willpower.  

Just as a psychedelic can supercharge your meditation, a environment finely tuned to be conducive to well-being of its inhabitants can supercharge habits (or decharge the bad ones).  

 

But by all means, exercise the willpower that you do have.
Some helpful habit hacks:

-cold showers (builds will power)

-start each day with a small act of discipline, before any acts of gratification.

-wear earplugs. (drowns out noise, decreases its effect on you).

Edited June 21, 2018 by Bryan Lettner

[How to be wise]

@Bryan Lettner if you relapse, then you pick yourself up afterwards. Simple as that.